Monday, February 28, 2011

The Human Centipede : A discussion

As at least two of us have suffered a significant amount of possibly irreversible psychological damage since our family viewing of last saturday night, I believe it is in order to discuss the subject so as to diminish the load of anguish and distress weighing on our afflicted souls. (its not normal to feel sorry for the toilet every time I take a dump)
First off, I would like to begin this discussion with a brief overview of the history of horror movies, so as to better understand their very essence, and the way normal people react to them. Ever since 'Freaks' came out a while ago, advised cinema goers have approached the theater with a bit of circumspection and probably a bit of mental preparation to better deal with the eventual traumatic images they might be subjected to. The censors made damn sure 'Freaks' could not be seen by anyone for about 30 years, and we can only imagine how many young bourgeois wives of the time have gone blind from the movies images. But as Dr. Frankeinstein said, everything is relative, and one's nightmare might be the wet dream of another. I firmly believe reason already existed back then and that some rational people deemed this censorship totally unacceptable, but they probably didnt tell a damn word against it, from fear of being lynched or be labeled communists or something. I dare say that my 1930's alter ego would have risen against this unabashed attack against arts, but then again my 1930's alter ego probably would have been somewhere in eastern europe listening with tears in his eyes to some eloquent moustached... but I digress.
The censorship of 'Freaks' was a total attack against the arts, because 'Freaks' was an act of Art. It was the result of the sum of the talent of every cameraman, scene technician, director, assistants, the dwarves and all the other inhuman creatures that took part in this beautiful movie. 'Freaks' is now a beautiful film from the past, yet young bourgeois wives of the time went blind from watching it. Why this discrepancy of interpretation? Why do people no longer go blind from watching 'Freaks' ? Because of the continuous desensitization of society towards film. Now said like this, it sounds wrong. But I believe it isnt wrong. Its a good thing to accept a movie as it is, a creation of fiction, and not to judge it on the emotions it conveys, but rather judge it on how effective it is to convey the desired emotions. The goal of a horror movie director is just that, convey horrible emotions to people. Thats why they're called horror movies. So it is with this perspective that I came to believe that Tom Six succeeded in making a very excellent horror movie. You can't judge someone because he liked the experience. Someone who watches a horror movie wants to be terrorized, one who watches a movie like the Exorcist wants to experience fear and other unpleasant emotions that stir him from his otherwise boring existence. A movie is a work of art, and whether its science fiction, fantastic, romantic, or horror, I firmly believe there should be no limits set on how far the fictionist should go. It is true that horror is a particular case of fiction. It disturbs people, and that is often the goal of the director. People who dont understand this shouldnt watch horror movies, or they should only watch the shitty ones, the ones that dont disturb. There should be no limits set on how far the horror should go, although raising the horror bar shouldnt be a goal in itself. What makes the human centipede such a good movie, in my opinion, is not so much how shocking and "sick" it is, but rather comes from its artistic values. And it definitely has some. For instance the images are of excellent quality. I've seen enough movies to know that the director has done very good work with this, overall. And the actors! The performance of Mr. Laser! The script is very inventive.
The idea itself of a human centipede is close to genius! After viewing this movie, one even wonders why he didnt think about it before! One even wonders if he should actually learn the art of surgery so as to make a better human centipede then the one in the movie! After all, there could be more parts inserted! Also, Dr. Heiter's creation is far from perfect! It didnt even survive him! (or at least just the middle part, but still a failure in scientific terms)

Dieter Laser : Horibilus Horibilis

What the hell was I thinking?!
Bringing in the girlfriend right in the middle of the sickest movie of all times?
Although I thought it was quite funny and well made. I'm actually looking forward for the sequel. (but dont mention it to the girlfriend! I've already lost the equivalent of 2 years of romantic points)

Also, after our little family viewing, now everytime I go take a dump, I cant help but feel a considerable amount of sorryness. Am I the only one with psychological sequelae?

Friday, February 25, 2011

Too Far?

So I was playing an online game of Transformers: War for Cybertron today with a fellow blogger when something happened.

I think the term is "shell shock"? I ended up getting the shakes, then completely giving up out of mental exhaustion.

It was one of the most satisfying online experiences of my life and I'm having a hard time reconciling with the real world now.

But then again... can you blame me?

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Impressive Montenegran

I'd like to see him debate Harper.

You pussies can join his fanclub here.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Cant wait to see this movie! (I dont get the not science fiction part though...)

U gotta admit it definitely has some entertainment value...
Just like America's Army had. That game is still the best war game I ever played... (not the new version, the old one, that was out in 2002 or something)

+ its paid for by the Pentagon!

You gotta feel sorry for those poor uneducated american kids though... NOT.

If you're stupid enough to fall for this shit, then you're meant to be a marine.

Star Wars: Porkins' Deadly Fart

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Friday, February 18, 2011

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Know your enemy

I think that it could be democratic to not allow these crazies to go near parliament at all if you expose the fact that they typically leave all rational thought processes at the door. Or do we just draw the line at people who are physically retarded? I mean it. Can a mentally handicapped person become a member of the house of commons? How about a child or monkey?

Saturday, February 12, 2011

The day I became a MMOGamer.

It looks cool as fuck.
Especially if they bring in lego mechanics. Crickey. The possibilities are endless!!

Friday, February 11, 2011

We have to rent these movies

At the very least the heavy metal one with the puppets.
Oh lawdy.

Thursday, February 10, 2011


Found these at the dep next to my place. How is it that a dump like my dep has limited edition AppleJacks? And limited edition from what year? I feel like they were found in some lost luggage from 1984.

I didn't buy them. They looked gross then, and they look gross now.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Since we're on the subject...

Steam Passes

Just a quick heads up, when I bought Monkey Island 2 special edition I got a free copy of MI1 and since I already own the game I figured I'd give it away to one of you fuckers.
It's PC only, requires a P4 3ghz or better processor, 256mb ram and a dedicated video card with at least 128MB and Shader 2.0 (basically any card built after 2004) mostly because they redid all the graphics and music (though you can switch back to the original mode on the fly if you want). They also added voices to the game (which you can turn off if you want) and fixed some minor bugs.
If none of these things interest you then you can probably just run the original in ScummVM (which has a certain cache as well).