Thursday, July 31, 2008

if you needed a reason to go see Iggy & The Stooges this weekend...

well, first of all, they fucking rule, so... and that should be enough of a reason, but also, they have the most hilarious rider ever!!!

check this out!!

but, yeah.... it's at osheaga, which sucks and is like 1 000 000$...

The Devastator (production still)


They're old. Who cares. The night's gonna be a whiskey-a-go-go.

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008. Metropolis. Be there or never have been alive.

Perhaps indirectly, wikipedia, through its rubrique on Sturn und Drang defines Mötorhead best :

''The ideals of rationalism, empiricism, and universalism traditionally associated with the Enlightenment were combated by an emerging notion that the reality constructed in the wake of this monumental change in values was not an adequate reflection of the human experience and that a revolutionary restatement was necessary to fully convey the extremes of inner pain and torment, and the reality that personal motivations consist of a balance between the pure and impure.'' To illustrate this, I believe playing their über song, ''Ace of Spades'' is in order:

If that's not enough for ya, Hillary Duff's sister, Haylie is up with Mötorhead, so there.

I'll be ordering tickets any day now, so let me know if you want in. I guarantee a good time. Memories of it aren't included in the guarantee.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I never wanted to become an asshole. Unfortunately, I became a cyclist (General Bonerpant’s unpopular monthly commentary)

I know the old argument. There are assholes everywhere. I’ve come to realize, though, that cycling is somewhat of an asshole magnet. Imagine being “allowed” to ignore traffic laws, to have the right of way over everyone else and to never receive blame for your actions. What rapacious asshole wouldn’t like that? Sure, lots of drivers are pushy egomaniacs but they’re the Denis Leary type of asshole. The one that proudly wears his ignoble trait like a badge. A cyclist asshole, however, wallows in a kind of self-righteousness often attributed to the so-called eco-asshole. Hey! You know what likes the smell of its own farts? An asshole.

So yes, Critical Mass may be a movement of social consciousness, but again, how could an asshole not be drawn to that? It’s a legitimate opportunity to freely express your assholeness to the rest of the world! Don’t tell me that the pleasure of pissing off a bunch of drivers is solely derived from an eager desire for a better world. And would it really be a better world if everybody were to ride bicycles? I’ve seen bike traffic. The chaos is only beginning.

So as a big fuck you to the asshole cyclists who make me a target for antagonism every time I slap on a helmet, I will make an effort to be a civil cyclist. My goal is to obey traffic signs unless it is retardedly unnecessary. I will still outrun the majority of people who don’t make their stops as that has been my experience thus far. I will be nice to pedestrians, drivers and cyclists alike. As a tradeoff, if I am yelled at for something that is not my fault, I will get off my bike and retort to the extent of which my personal sense of courtesy will allow at that specific time. This should be a welcome change to the common asshole maneuver of quietly ignoring all interjectors and speeding along.

Speaking O' Bikes

Check this video out:

No comment on Critical Masses, but can you believe the cop claimed that the cyclist drove his bicycle directly into him, knocking the cop to the ground and causing "lacerations on deponent's forearm."

Busted! The cop's in deep shit now.

For those who care, here's some more info.

I believe this is more of a New York thing, what with everyone, including the cops, being so aggressive.

And thanks to Bikesnob for sharing the story.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Boneration for Bikes?


First Paris, now us. There's even a contest to find the name!

The only question is, ''Will this affect me in any way?''

Shit, I just realized the answer is: more retards in my way. Behhh, better a retard on a bike than a retard in a car.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Seen at School

This made me giggle the other night.

Friday, July 25, 2008

My emergency brake is just not working. At all.

17:02 - The Bianchi-Salem Team finally exits out of the Sun Circus and makes it's entry into the race. The clock is ticking but the Team remains calm while Emile unlocks Edoardo and they prepare to propel themselves towards total road freedom and domination.

17:04 - Lebtalian team passes below highway 40 and jumps into the urban street maze.

17:05 - First opponent sighted, 40 meters ahead. Our team picks up the pace. Bianchi demands more power but the lebanese engine knows it wont be necessary to pass the hipster wimp.

17:05:04 - Orange Fluo Track Bike Hipster Wimp catches a glimpse of the lebtalian team passing him by at death defying speed. He clearly is offended and tries to catch up.

