Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy new years.

I once saw this movie predecessor when I was really hungover. It was equal parts awesome and terrible. This looks like it's going to be par for the course. I can't wait:

too bad it's not out tomorrow. I think I'm going to need it.


Looks like I have some catching up to do:

Tuesday, December 30, 2008


...nevermind the fact that this is a car. I posted this because of the design. Fucking nuts.

Faith Restored

I was just about to leave the house for work this morning when I noticed that my bag was missing. A giant "Oh no!" crept over my whole body as I realised that I had left it at La Remise last night. Now normally that wouldn't have been such a big deal, but the severity of the loss of the contents of my favorite Cocotte bag slowly began to dawn on me at work. (which was excruciatingly painful, I might add: filled with Tequila burps and horrible waves of nausea).

Now it wasn't the cool business card holder that I paid too much for that I was worried about. Nor was it the scarf my sister had bought me in Paris, or my $80 headphones. It was my ipod touch. At first I told myself "Oh well, it was just a $400 toy". But then I realised how much was on it: all of my contacts, all my emails directly downloading to it, access to my facebook and every other account I have, and more... Basically, anyone with half a brain who found it could do some serious damage.

So I went to the bar at about 2pm and there was my bag, exactly where I had left it, in plain sight, surrounded by about 10 of the most hard-up people in worn-down clothes, completely drunk (of course). I walked over, opened it up, and everything was exactly where it should be, including a full beer I didn't even know I had. The only damage done was a few scratches on the ipod screen because I fell during a drunken snowball fight on the way to the bar (beer caps and glass make scratches).

Anyways, all this to say that the people not stealing my bag or its contents restored a bit of my faith in humanity. Either that, or I not only have a horseshoe up my ass, but the whole horse, buggy, and driver up there as well. I'm putting an access code on my ipod.

Fucking Tequila.

This saturday...

Dear Freeloaders

Start helping out the best human project since you started getting closer to death.

Wikipedia Affiliate Button

I did.

Monday, December 29, 2008

i thought you'd enjoy this.

More Guessing! Happy Time Version

Which organisation had this as one of its mottos : ''To keep you is no benefit. To destroy you is no loss.''

Here's a photographic hint:

The answer can be found here.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

I had to

For the record, I am against randomly posting Youtube videos on the blog to create content...but Candyman pressured me to do this.

A wind that'll knock the wind outta ya

Man, forget biking. Just walking was a challenge for me today. What kind of place do we live in where you have to avoid flooded areas by treading on sheer ice while dodging falling branches in 100km/hr gusts?

So, I’ve done some research based on weather forecasts and can’t quite figure out what kind of phenomenon this is. It seems like a depression of almost cyclonic proportions, hence this satellite image:

Yeah, it’s not a hurricane but I’ve never felt a wind this strong since skydiving or riding in the back of a convertible going at 200km/hr.

Though the wind, to me, was a bit unsettling, I set out to have one of the best smokes of my life. I went on my balcony and faced the incoming wrath unhindered by the construction wasteland that lay ahead. I actually had to keep one foot behind the other (fighter’s stance) to keep from falling over. There was no immediate threat but the sheer strength of nature left me humbled. I felt vibrations below my feet and kept on swallowing the air in a gasping attempt to breathe properly. Needless to say, tears and snot were blowing off the side of my face and the coolness enveloped me like an icy womb. I, of course, also had to have a beer with the cigarette in question and blast a very appropriate Ensiferum song in my headphones to complete the circle of personal gratification.

Thank you, global warming, for giving me these cheap thrills

Guess This

And you get to be happy about yourself.

For the full size picture, go here

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Seasonal Overload

Jesus! I don't know how much more I can take. Christmas party this, christmas party that, family here, family there, social situation here/this, social situation there/that...

I know I should'nt be complaining since when I reread these lines as a lonely, overweight, friendless, malodorant 47-year-old loser with bad skin and no friends or family, I'll shed a pathetic tear. But right now, it's a bit much. Really. It's like all I could use is the type of evening that my future self has too many of: jerking off naked on the couch, with a bucket's worth of fried chicken carcasses strewn across myself and said couch, all the while pointlessly losing my time (life) perusing the supernet.

In fact, as I write these, my girlfriend is pressuring me to get my ass in gear.

I'll see you on the outside.

