Tuesday, October 24, 2006

lesson in creepiness #2


so i posted lesson #1 last week, i hope you boys have had the chance to experiment on your own, find some quick tactics to creep out the femeninas and have strangers discussing it on some obscure lame-ass blog....hmm?
ok.
so king charles-edward is in some indiedudu band and does a lot of promo for his super-rad jittery-guitared alcoholomelancholic band. and by doing so, every time he plays shows, he sends hundreds of people flyers for the shows... for those of you who are not familiar with the concept of having friends who have bands and play shows, this is how it works: you get your mailbox filled with useless emails telling you about new songs and upcoming shows that you'l have to attend just to show some support and pretend that you like it. fun. anYhOOOo. so king charles-edward the first wrote his spam as usual and sent it to millions of montrealers... make it billions... billions of montrealers, including my supercool sister. so my sister opens her mailbox and reads this email that says: show next friday, blahblahblah... lamelamelame... musicbeermoneydrugssexandbleedinganuses. and a ps: please forget the previous mail, i meant to send you something else. for those of you who are not familiar with emails, the most recent mails go to the top of te list. thank you.
intrigued my super-rad-cool-extraordinary sister opens the second email and sees a completely different version of the flyer she just saw, and by completely different version, i mean, not the same at all... this means it has nothing to do with anything. basically. ok?ok.
the flyer displays pictures of big breasted strippers and hoes (that's black for whores... and whores is slang for prostitute... and prostitute is your mom), and in the foreground, a much bigger picture of our good friend the queen elisabeth (please refer to the first lesson as i changed the names... i mean... come on.) with, in big block letters "queen elisabeth, the whore"... classy!
keep in mind this is something he sent to the billions of montrealers to whom he had sent his other flyer.
so there you have it grasshoppers, this is how you will find yourself one step closer to achieving absolute creepiness.


next: a lesson on how to inadvertently upset the creeps!

2 comments:

Dementor said...

These stories are incredibulous !
I cannot wait to tell them to my little grand children at bedtime!

Karl Hungus said...

What are you doing in bed with your grandchildren?


.....creepy.