17:05:34 - Orange Fluo Wimp loses sight of Bianchi team, gives up and sits back down on his seat, realizing the engine on the opposent's team was sitting all the while. First victory of the race.

17:06:32 - Lebtalian team stops at red light and witnesses Minelli-Sleazy ass opponent team fully stabilized with front wheel at 45 degree, not moving at all.

17:06:34 - Lebtalian team thinks it should try to master this skill.

17:06:51 - Red light turns green. While being awed by the opponents inertia skills, Bianchi and Salem are not impressed by his low-powered acceleration and leave him far behind.

17:08 - Catching them by surprise, the Minelli-Sleazy ass opponent tries to pass the Bianchi-Salem team to its right! Accepting the challenge, Bianchi-Salem lashes out full throttle and the hummus fuelled lebanese engine gives out a roaring sound of fury, while the surrounding atmosphere fills with particles of partial extra-garlic hummus combustion.

17:08:14 - Sleazy-ass sits the fuck back down and disappears from the Team's field of vision. The Italian frame asks for a proper taunting of the loser but Lebanese driver remains dignified.

17:13 - Team arrives home. Driver-engine thinks to himself: "I thought I was a competitive asshole, but that bike is even worse than me... sure is a beaut though!"

All Nighter

I just pulled a Napoleon Bonerpants!

Woe is me.

; ) to Nerdlord of the NES

Also, wallball fritag after work? Nerdlord and Syco are already in.

Weather for friday evenink:

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Looking for a Good Time?

I got wind of this thing called urban exploration. Nothing really new, nothing we haven't done before. We just didn't have a name for it.

Anyways, it got me going, man. Saturday evening anyone?

Here's Urban Exploration Montreal

"Rickety ladder", Canada Malt Plant


"The Canada Malt Plant is the only abandoned building in Montreal that can compete with the O’Keefe Brewery in terms of sheer size and decay. It is also one of the city’s most notorious abandoned spots, thus making it a very popular destination for beginning explorers, graffiti artists, and even for some families who like to have picnics on the grounds"

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Hipsters & the Bike.

Dear Sheldon Brown,

I've just finished washing and waxing my fixed gear bike for the second time this week so I know you can hear me. First of all, I want you to know how sorry I am for scorning you and my fixed gear obsessed friends the last few months. I thought they had unwarily fallen into the hype trap, and did not want to condescend with taking part in their pathetic display of attention seeking cooler-than-thou attitude so common with aging underachievers. Dear Sheldon, I really hate hype. Don’t ask me why, I think it goes back to my anti-gregarious killer instincts, probably packaged in with the Mesopotamian genes. Anyways, I got me a fixed gear bike. I got it mainly because of the combined pressure of my peers and the fact that my derailleur broke down and I did not want to pay me another one. But Mr. Brown, my bicycle has now taken over about 85% of my random access memory, and the idea of riding it pops up in my head about 3 times per every minute of the day. And today I even catch myself looking down every other bike and since the hype has not stricken the east yet, I was satisfied with owning the best one of all St-Michel Rosemont. Dear Sheldon, I’m afraid to turn into a hipster and I want you to help me out of this mess. I was thinking of starting to abuse steroids and grow a He-Man pompadour but scanning the net today I found out the hipsters have even annexed that style! (not the steroids, the pompadour). Please Mr Brown hear this prayer and answer quickly.

On another subject, I should like to share with you this trick I learned today. It consists of eating an overstuffed sandwich without losing any of the precious tasty stuff: Use your front teeth to cut through the sandwich while simultaneously applying pressure with your fingers so as to stop the sandwich inners from spreading out. It works!

I Feel Like a Teenager Again!

So psyched for this!

Although getting exited about giving money to an already absurdly rich band (whose previous album sucked) and thus feeding Corporate Rock (that still sucks!) is making me feel like I'm a U2 fan. You know, one of those drones that only seems able to enjoy things if they were forced on them by the System aka The Man aka Babylon.

But once in a while, it's ok to take the blue pill!

Here's the guitar hero stuff:

''"Death Magnetic," the entire album, available for Guitar Hero too!

It's a first in both music and gaming . . . the same day that "Death Magnetic" hits the streets, you'll be able to download every song from the album for "Guitar Hero III!" We are so psyched that we'll be the first out of the gate with this simultaneous release . . . who knows, maybe a few years from now this will be the norm when your favorite band's new record comes out.

