Friday, October 31, 2008

Its all in a day's work for the lebtalian team.

Today I learned a lesson.
Well I already had learned it before but today I got one helluva good demonstration that this very lesson is damn right in its moral.
As I was riding down Rachel bike path for the 603rd time this year, on this beautiful halloween day, I saw, would you believe it? something blocking the way.
Stopped in the middle of the path, emitting poison in the air, its cowardly and slimy occupants well encased in it, the very scourge of the earth, a car. So I continued my way and stopped right before I'd hit it, in such a way to render its abhorrent driver a little nervous, as I should. Then, of course, I slammed the rear of it with my hand, so to express my frustration and my will to fight and obliterate those machines of destruction, as is my most noble right.
Well never before had I seen a slimy human becoming so agitated in its seat.
He got so excited that he forgot to roll down the window enough to let his drawn major come outside. He was yelling beginnings of sentences abruptly interrupted by other beginning of sentences ("Mon cr...Fuck y...Osti d'ca..fuck...Esti.")
Anyways. It made my day. It really did! As I was watching him with satisfaction, it seems it made him even more crazy. Unfortunately he did not come out of his car. I would have most certainly won the fight, because of my calm and my unfaltering will to win the war against cars.
Lesson is: keep your calm, at all cost, or else you'll look like a total jerk. And dont drive cars. And go to school. But on bike. If you cant, walk. Or stay home.

He's back.

"Legendary B-movie actor Bruce Campbell plays himself in the new film MY NAME IS BRUCE, which opens theatrically on October 31 in New York. MY NAME IS BRUCE doesn’t have a standard issue release date because we’re doing something for the film that doesn’t seem to be done anymore. Campbell is traveling to every opening city to be at the opening theatre for the first night or two. As such, Bruce is working his way across the country between November and December, in a new city every few days. (Who else nowadays goes on a two month PA tour?) The movie’s opening in a given market is predicated on Bruce’s travel to that city. As examples, after New York, the film opens in Boston on November 5, in Detroit November 21, in Chicago November 28 and winds up in Los Angeles on December 19. Ultimately, the film will play in about 15 markets."

Nerdlord's BFF?

This Craigslist ad has being doing the internet bike rounds. I thought the author of said advertisement would make a great companion for Nerdlord. You decide.

Manly Bike for Sale

Date: 2008-07-22, 10:18AM PDT

Bike for sale

What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME".

The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.

The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.

The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything.

I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:

Gear 1 - Sissy Gear
Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 - Boy Gear
Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 - Manly Gear
Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear

I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.

Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't fuck around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey asshole, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four".

Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices)

Thursday, October 30, 2008


Ever wondered what it's like to bee strapped to a missile? Me neither.

I hope you guys are ready!

This is what it looked like in Ste-Agathe-Des-Monts this morning.

I'm not quite sure I'm ready for this. I mean, I might not have enjoyed my summer to the fullest, ya know? Sure I went sailing all the time, hung out on the beach every day, went canoeing, built campsites, lived in the woods, set my own schedule, ummm... well actually, I guess I'm ready. It just better happen gradually.

The price of fame

Golfer John Daly detained after passing out drunk at Hooters

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Bicycle Physics part 2

In order to avoid further torn ankles or flipping over your handlebars, please dress like this and ride featured speed demon.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Bicycle physics

Exhibit A: blocked front wheel fall (notice the flip to the front)

Exhibit B: Blocked rear wheel fall (notice the flip to the side)

XXXtreme Bicycles and Music

I could'nt believe it when I heard the music on this one.

Or this one made me think of Star Wars and those air-sleds or whatever you call them mixed in with Ewoks:

But then the music made me want to take some codeine and cup my genitals whilst curled up into a ball.

This is the first one I could find that had decent music. Also, please note that this is remake by a youtube amateur!

But still, have they previously used up all of Slayer's songs? I mean, would not that be the music that would be most apropos?

I mean, c'mon!

