Thursday, February 28, 2008


Its a little long, but I'd say its worth it till the third dish

It's A Small World After All

I was hard at work, when I stumbled upon this little nugget of an article. Here's a quote:

"Dude, check this one out," Andrew told friend Ben Witt, holding a copy of the Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass LP Whipped Cream & Other Delights. "Is that the funniest thing you've ever seen, or what?"

Said Article

No mention of Caption Ahab, though. Or whatever his name is.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008



July 14, 1944 - February 3, 2008

I only recently became acquainted with his website. I had just started imbibing the encyclopaedic knowledge it presents, when Mr. Brown died. May his dedication and love of bikes live on.

If ever you have a question about bikes, this is the best place to start.

His website

I see your Jon Lajoie and I'll raise you a Chuggo!

yup... serious though, this guy's a friend of mine and he's really cool...

I treat pussy like weed cause i pass it around!!!!

Merci Etienne... Fucking hilarious!!!!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

No need to thank me

That regular everyday normal mofo from the previous post reminded me of that special kind of hell that we choose to forget. That's right. James Blunt hell! Enjoy!

Monday, February 25, 2008

You know why I like you Harry ? Because...

and then exageration:

The New Jean Chrétien?

Man being approached by Sarko: Ah non, touche moi pas...
Sarko: Casse-toi alors...
Man: Tu me salis
Sarko: Casse-toi alors pauvre con

Hehehe, I love this shit.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

My new street

As some of you know, I've decided to relocate into a new condo in a part of town that is not known to many, simply because it hasn't been fully built yet and it used to be a landfill next to the CP railway. So I go on Google Earth to check out the new neighborhood. And I find out something quite interesting. One of the streets to be created will be called Gerry Boulet!

So, although I won’t be able to boast that I live on Gerry Boulet, I will be able to proudly say that I live between Chambord and Gerry Boulet.

It’s perfect, really. Why? Well, to better understand, you need to get acquainted with our friend Gerry Boulet (may he rest in peace) in the video below.

You see, Gerry had a positive outlook on life despite being doomed to forever wander in industrial wastelands. He dwelled in the blue collar rock world of Offenbach.

But he had the soul of a scholarly gentleman. That is why, on one end of Gerry Boulet street, you find…

Parc Wilfrid-Laurier. The kind of place where you could picture mathematicians walking around in their pajamas discussing L-functions and elliptic curves over tea.

And on the other end…

Garbage incinerator number 3, where tavern bathroom blowjobs are all you have to look forward to.

Hey! If its good enough for Gerry, its good enough for me.

Friday, February 22, 2008

no comment


Don't ask me how I came across this.

More badass than Maurice

Ok, not really, but this is pretty awesome. Gotta love Nascar!

i just looked up tough guy and look what i found. fantastiche.

and while i'm at it, this is my favorite flag. St Pierre et Miquelon. beat that.

Tougher guy

Try this for presence

Thursday, February 21, 2008

tough guy

i just realized that this picture is pretty badass... probably one of the meanest sports picture i've seen! in fact, i dare you to show me a sports picture that's got more badass/toughness/sportsmanship/godlike-presence elements in it...

ladies? hasn't this happened to the best of us?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

What I meant by glazed sausage arms

I know I`m not the only one who got hungry when wrestling was on. Man, with a little dijon mustard, some sauerkraut and a side of spaetzle, I would definitely take a bite outta those. Look at them, they're cooked to perfection and simmering in their own juices! Harumpf...Slober

Irrelevant Irrelevance

If I had pictures of me like that, I would have been the boss too!

i just slept 14 hours for no reason

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Montreal pour la Promenade

Ok. Je suis complètement écoeuré de rester sur mon cul à regarder le monde passer sans jamais rien faire pour changer les choses.
Alors, voilà, aujourd'hui, ça y est, c'est le moment de s'impliquer :
Votez pour Montréal, la plusse belle meilleure ville de le monde.
On est en 2ème position derrière Istanbul et c'est inacceptable.

When Bill gets mad.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Nothing to say

I just had to add a new post because I couldn't stand seeing those two dudes anymore every time I checked the blog.

