Thursday, March 31, 2011

Best President EVER!!!

Case and point: why the Harper government is more like the Empire than you think:

Mr. Harper is so set on his F-35s.

A report from an American company came out last week about the transaction for the fighter jets with Lockhead Martin. It states that is has no idea where Harper's cabinet got his numbers. Harper's claiming that they will cost 75 million each whereas in truth, they will run more likely around 110 to 115 million of your dollars each.

Why is Harper's government more like the Empire than you think?

Well... If any of you have ever seen Star Wars the movie, you might recognize this:

Tie Fighter pilot helmet:

F-35 pilot helmet:

Also, Harper claims that the jets will create jobs. Now... considering all the parts will have to come from Lockhead Martin, the only jobs I can see being created are jobs in the military. You know, recruiting for guys to service the jets, and protect the jets, and be in the jets... You know... guys in uniform you can really depend on...

Oh... and P.S.: the jet's supposed to have solid-state lasers.


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Friday night

The Spazzer and I are goin on friday. Who's in?

Ughh... + sigh of despair


Sunday, March 27, 2011

Well well... woudya look at that.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Nerd Quest For Glory

WARNING: this message concerns only the nerds reading this blog. Non-nerds stay off. You've been warned.

Consider this n X n matrix.

I want to visit only the values on the upper triangle (i.e visit only the Pij's where j > i, Pij being the value at line i and column j)
I want to visit k successive values at a time.
(P13 succeeds P12, P14 succeeds P13, and P23 succeeds P1n, meaning you change line after you've hit the end of line)

How do I find, in any vth visit, the first line and column to start my visit from?

I wasnt clever enough to find the function so I pre-calculated all the upper triangle matrix coordinates (the ij's of all successive points in the triangle) and placed them in a two dimension array that I could then visit the way I wanted to retrieve the line and column needed, but thats just not fast enough, as I'm dealing with huge numbers of data to be computed in parallel. I NEED THAT FUNCTION! I'm just too intellectually exhausted right now to try and find it (or its probably that I'm too stupid to find it)

The nerd hero who will find the answer will acquire 10 glory points.
(finishing GOW2 at titan difficulty equals 4 glory points, so its worth it)


Friday, March 25, 2011

More Caca Humour

I was working at a warehouse this week. There's one bathroom per floor. You need a key to use it, thus have a local in the building. I found this posted on the door of the bathroom stall. Brilliant.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Top Ten

So I was on the ol' Google Analytics checking out the stats for the 19Bernard blog. I decided to check out the Keywords that people searched in Google that landed them on the site. Hilarious.

So here's my top ten:

10. kylie minogue tennis ass

9. there's plenty wrong with me

8. former astronauts in kaffeyehs

7. dieter-laser

6. racism its not funny

5. + sex + images

4. mononc serge master of bobettes

3. wes anderson dipshits

2. how to forget the human centipede

...and number one!!!!...

1. caca

Monday, March 21, 2011

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Special request for my special friends...

So ya... I got some really good news last week. I got approached by a gallery and they want to represent me. I'm stoked.

As a result, I have to make some changes in my online social media stuff. For the past while I've been using Facebook less and less for keeping in touch with friends and stalking girls, but more and more for networking with galleries and other artists. Now the gallery owner representing me wants to be my Facebook friend. At this point, it doesn't make sense not to add him.

I'm going to be tightening up my privacy settings, and removing a bunch of stuff. You know... spring cleaning. And here's my request:

Can we keep the degenerate stuff on the blog where anonymity reigns king?


Friday, March 18, 2011

If my life had a soundtrack I can only hope it would be as epic.

You of all people should know, there's plenty wrong with me.

Probably my new favorite line in a thing ever. I love Mark Hamil's delivery on this one. Kitschy but with just the right level of creepy.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Hypocrisy versus Parody

So a friend invited me to an "event" which was basically just a call to action to ban some pro-Palestinian page written in Arabic, except for some ridicously obnoxious, ignorant English part ("If Facebook blocked this page..All Muslims Will Boycott Facebook For Ever!"). The event criticized the pro-Palestinian page because it spread violence and hate.

The bizarre part was that a cursory look at the event revealed this (my photo edit)

My question to you is, is this a fine example of hypocrisy or parody?

ummm.. ya.. so this games scares the living shit out of me

Cardinal Joe Molesto The White

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Objection votre honneur ! L'accusé a pas d'osti d'allure !

So I conspired with Hasbro to destroy Cardinal's GPA

And I have been fruitful:

UK-based Jagex is hopeful that it has the touch to make a successful Transformers MMO outside of Japan. The developer of browser-based fantasy MMO RuneScape has worked out a deal with Hasbro which will see its game released in North America, Europe, Latin America, Australia and New Zealand sometime in 2012.