Monday, October 27, 2008


Maybe this will soothe your bike fears. Of course, it might also make you go out and purchase a freeride bike. It may also make you move to BC

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Fix Gear Horror

The scope of the atrocity described in the following sentences could only be grasped by my fellow fix gear hipster friends. Consider yourself lucky if you cannot fully understand it.
As I was riding full speed on the parc maisonneuve cycle track, I passed an old man and two more dead obstacles and then saw arriving, at near speed of light, the exit I intended to take. Having lately mastered the gnarly and hip art of skidding, I decided to show off to the watching passerbyes my hipster abilities and skills.
Following Sicko's teaching, I leaned forward and extended my right leg. As my body started to be lift up by the rotary motion of the pedal, I pulled as hard as I could with my left foot, creating a momentum that exerted enough force to overcome the friction of the backwheel. It is at this precise moment that my chain came off the ring. With close to 100% of the lebtalian team's weight resting on the pedal, and said pedal not resting on anything at all, my cyclist equilibrium was compromised. My right foot resting on the pedal slid on the side of it, with the inside of the ankle scrapping the metal object with the full force potential of the skid motion.
I fell to the ground in disbelief, holding on to the bruised limb.
If this had happened on sherbrooke where I was minutes earlier, skidding in front of cars and trucks, no doubt I would have ended up with more than an open ankle.
My trust in Eduardo and the whole fix gear community has been completely removed. Good thing winter's coming, I'm taking the bus.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

And the tubes, they are a gettin' weirder

Too Far

This cycling thing is out of control. Its like a disease.

Friday, October 24, 2008

I really don't know what to make of this.

I totally want to do acid and buy a talking hot dog now.


For some reason I can't place the song... it seems like a super slowed down version of a Black Sabbath song.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Some Contemporary Facts

Les inégalités de revenus se sont creusées au cours des 20 dernières années dans la plupart des pays développés, ce qui se traduit par un accroissement de la pauvreté des enfants.

Le rapport de l'Organisation de coopération et de développement économiques (OCDE), publié mardi, indique que le Canada est parmi les pays - avec l'Allemagne, la Norvège, les États-Unis, l'Italie et la Finlande - où l'écart entre les riches et les pauvres a sensiblement augmenté depuis 2000.

Le rapport de l'OCDE, qui regroupe les gouvernements de 30 paysattachés aux principes de la démocratie et de l'économie de marché, indique aussi que la croissance économique des 20 dernières années aura davantage profité aux riches qu'aux pauvres.

Pourquoi l'écart se creuse-t-il entre riches et pauvres?

Les salaires des personnes qui étaient déjà bien payées ont augmenté

Les taux d'emploi des personnes ayant un moins bon niveau d'instruction ont baissé

Le nombre de ménages comprenant un adulte et une seule famille est en augmentation

Selon l'Organisation, « le risque de pauvreté s'est déplacé des personnes âgées vers les enfants et les jeunes adultes ».

Pauvreté: Il y a pauvreté lorsque chaque membre d'un ménage a un revenu inférieur à la moitié du revenu médian. (Source: OCDE)

Et le Canada - avec l'Allemagne, la République tchèque et la Nouvelle-Zélande - est un des pays où la pauvreté des enfants a le plus augmenté en 20 ans, a indiqué Michael Förster, un des auteurs du rapport, lors d'une conférence de presse, mardi.

Pour en savoir plus

Lisez notre entrevue avec Alain Noël, professeur au Département de science politique de l'Université de Montréal, au sujet de la situation au Canada.
Faits saillants au Canada

Au cours des 10 dernières années au Canada, les riches se sont enrichis, en laissant derrière la classe moyenne et les plus pauvres.

Le revenu moyen de 10 % des plus riches au pays est de 71 000 $US, en parité de pouvoir d'achat, ce qui est un tiers de plus que dans les autres pays de l'OCDE, où il n'atteint que 54 000 $US.

20 % de l'augmentation de l'inégalité des revenus est liée à l'âge et à la structure des ménages de la population canadienne.
L'inégalité des revenus des ménages a augmenté au pays.