Kosovo : A Bad Start

Empathic congratulations to those who wanted Kosovo to become independant.
Empathic 'life sucks' to those who did not want it to become independant.
Empathic 'how about them Habs?!' to those (like myself) who don't really care.

However, I must hasten to add that it seems to me like the Kosovan people are making a HUGE mistake.

You might have seen the news on the TV and seen images of crowds waving really cool looking flags. This one:

That would be the flag of Albania. And it's not too far fetched for them to wave it as Kosovo is a predominantly ethnic Albanian place. What I don't get is why they then turn around and choose this flag as their new standard:

Dude, how can you go from a top-ten flag to some shitty lame-o design. It looks like it was done by a grade-schooler. And it makes me think of Cyprus. I don't know what the flag of Cyprus looks like, but I assume it must be similarly uninspiring.

Wait, let me go find out.


Yup, I was right.

The only that flag is inspiring me to do is to insult it down in a blog.

Stupid flag.

I guess they went to the same flag school as non-Québec Canadian provinces did.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Recess time : An Enigma.

Here are the brothers Bigsam and Grimsam.
They hear everything and see everything.
They're standing in front of two doors.
Bigsam can only say the truth, and Grimsam can only tell lies. (you dont know which is which).
One of the doors leads to certain death, and the other to 72 non-muslim virgins.
So you only have one question to ask one of them to know which is the right door.
What will it be?

Ready or Not

I'm comin' to gitchuu!

Friday, February 15, 2008

And now for something completely different!

my new favorite blog....

These guys are good. they tell us how we are! finally! a guide to white people!

Lucid dreaming - accompanied by portrayed irrelevance.

Have any of you kids ever experienced a lucid dream?
You know, those dreams where you actually realize you're dreaming and you consciously take control of your actions affecting the dream world.
Well I had one the other night, and it made me understand a little further who I really am, as a person, or a "human being", if you will.
The experience is quite exhilarating. It is probably the most freeing instant one might ever live, even though it is not real. In the instant, the satisfaction and the pleasure are at their paroxysm, and I really cant see how they could be topped by reality, it wont ever come close if you ask me, at least not till they invent those neuro chips, or till they put out Army of Darkness II, or till they put out neuro chips that let you be in Army of Darkness II, but I digress.
So I woke up in a dream, in this bar. Even though every aspect of my surroundings and my own feelings were unreally sharp as if I were there, I somehow knew it was a dream, and I strutted down and made my way to the bar where a couple of plantureuses ladies were sipping on their drinks. Without even considering the nature of the act and its possible repercussions, nor thinking about doing something more elevated like, I dont know, flying, I lept at the nearest girl and started grabbing her everywhere at once, and then I shoved my cock in her face and grabbed her tits some more and slapped her face with the cock and shoved it in her eyes and nose and then I grabbed the other girl and did the same, all very fast, very quick, as if every seconds counted and the only thing that really mattered was molesting those two chicks as best as I could, they were not very pleased, but their indignant state was all the more arrousing for me and so I cumshot their face.
There was a moment when I considered trying to fly away, but that was like a nanosecond.
Anyways after raping those chicks I ended up in a police car and thats where I went from lucid dreaming to basic dreaming, from active to passive state. I could hear and see the two women lecturing me on how bad I had been, waving their finger at me, and I felt really really bad about it.
So I guess that Freud guy was right about the ça and the surmoi and the moi.
I became It, and I lived It, and I loved It.
There's a rapist inside of me people.
Good thing theres also the police.
I wonder who put them there. Geez, if only Freud could tell me.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Rave! Concepts and Horizons and an irrelevant picture

Conceptual Horizons. That's what you are seeing on your conceptual horizon right now.

Conceptual Horizons. Man, what a concept! What a horizon!

I'm the middle of some nasty reading on Primordiality, Perenialism, Modernism and Ethno-Symbolism and KABLAMO! the writer takes a huge dump on my brain. What a delicious idea. Conceptual Horizons!

''Concerning fremdenfeindlichkeit, I truly believe that on the conceptual horizon we will be seeing a new tolerance within humanity, a sort of lessening of tension between the Us and the Them. Whether that is due more to a rise of new poles of power or the intense global migration patterns or rather because of the advent of the air car remains to be discussed.