And for those of you who are anxiously awaiting the next Guitar Hero, "World Tour," we're ready for that too . . . you will be able to experience "Death Magnetic" for drums, vocals, and guitar when that game emerges this Fall.

Keep watching here for the where, when, and how stuff . . .''

Listening party, anyone?

Monday, July 21, 2008

More Bands, More No Sex!


Yes, that's Brother Metal in Italian. Yes, that's a Capucin brother.

I wonder what the Pope thinks of all this.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

The real No Sex Band

bonus points for figuring out the source of the music without checking the video's title.

this one is still my favorite. Mainly because you can tell nobody else wants to play the song anymore except the guitarist who's being a dick.

Also, I'll be heading out to Batman today. I haven't figured out if I'll be doing the imax thing at 7pm or the standard movie experience at 8:30. I have a Fantasia movie at 12:00 (appropriately called midnight meat train) so my time slots are limited by the fact that this is a 2.5 hour movie... Anyways, if anyone desires to have their face melted by an awesome movie call me on my cell.

Friday, July 18, 2008

fuck all of you fuckers for not visiting me yet fuck.

ps: i'm drunk

pps: i love you

Thursday, July 17, 2008

ok i think i'm ready to come home now...

If I hear them say EYE-RAQ one more time...

I don't know if this is going to be any good, but it's a teen movie and I'm a sucker for teen movies. Oh, and in the preview, at the end, there is a really uncomfortable moment when a guy goes to a girl: "There's grease on the table /pause\ because I put my face on it."

How, pray tell, could you not want to see a movie like that? Oh, and I haven't bothered to do ANY research on the movie, so yeah.

Send an email to these guise if ya want some free tiks:

I did.

Lastly, the accompanying picture's only relation to the movie is that it should up when I googleimaged 'American Teen'. That is all.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Don't You Know Art, Asshole!

Surely, that line is the best part of the video, is it not?

Trust me when I say I'll be using it often these days.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

News Flash!

I think Woody's NOT in Seattle and is actually stalking me!

Peep this...

And, while I did not think it possible, she became an even bigger loser by getting a spoiler!

Now for a Little More Sex


But now that it's over, is this bordering on the ridiculous or ridiculously borderline? Or just plain NO!/YES!

The article, for those of you who read Portuguese.

Monday, July 14, 2008

... and finally : The No Sex Band

(only if you dont have a penis nor a vagina, the only way to attain true jazzmanship)

My favorite Grindcore Band.

My Favorite Metal Band.

Tips for Life

Hey Woody!

I read about the new way of stealing gas and I thought of you. Here goes:

1. Steal licence plate off of another car.
2. Put it over your own.
3. Go to gas station.
4. Fill up.
5. Drive off.
6. Ditch stolen licence plate.

Or you can do this:

courtsey of mayanator...

Sunday, July 13, 2008

no internet for you!!!

Canadian ISPs Plan Net Censorship

Concerns grow that Canada's plan will wipeout alt news sites and spread to U.S.