Le Canada dépense moins en prestations sociales, comme l'assurance-emploi ou encore l'aide aux familles, que la plupart des autres pays membres de l'OCDE.

Au cours des 10 dernières années, la pauvreté a augmenté dans tous les groupes d'âge

Le taux de pauvreté des personnes âgées est de seulement 6 %, alors qu'il atteint 15 % chez les enfants vivant dans la pauvreté.

Si des Canadiens deviennent pauvres, ils le demeureront plus longtemps que dans les autres pays.

Bien que le taux de pauvreté soit élevé, la situation des ménages est quand même moins difficile que dans les autres pays.

La mobilité sociale est plus élevée au Canada que dans les autres pays. Les enfants de parents pauvres ont des chances raisonnables de devenir riches

Here's a little something to cheer you up:

Fixed Gear Tricks

Thank you to Bike Snob NYC


So you're out in the rain. You're not really getting wet but you find the wind kind of menacing.  Though more practical than wearing a wheel-barrel for a helmet, the use of an umbrella isn't really your most well sought out solution, now is it?


What the fuck kind of neighbourhood does this guy live in?!?!

Monday, October 20, 2008


Get your own knuckles at the knuckle tattoo gun.

and for those who don't appreciate my brand of nihilism:

Get your own knuckles at the knuckle tattoo gun.

I have a

Get your own knuckles at the knuckle tattoo gun.
Get your own knuckles at the knuckle tattoo gun.


Get your own knuckles at the knuckle tattoo gun.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

I lived a childhood dream

One of the only good things to have come out of the early nineties.

For at least a decade, I was convinced that Evil Elvis had reached his fat Elvis stage. I was convinced that I would never get to see a live event similar to that In the Mother 93 video (yes, that was 15 years ago). But I was there, up front at the fence, rockin' out with glenn in a small concert hall. And he made sure to sing the old stuff. His voice was as good as ever, too. I forgot for a moment that this was 2008 and that I wasn't 13. Last night, a man in his fifties reminded me that you're never too old to revel in self destruction.

Oh yeah, and I got my nose slightly broken by a reverse head butt when these guys were on.

And consumed more alcohol than I ever thought possible without tipping over.

All in all, one of the greatest and wildest nights. Not bad for an impromptu evening. This is luck paying me back for that botched Guns n' Metallica concert I went to in '92.  :-)

I've always been a fan of this song, but this video just kicks it up a few thousand notches.

Which naturally lead me to this. Oh, and I believe we need it together:

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Fixies 'R' for Chumps!

Why have I been wasting my time?

Just joking. You'll notice that the ''trials'' bike has no seat! And he must be ever so slow when getting around town...

Ben Weider: Dead

He was a Jewish businessman from Montreal well-known in two areas: Bodybuilding and Napoleonic history. I hear that through the fortune he spent on studying Napoleon he demonstrated that Bonerpants was poisoned whilst he was imprisonned.

Hey Dildo

What's the name of the vampire movie you were talking about last night?

PS: You "R" Gay for gazing into Brad Pitt's eyes the way you just did.

Friday, October 17, 2008

So tired.....

I have been totally unable to keep my eyes open during the day for a long time now. I think I may have discovered why. Considering I have two of these things, I mustn't sleep a wink.

new blog

I found a new blog that might rival ours (well the way ours used to be). I thought it would take some sausage out of your lives, and replace it with sprinkles and frosting!

check it out. the older posts are better. i especially like the grammatical errors on cake section.

here's some vagine for youz

Thursday, October 16, 2008

I'm back.

Now THIS is my kind of ad. I love it.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Lettuce Party!

Yes, my friends, a lettuce party. Well, not quite, but compared to the sausage fest of the blog, it's a close enough analogy.

This Saturday. 18.10.2008

Jupiter Room, 3874 St-Laurent

This a party for my gf Pasquale, her sisters Dominik and Mary-Clear, as well as Pasquale's friend Sofa.

So yeah, compared to last Saturday, it should be a little somthing like this:

And yes, I got this picture by googleimagin 'lettuce party'. And yes, I did crop it.