Conceptual horizons. Use it or lose it!

irrelevant picture

good morning... a rant with an irrelevant picture

I've got a rant.

So I call up the Ministere de l'Education (ahem, et du loisir et du sport) to ask them if they'll partly fund my excursion to the US for my PhD. So the dude asks me: "C'est quelle Universite?" and I say "University of Washington", then he says "OK, W-A-C-H-I-N-T-E-N.... hmmm... non je ne le trouve pas". I politely correct him and then he asks me what program it is, so I hesitantly say "Epidemiology" only to be met with "Quoi? Hein? C'est-tu de la danse, ca?". Granted, it's not a word you see every day, but dance? Wachinten? He works at the goddamn ministry of EDUCATION! fuck.

Then I get a phone call from the University of North Carolina telling me I have to take a test called the Test of English as a Foreign Language. I try and explain to her that English is actually my mother tongue and blah blah blah and she says, "I'm sorry ma'am, but it says here that everyone from the PROVIDENCE of Queeeebec is French and has to take the test".

I wonder if these people have discussions about the appropriateness of the words xenophobia and fremdenfeindlichkeit in different contexts. fuckers.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

I (heart) India? (part 134 of a series)

Maybe it's not India after all

After mechanical problems ground one of its Boeing 757s, officials of Nepal Airlines sacrifice two goats on the tarmac at Kathmandu airport to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu god of sky protection. The plane then successfully completes its scheduled flight to Hong Kong.

The Story

the Hindu god of sky protection. nice. I wonder what the Hindu god of wooden table protection against wet-glasses is called.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Scientology vs. Cocaine: a comparison.

Why I don't like swimming in the ocean...

Reason #32

The Sea Wasp:

Deadliest creature in the sea. You touch it, you're dead. And you can't scare it away because it has no brain.

I Sound Smarter than You!

I Sound Smarter than You! is a new series brought to you by the same people who produce I (heart) India!

Next time you are at a dinner party/social event and someone brings up xenophobia in modern society, casually drop the following term: fremdenfeinlichkeit.

You will have guessed that fremdenfeinlichkeit is a german word. You will NOT have guessed that it literally means hostility to strangers. You could easily argue that fremdenfeinlichkeit can be considered more accurate, since hostility towards strangers is not necessarily a phobia or irrational fear.

Here is an example of its use in a particularly cunning manner.

Sycophantic Backstabber: Well, I agree that many Western European societies are having great difficulties adapting newly arrived immigrants, either adapting to them or having them adapt. But can we really be surprised considering this very civilization invented the term xenophobia?

Lucky Lucille: Hahaha, you're so witty! I took a class on xenophobia and we studied a very interesting comparison between pre and post-modern xenophobic attitudes.

Sycophantic Backstabber: Hmmm, that is quite intriguing. Although I hasten to add that I find the term xenophobia to be inadequate to the task. The German fremdenfeindlichkeit is easily more appropriate and accurate. After all, hostily to strangers is not necessarily a phobia or an irrational fear.

*** The preceding example showed us both a proper use and an adroit use, having stealthily inserted xenophobia in the conversation with the sole purpose of correcting it with our new word.

I Sound Smarter than You! Works for me, works for you!

Ignorance + Lack of Curiosity = Blehch


Someone called today at work. Here is what transpired:

CALLER: Hello, I'd like to speak to ahhh, hmmm, ahhh, maktimag, I don't know how to pronounce this, huh, m-e-r-i-e-m.

yes, Meriem. A slightly different way of spelling Myriam, a goddam common name.

CRISSE, tu fais-tu exprès?

Monday, February 11, 2008

ho hum

i can't stand facebook anymore but i'm scared i'll be out of the loop if i give up my account... oh the dilemma

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Friday, February 8, 2008

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Moving on then...

So I checked this out, and it's real.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

My kids need your help...

I need help from you guys. My students don't exactly have a state-of-the-art studio, so I need all the stuff I can get. If any of you decide to throw out old magazines, wood panels, cardboard, fabrics (en bref: anything that could be used to create artworks) please give them to me. The more I have to work with, the more I can offer my students.


Will it blend?

Poor Jesus!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Presidential pool 2008

I've got 20$ on the old white man, a very safe choice.
Place your bets, do it here.