By Mike Finch

A net-neutrality activist group has uncovered plans for the demise of the free Internet by 2010 in Canada. By 2012, the group says, the trend will be global.
Bell Canada and TELUS, Canada’s two largest Internet service providers (ISPs), will begin charging per-site fees on most Internet sites, reports anonymous sources within TELUS.
“It's beyond censorship, it is killing the biggest ecosystem of free expression and freedom of speech that has ever existed,” I Power spokesperson Reese Leysen said. I Power was the first group to report on the possible changes.
Bell Canada has not returned calls or emails.
The plans made by the large telecom businesses would change the Internet into a cable-like system, where customers sign up for specific web sites, and must pay to see each individual site beyond a certain point. Subscription browsing would be limited, extra fees would be applied to access out-of-network sites. Many sites would be blocked altogether.
“We had inside sources from bigger companies who gave us the information on how exclusivity deals are being made at this moment between ISPs and big content providers (like TV production studios and major video game publishers) to decide which web sites will be in the ‘standard package’ offered to their customers, leaving all the rest of the Internet unreachable unless you pay extra subscription fees per every ‘non-standard’ site you visit,” Leysen said. “We knew the source to be 100% reliable, but we also knew the story would be highly controversial if we released the information. We did it because we knew that we’d get more official confirmations once we’d come forward with it. And indeed that is what happened. Dylan Pattyn, who is writing the soon-to-be published article for Time Magazine, received confirmation from sources within Bell Canada and TELUS after we released the information.”
The plans would in effect be economic censorship, with only the top 100 to 200 sites making the cut in the initial subscription package. Such plans would likely favor major news outlets and suppress smaller news outlets, as the major news outlets would be free (with subscription), and alternative news outlets, like AFP, would incur a fee for every visit.
“The Internet will become a playground for billion-dollar content providers just like television is,” said Leysen. “It won’t be possible for a few teenagers in their parents’ basement to start a small site like E-bay that then grows out to be the next big thing anymore. Right now the Internet belongs to those with the greatest ideas. In the future, it’ll belong to those with the biggest budgets.”
With plans in Canada uncovered, I Power thinks that companies in the United States and other nations are also planning similar actions.
“By 2012 ISPs all over the globe will reduce Internet access to a TV-like subscription model, only offering access to a small standard amount of commercial sites and require extra fees for every other site you visit. These ‘other’ sites would then lose all their exposure and eventually shut down, resulting in what could be seen as the end of the Internet,” Leysen said.
Such a subscription plan could possibly restrict free speech far beyond even the current restrictions set by the governments of communist China. Not only would browsing be limited, but privacy would be invaded, as every web site viewed would likely be recorded on a bill in a manner similar to a phone bill.
Why would the ISPs institute such a plan? One word: money.
“This new subscription model is commercially far more beneficial to them than how it is now,” Leysen said. “If Fox wants to launch a new television show online, they’ll have to pay big money to all major ISPs to ensure that their new show will be offered and pushed in the ‘standard package’ of sites/services/channels that people will get through their Internet access. Plus ISPs will also gain extra revenue out of people trying to access the rest of the Internet, as they’ll pay extra subscription fees for every web site they visit.”
But it’s not just the big ISPs that stand to gain.
“Marketing and big budget ‘content-pushing’ just doesn’t seem to work on the Internet, and this is something that several industries want fixed. ISPs know this and will benefit greatly by fixing this for the marketing and entertainment industry,” Leysen said.
The ISPs are said to be confident they can institute such plans through deceptive marketing and fear tactics.
“The Internet will be more and more marketed as a place full of child pornography and other horrible illegal activity in order to get people on their [the ISP’s] side once they start restricting it and make it ‘safer,’” Leysen said. “Unless we really make a stand for this and make sure that mainstream media thoroughly covers the issue, the whole thing will be eased in with proper marketing to make sure that most mainstream customers won’t make a big deal out of it. They will only realize what was lost long after it’s gone.”
For more information about this story see
For more information about Internet freedom:

Common Decency Dictated It

Classic line, from a classic movie. Thanks to Dildo for reminding me of it and for reminding me of the existence of youtube. Pure gold, I have to see your friends and neigbours again. Sorry, neighbors.

Saturday, July 12, 2008


Have you seen this guy?

He's the super villain who killed Superman.

(what follows is an excerpt from his Majesty the King of The Universe, Bruce Campbell himself, ranting about his favorite heroe)

"(...) Another reason for Lobo's downfall was that it was too over-the top violent. Nowadays everyone is fragging obsessed with realistic action. Frag that. If I wanted to see realistic action, I'd punch a body-builder in the face like a real man. People didn't want to watch cartoony but gorey and bloody action. It made the average person's (ie. a moron) head explode because it's a fragging paradox.

Plus those elitist arsehool's thought it was too immature and childish. Well, first off, poopoo pants, Lobo worked as satire. Satire is just a loop-hole to justify lazy-concepting. I use it all the time. That way me/Lobo could be as stupid and moronic as we wanted, and still appeal to mass audiences and still be quality products. Frag yeah.

They should make a movie about Lobo - it would be like this. The movie begins and this guy (played by Bruce Campbell) would come in to this dark strip-joint and ask for Lobo's help (Lobo would be played by Henry Rollins). He needs Lobo to catch this guy, and he'll pay him anything to do it. The next two hours would just be Lobo killing and swearing (but his swear words are frag and bastich and stuff) at random aliens. He would also blow things up and have sex with girls for no reasons. It would literally write itself.
So frag Hulk and Batman. Adapt a real comic book for once. This boring and lame world needs the over-the-top and crazy action seen in Lobo's universe. Frag those snot-nosed bratz, and make a real movie for those who need it. Plus let's not forget that Lobo just kicks fucking ass and a movie about him would become an instant cult classic. Frag yeah'."