I've had it!!!!

Ok, here the deal... Somehow, my entire life has transformed itself into one big sausage party. All I ever see is guys. Guy, guys guys. So I decide to escape to the virtual world where I figure I can keep in touch with some girls I know, right? Wrong. Nobody uses Facebook anymore and the the blog is... well... the equivalent to three big guys in a small bathtub using Dildo T Baggins as the soap.

So I'm taking a break from the blog. I'm gonna give socializing in the real world a try even though I live and work out of my apartment. (sigh)

I'm screwed,


Monday, October 13, 2008

Go on, read his lips.

What I think about terrorists is that yeah, they can blow themselves up along with their victims, in the way of the low grade kamikaze, but they dont have women to back them up if they need to get driven somewhere. Yet they still have the advantage on us. Now I intended to say something clever here but then, while trying to back it up with a cool picture of a terrorist, I fell on Ali. And then I forgot about the clever thing. And then I forgot about Ali. Ah well, I guess these sort of things are normal these days.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Has anyone ever explored this place?

'Cause I wanna go!

Now with zoom:

Its a train yard!

So Bonerpants is right.

That bike path parallel to the tracks is one fantastic piece of bike path real estate, especially at night. Combined with appropriately creepy music it's absolutely fantastic. Problem is it finishes on St-Laurent so I didn't know what direction I was headed and managed to find myself back at nerdlord's... I need a compass.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Monday, October 6, 2008

I was going to make one of these for Halloween.

... but then I though, why just for Halloween? Why must I have a special reason to wear a mask such as this?


I don't want to make another post for this:


Dear Suckers: Laterz!

I'm off on a week-long bikeventure.

---My Gift To Woody Esplanade---

The Entrée

The Soup

The Main Course



Saturday, October 4, 2008

Impulse buy in the middle of exam week?

How foolish!

Or how brilliant?

It's sitting there in its box taunting me while I try to power through the last 3 chapters in preparation of my midterm on Monday. Fuck you fantastic deals, fuck you.

Friday, October 3, 2008

My gift to you.

Here's for your entrée.

what? Oh! I'm sorry, wrong table.

Here. I believe this is what you ordered.

and for main course...

She Hulk
Uploaded by kinggym


A love letter to Woody.

Your entrée (girls like unicorns right?)

Your soup du jour:

Your Main Course:

The cheese platter:

And for desert:

And as a special bonus:

i miss youze guys. come visit CALISSE.

and please make some girlier posts. it's becoming unbearable to read about your Risk 2010 adventures and transformer building programs.

My little pony, for example.

PS: I'm in class right now trying to kill time.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

WOW, Palin didnt break down and cry! She was so good! She didnt even crap her pants! She really won that debate!

So, Gov. Palin, how would you address the issue of climate change?

Drill Drill, coal, coal, drill drill and then more coal!

Harper, the Neo-Conman

Sorry about the few seconds of Liberal party propaganda. This is still a pretty cool video. I love it when they are almost synced!

And some people might argue that it was speach writer's fault for copying and that he did it without Harper's consent. This is a good point. Until you take into account that one of Harper's main campaign points is his leadership. If he's such a great leader, doesn't that make him at least somewhat responsible for his team's actions? Isn't that what leadership is about?

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Who's watching the debate tomorrow? Not the Canadian one you idiot, the PALIN debate! YEEEAHHH!!!

Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, August 31, 2008; Page A04

CHICAGO -- The American Petroleum Institute and four other business groups filed suit Thursday against Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne and U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service Director H. Dale Hall, joining Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's administration in trying to reverse the listing of the polar bear as a threatened species.
On Aug. 4, the state of Alaska filed a lawsuit opposing the polar bear's listing, arguing that populations as a whole are stable and that melting sea ice does not pose an imminent threat to their survival.

Thats right people! thats our Palin suing none other than George Dubya for being environmental! GO PALIN!!!


Hey Bonerpants....

Keep your eye on the clown...

Maybe I should get you a stuffed poodle named Parsley for your birthday. If you should die before you wake.....