There's little to go on beyond Jagex CEO Mark Gerard's promise that the title will be "dynamic and action-packed" -- and no word if it'll be based on the classic G1 Transformers or any of its subsequent iterations (or even the Bayformers).

Asia is getting its own, separate Transformers MMO from China's NetDragon. It's slated to roll out there this year.

More than likely it will brutally rape and murder Cardinal's inner child and leave it in the streets, crying little tears out whimpering "There's no place like Cybertron, there's no place like Cybertron".

Monday, March 14, 2011


So in other news,

I'm always looking for ways that individuals (myself primarily) can make an impact in regards to climate change. The thing is, the grandeur of the problem makes it very difficult for any one person to do anything significant that isn't involved politically, as an activist, a home owner, or in a position of power.

In the same regards, we seem to have dug ourselves into such a deep hole that the solutions to the problem (and there are many) are all very complex. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you don't even know which way is up.

That being said, you have to start somewhere. So for the past few years, I've made small adjustments to my lifestyle. For example, using dimmers, replacing bulbs with LED or compact fluorescents, buying appliances with the highest energy rating. The problem, however, is that even though I'm sure these little changes do make a difference, they are dwarfed by the fact that our government is still building gargantuan dams to supply greedy fat Americans (for almost nothing, I might add).

So, I started a recycling program at a summer camp. I gave talks about social and environmental responsibility to young adults as well as showing them how to educate children about nature and human impact. Education is one of the best tools at our disposal, yet you have to be able to put yourself in a position to do so. At the time, I was fortunate to be around lot of young adults and children, so I made the best of it by teaching what I could about the problem.

I've read a lot of books, visited websites, and watched movies about climate change. And after all I've seen and done, there seems to be one habit of mine that really makes the most impact: riding a bike. But I don't feel good about it. The reason is simple. I'm broke. I often wonder: "If I wasn't broke, would I own a car?". It's easy to say no, but then again, who knows. I'm making an impact now by not driving a car, but only by necessity.

Which brings me to the purpose of this post. There's one thing I'm not doing, and neither is anyone I know. It's by far the most elegant way to make an impact. It's also the most effective. I'm talking about planting a tree. It's the best way to reduce CO2, reduce your impact on climate change, reduce the impact of others, reduce pollution and dust, beautify, it will probably outlive me (the way I bike around the city), create habitat for wildlife, and produce fresh air.

My family's cottage up North is surrounded by trees. The ground is covered with saplings of all sorts. The thing is, many of them won't make it to adulthood since competition for space is fierce. So I have an abundance of trees to plant that wouldn't normally make it. I'll be going up in about a month's time.

I'm recruiting my fellow 19ers for two things. First of all to come up North with me, harvest young trees, and maybe plant some around the property. But more importantly, to bring them back to the city. I've decided to do a little guerrilla gardening this Spring, and plant trees around the city in abandoned or unused areas.

So if your interested in dressing up like a ninja and biking around the city equipped with a spade and a bag full of trees, let me know, because I've resolved to do it and could always use the company. Also, start looking for potential spots and coming up with funny explanations to give to the cops when they try to tell you that you're doing something wrong.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

There can be only one

I guess some of you knew I was going to post this. Raspetienne, you need to know this now. There is only one true cheesy saxophonist whose notoriety spans decades.

The original sax footage (embedding was disabled)

And here it is on SNL, twenty years later.

I guess some things just can't be forgotten.


Saturday, March 12, 2011

Excitement She Wrote!

Oh Angela, my muse. You are among the unfortunate victims of the ravages of time. If I could only reverse it's passage and meet you in the monochrome years. The death of your youth is yet another murder that you could never undo.

Morituri te salutant

Quick heads up, Rome Total War is on sale for like 2.50$ on steam.
Normally I wouldn't care enough to mention it but it's one of the best strategy games of all time (of all time!) and at 2.50% it's a steal. I think the other games will go on special this week as well which includes Medieval and Empire (both excellent games in their own right).

Friday, March 11, 2011


The last time Japan suffered this much, I was playing Katamari.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Who wants a PS3?

So I'm lending out my PS3 indefinitely to the first one who asks for it. I'm playing when I should be drawing or reading: two things I can't be doing without right now.

You have less than 24 hours before I stash it with a relative.

I found a new T.V. series I can't ignore

Fuck T.V.

Monday, March 7, 2011


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Since I'm not able to forget the Human Centipede images...

... I thought I'd try to replace them with others.

I think I might be getting somewhere.