Friday, July 11, 2008

Da Sex Pistols wAs Da FirSt PunK BaND

- No you idiot. The Clash were there first.

- What the fuck you goddamn ignorant bastard, everyone knows without the Ramones there would have been none of it!

- Get a Bran you Moran, the Stooges were the first Punk Band.

- Then why did they open for the MC5 then, duhhh???

- MUUUAHAHAHAHAHA.... You kids have no idea! Punk Rock goes back all the way to 1964 it does! Back when the Sonics would play their music in the wilderness, and even getting banned from there forest, where they were blamed for killing trees! Tis true!
And you can lay to that!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Thank you Global Metal

For reminding me of Japan's continuous onslaught on our senses.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

gotta love it...

So I went to this beautiful spot call Snoqualmie Falls. It was peaceful and lovely and where they shot the opening credits to Twin Peaks... You had to hike down a pretty treacherous path to get to the spot where these pics were taken. The first one is to show you how beautiful it is, the second to introduce you to mr. douche.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Angry Albert!

I know Napoleon went to camp this weekend, I wonder if he riled up Al...

For Caca Machine Fans

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Vive le caca libre!

Choisi bien les aliments que tu vas faire manger à ta machine si tu veux faire un beau caca!

Machine à caca!

Friday, July 4, 2008

Dear Pot-Heads

This pot song's for you...just 'cause you make me laugh pot and this pot song made me think of pot you, pot thus making me laugh. Pot.

By this guy, Richie "At times I beg it, sometimes I steal it" Spice

I guess that pot for me is the only humourous "addiction". I have all these images dancing in my head.

Floyd smoking the toilet paper.

Or those first times when my friends had those happy red chinese eyes...

And now for something completely different...

Here's my shortlist for this year's Fantasia Festival (opening night was tonight). It's horror heavy for me this year (and the festival itself is light on anything animation related albeit with a few exceptions). If anyone is interested in seeing any these movies let me know, I'll try to see them all, money and time permitting although some are higher priority than others (main meat train, dance, sukiyaki, rec, batman, timecrimes, the rebel and mandy lane).

Dance of the Dead
Sukiyaki Western Django (Tarantino has a hand it in, so expect it to be derivative and violent).
batman: gothic knight I think someone posted a link to this a while back. think animatrix but for batman.
Machine Girl. Buckets of gore and lots of fan service. how can you go wrong? This is a movie where a crowd to laugh along with is a must.
[rec]hands down one of the best zombie movies in the passed few years. it hasn't really screened much in north america but it managed to nab a 91% rotten tomatoes rating and a sequel is already in the works. there's also a sure to be horribly butchered american version coming next year sometime.
Timecrimes it's won a bunch of awards in small film festivals all over the place and cronenburg is planning a remake. the buzz is this is a must see movie.
DJ XL5's Hellzapoppin Zappin’ Party is supposed to be a fun if somewhat bizarre string of shorts.
All the boys love mandy lane "Takes us back to the old days when horror movies were at the cutting edge of artistic exploration. Fans of traditional slashers will love this film, but so will a lot of people who wouldn't normally touch them" according to one reviewer.
The Rebel basically a vietnamese period piece martial arts movie. it's supposed to be vietnam's response to ong bak but with a stronger artistic drive and better camera work.
From Within the theme of the movie seems somewhat ham-handedly goes for a whole intolerence bent but it's supposed to be genuinely creepy and surprisingly well acted.
Who is KK downey? is an indie movie about two wannabe hipsters who go to extremes to make their name. All i know is that it's a darling of some of the indie circuits and apparently one of the funniest movies of the year.
Babysitter Wanted is vaunted as being a genuinely good take on the whole babysitter slasher horror movie. Well acted and well directed without all the usual cheese you'd expect from the genre.
Midnight Meat Train a slasher movie starring vinnie jones? Fuck yes. And it's also apparently an excellent script, has some stunning photography and is based on a Clive Barker short that has reviewers saying it's gory, scary and sometimes downright disturbing? Yep, Sold!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

The only thing scarier than a clown...

... is a dead clown

Okay, so I don't have much to say. I just wanted to avoid having four girls finger paint their foulness all over our beloved blog. Is this how people have fun in Seattle? Yikes!