Friday, December 26, 2008

As much as I love Nerdlord's starscream...

This is a better way to ring in the new year:

and this of course

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Monday, December 22, 2008

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Friday, December 19, 2008

Nice try

This one's from our own polytechnique.
I like the level design.


Art is all garbage, a whole lot of hot air.

Speaking of Russ Meyer

Seriously, there are other videos like this one. I don't know who writes this stuff but it's simply genius. One of them simply qualifies one of the actresses as "The personification of innocence trapped in the body of a woman". Why isn't this stuff still around?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Love it

Not only is this another video post, but it's a video post about video games. That's right... and there's nothing you can do about it... except not watch it, I guess. But watch it anyways.


Say what you want about PeTa, but they make some pretty sweet ads.

For two different reasons, I thought these warranted being shared:

Damn! After that last one, I think I'll start calling them PeVOP - People for the Ethical Viewing of softPorn.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Nerdlord's Free

So let's give him the cold shoulder. Just cause.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Taakaashi miikee of course

Candyman was right.
I forgot Miike had done it before.

I believe this is the scene right after Ichi is caught pulling a tear jerker while spying on the dude.

pushing that terminator shit off the page...

well i wanted to push this thing off the page in posting this cause it was so goddamm annoying... but since it,s already slipped down, i'll post it anyway cause it's a classic and it's so damn funny.

Please check this out

Somebody please explain this site to me...


Why did you have to re-ignite my passion for Betty?

Wow...erotic dancing has hardly changed at all in the past 50 years.

This post has nothing to do with douchebags...

well, there is a cop in this video...

Monday, December 15, 2008

Did someone say douchebag?

I looked in my bag o' douches and found this:

One Less Icon

Did you know that Page, Betty died recently? But I like to say that as long as we keep masturbating to her, she stays alive.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Douchebag of the Year

No hope.

"Mommy, are there gonna be terrorists in the future?"
"Oh No, my boy, they are all dead, or in the process of being killed."

And thats all he gets.

You know JFK and his little brother, they were decent people you know. They were loved by the masses and all. Sure, John may have had a less than respectable sexual life but that was his problem, not ours. Then of course there was Vietnam. But even then, Vietnam was from the beginning straight up a fight against communism. He didnt lie about it. And then even Reagan got shot. But George? I thought he should have been assassinated like 346 times. The whole world seemed to think that too.
Then all he gets is a pair of shoes.
I know you arabs have had it hard, with all those bombs that were dropped on your ass, but I mean, come on, at least try to aim right.

Douchebags alert!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Rapping you guys will get behind...

rap about good stuff.

I want my grandV K!

I havent been riding for two days.
My knees are actually hurting from not moving.
I think I may have developed chondro-calcinosis from all this inertia.

On another subject, please dont try to reach me for the next 6 days.
I'm taking heavy fire from this ending semester, and I need as less human contact as possible, as it might alter my computing abilities.

I love you all very much.

p.s Woody, are you in town? Dont call me.

Friday, December 12, 2008

and then... IT struck me!

THIS is what we need!!!!!

* Almost impossible to fall.
* Almost impossible to slide under a car.
* Great luggage capacity.
* Low cost.
* Homebuilt.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Hey Bonerpants

Try not to shit yourself.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Nerdlord's Winter Biking tips.

Yes, winter biking is dangerous. But, like chemical war, there are ways to survive it.The veteran biker already knows the ennemy's true nature. Those vile, cowardly car driving slimes are waiting at every corner to run him over with their oversized vehicles. It's already hard to survive them in summer, but in winter its almost a suicide mission. Nevertheless, the brave heroes still find the courage and the strenght to ride the snowy streets and fight the war on cars. Here are some tips for them:

Tip #1: Always watch your six.

The lazy backstabbing fiends that are roaming this city's streets will follow you wherever you go. Falling is a part of winter biking, so when you fall, you dont want it to happen in front of a truck. Always watch your six, and never ride in front of a car when rolling on shaky grounds.

Tip #2: How to survive a car run-over

If your constantly watching your back, then you wont see the large 4 cm wide chunk of ice that will inevitably make you lose balance if you're riding on 3 cm summer tires. And of course, cars wont disapear because you're watching them. So you need to know how to handle the car run-over when it happens. First, let go of the bike. Then, bring your legs as close to yourself as possible. Then, look up to the car and try to evaluate the speed at which it is heading at you. If its coming too fast, then forget about the next step and just lay down on the ground and hope you're thinner then the car's ground clearance. If its coming at you at a relatively slow speed, as is frequently the case during winter conditions, then try grabbing on to the bumper with both hands, while letting the car push you until it stops. During the push, try looking behind you to see if the car you are riding is gonna crush you against the car in front. In that case, slide under the car and let it run you over. If not, just wait until it comes to a stop. Remember to always keep your legs close to yourself. If you dont, then you're gonna have to switch to one of those weird hand operated bikes.
Once the car's come to a complete stop, stand up, take a sharp object or a massive one and insert it in the eye or the mouth of the driver. Make sure he doesnt die from his wounds, but remains crippled for life.

Winter Biking Is Dangerous!!!

For some reason, mountain bikes don't perform well in the snow. It collects between the teeth of the tires and just forms a slippery-smooth coat. I basically felt like I had replaced my tires with banana peels. I almost died, and I ended up having to walk my bike home. FUN!

The guy in this video has it pretty bad too, but for different reasons.

PS: This movie was filmed in 1896 by Louis Lumière.


What do you get when you cross Andrew W.K.

and Lee ''Scratch'' Perry?


Yes, Andrew "Party 'till you Puke" W.K. has produced LSP's latest album. It should be noted that Lee "Scratch" Perry may have invented Reggae and Dub. He's known for his innovative production techniques as well as his eccentric character. Here's a quote from his MySpace: "Arguably the first creatively driven, "artist-producer" in modern recorded music, Lee "Scratch" Perry occupies the highest level of music making - standing comfortably next to pioneers like George Martin, Phil Spector, and Brian Wilson."

"With his own studio at his disposal, Perry's productions became more lavish, as the energetic producer was able to spend as much time as he wanted on the music he produced. It is important to note that virtually everything Perry recorded in The Black Ark was done using rather basic recording equipment; through sonic sleight-of-hand, Perry made it sound completely unique."

Here's an interview with him. Don't watch it if you're currently on drugs. And this has nothing to do with anything, but one of his albums is called Jamaican E.T.

Which brings me to my question of the day. Is the following video a parody or the real thing?

There's another song from the album on his MySpace, God Save His King, which is pretty special.

i'm learning about macros!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Don't worry about GI Joe

'Cause you're in for a treat:

Man, I love that poster! The best part is that it will activate automatically every time you check the blog, whether you like it or not. And no one can stop some kind of robotic entity...that took on a mind of its destroy its creator...yes...

Anyways, here's hoping they'll put a classic Fear Factory song in the closing credits. I mean come on. You can't tell me Fear Factory and Terminator don't mix.

This one is smelling like semi-digested blue cheese from a dead rats' rotten guts

Although a ninja with blades and a gun will always be pretty cool.

Apparently they didnt even include Shipwreck.
They're probably saving him for the sequel, like they did with Soundwave.
Cheese and crabs. This is so depressing. Good thing I've got a naked 12 year old to look at.

Today v. Yesterday

Man, sometimes I get lost in my own bellybutton. Do you know what I mean? Take this sorry for example.

BBC Story here.

Which got me thinking about I thought our contemporary society was so much freer and shocking that before. While that may be true for many subjects, I know not of a more provocative album cover than this one:

But then again, we can also compare The Flintstones to South Park...

In a completely different conceptual space, great day for Winter Sun and some bike riding, nay?


Surely this pic deserves to be in the pantheon of best cat pics ever?

Monday, December 8, 2008

About fucking time

that guy's gonna freshen up that old rotten parliament.
I cant wait to hear what he's gonna say.

Sunday, December 7, 2008


Phew, i think i finally made it to 2006, as i'm writing this from my cell phone on my opera mini browser! This unlimited web browsing option is der shize! Especially since for all intents and purposes, i'm now paying a dollar less for all the same options i used to have, except now i get unlimited mobile web browsing. So why don't you tethered ludites suck my balls as i masturbate in a public bathroom looking at online porn on my phone screen!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

And the Oscar goes to...

From the trailer alone I can tell that this is going to be an epic movie worthy of the highest cinematic honors. I hope to God this actually sees a theatre release although it obviously won't. If not, well, we need to get really shitfaced and watch this.
I mean, how do you top Nazi zombies? You really can't, can you?

Friday, December 5, 2008


Is a creepy hairy cat thing...

(I really don't know where I'm going with this)


Is a wanker.

hey dildo

Merry Christmas. I got you some vigorous jerk off material. Enjoy your slither & slime!

Friday Plans?

I suggest

Picture of Mont-Royal


Picture of Booze

Anyone in?

Thursday, December 4, 2008


No Hope Losers?

The following comment by Sean Avery of the Dallas Stars has caused a huge kerfufle in the NHL. As for context, his ex or conquest, Elisha Cuthbert is currently going out with Dion Phaneuf of the Calgary Flames. The Stars we're playing the Flames later that evening.

Pas d'classe, pas p'entoute. Funny, though. But I don't see why a player should get in trouble for locker room trash talk.


You know, as much as Stevie Harper makes my skin crawl and drastically inflates my desire to separate, Canada is still a pretty damn decent place to live. I mean, if we were in Africatown, the current political situation would leave us with riots and scores of dead.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Clusterfuck in da House

Instead of freaking out

blaming the other guy

and making threats of menage à trois,

shouldnt these guys be voting laws forbidding semen based recipes in public restaurants!?


I just found the missing glove!

You better start training sir, cause we got a bout comin!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

This one probably cant take a joke neither...

My philosophy : If you cant take a joke, then you've got issues.

To make my point, lets look at the political situation in the US.
Every political pundits that are funny are democrats. Name me one republican who can show the slightest sign of a sense of humour. You cant. Unless you think Ann Coulter is funny. But if what he/she says is humour, then she/he needs to be incarcerated.
My point being, why cant republican be funny? Because! They all think they hold the truth and nothing but the truth. They're fanatics. And fanatics cant laugh at themselves, or else they wouldnt be fanatics. It is this inability for self-deprecation that makes the republican pundits so not funny. And Ann Coulter and the other Bill O'reily definitely have got really hard core psychological issues.

Candyman, you need to loosen up man, take a joke every now and then, and maybe one day you'll see that voting for Harper is really not the best option for you.

Monday, December 1, 2008

The artists

I've always had a problem with artists that are over the top serious about their art. Its the arrogance, the unabashed display of ego love that kinda makes me sick.
I dont know.
Its all right to love your art. Its all right to love yourself.
I mean I love myself. And I love my art.
In fact, my art is important to me, as much as the viewer is important to me. It is my hope that they develop their... oh fuck this shit, man, ROCK OVER LONDON, ROCK OVER CHICAGO, DRY PROCESSED MEAT SAUSAGES, PART OF A COMPLETE BREAKFAST.

To Nerdlord

I'm flattered you read my philosophy on painting. However, for making fun of it in your blogger profile, I must promptly and assertively flip you the proverbial bird. Seriously: fuck you, find something better to do.

Another bike post from the "For The Blog Critics" collection

Hey hey!
I've been pushing zits and caca mous over this winter biking thing, especially with my non budget stopping me from buying the proper tires, which I dont even think I could fit on my Deep Vs (enlighten me Syco). Anyways, I think I just found the best solution!


* Zip tie every other rim section between spokes (range: 1 per 3 spokes or 1 per 1; depending on ice) on only rear wheel
* Place and center and tighten zip ties so that tie clasp is facing towards hub (not too tight, just tight enough to keep from moving and not pinching tire) and between spokes
* Test with 1 tie and spin wheel to check for tolerances with fenders and frame
* Trim off extra cable on all ties
* Push clasp to center it on rim facing hub
* Spin wheel to recheck
* Work around tire as needed (add more later if needed)


* 20+ zip ties (6+ inches in length) ~$3
* Large nail clippers
* Bike with hub or disk brakes on rear wheel


* Pedal in low gear smoothly and take shallow turns use only rear brake when possible

of course that riding technique would never be possible in my case... low gears is not an option, and disk brake? are you kidding me? what kind of rat soup eating moron would put a disk brake on his bike?
Anyways, the thing with winter biking is you cant fucking use your front brake! Or else you're flirting with front wheel skids and being horizontally teleported to the ground with the bonus violent impact is no fun way to travel. Basically you're riding brakeless, on ice, which is fucked.