Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Speaking of Indian Deities

So, huh, how come our ancestors switched to Christianity? I mean, boooooring. Look at these Surya and Agni characters.

That's Surya.

Ok, that was nothing, check THIS out!


So many questions come to mind. Ok, just two (2) Those who thought of this, what were they on? Where can I get some? Although listening to Miranda That Ghost Just Isn't Holy Anymore by The Mars Volta seems to be giving me the answers. Check out the title of that song!

Oh, and here's Agni

And yes, I am being a loser. Christianity Rocks! Monotheistic, yet still has space for three Gods and untold numbers of Saints aka Demi-Gods. Think about that and stay rational!

re: When Cultures Collide

Davidoff, I didn't know I told you that my Dad gave me a bottle of Da Bomb hot sauce. Weird. It is of course the result of Mexican and Mexican cultures colliding. I tasted some with Piernitas and another roomate. An insane hotsauce that is simply too hot. As a certain Tshaze told us, «WHAT? YOU HAD DIRECT CONTACT?» Anyways the sauce is another one of those macho bullshit sauces that make things too spicy without adding flavour.

But it does make you a little high. Which is a good thing most of the time. That time I was at my brother's funeral, oh god! That was NOT a good thing. I still don't know who put the acid in the coffee.

While I'm pratering on, how many people here have a brother? Not many eh? We should have a sister party. A scissor sisters party! Yeah!

When Cultures Collide



You guys all owe me 5$. To have good old fashioned fun at La Maisonnée, 5383 avenue Gatineau, one block away from Métro Côte-des-Neiges, at 17h on Friday the 17th of November.

Oh yeah! Get your party hats on, were gonna have a good time! Yaaouuuuuuuuuh!

So, as you all don't care, I do some volunteer work at an organization called Collège Frontière, or Frontier College in the ROC. It's an alphabetisation programme. Anyways, we're having a wicked awesome fundraiser at La Maisonnée on Friday December the 5th 2006. Some of you may remember La Maisonnée from time spent at a certain CÉGEP where most/many of us went to. For you others (heretofore refered to as legal-aliens), it's a dive with charm. And we will be signing karaoke! AWESOME! Anyways, you should totally come even if it weren't for a good cause, just because it will be fun. We'll totally own the place, and those Collège Brassière nerds can shove it!

So five (5) good reasons to come to La Maisonnée on Friday the 17th of November 2006:

1. We will have a super good time! Karaoke! It's been a while for all of us...HOOKED ON A FEELING...

2. I am asking you to. I like to think I don't ask for much. I could be mistaken on this one. Whatever, refer to 1.

3. It's for a good cause. Karma points! KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA KAMELEON

4. The flyer says, «Je chante pour l'alphabétisation» So in your diary, you can write, «Aujourd'hui, j'ai chanté pour l'alphabétisation.» Or better yet when someone calls during the evening and asks what you're doing, you can tell them the truth, «Je chante pour l'alphabétisation» Bet you've never said that before!

5. It's Friday. TGI.

So it's at La Maisonnée, 5383 avenue Gatineau, one block away from Métro Côte-des-Neiges, at 17h, on Friday the 17th of November.

Tickets on sale at 19 Bernard.

Boomshaktaliban - bis

So, huh, as I was checking out the ol' internet, I stumbled upon this picture and I could not refrain from posting it. It has nothing to do with anything. That's not true. I found it under this title: Taliban missile hits Islamabad. I felt the picture's humour went beyond such a simplistic and South-Asia-centric title. I think you'll agree.

I would also like to bring up another point. If Indians are so good at begging for money, and this guy clearly is, why are they so poor?


That gets my vote for the word of the week! Sweet! New contest! Sorry, niiiiiiice! New contest! I liiiiiike!

Boomshaktaliban! Boomshaktaliban! Boomshaktaliban!

All I can say is thank you Salaud Charogne for enlightning us about racism and Central Asian politics!

Monday, October 30, 2006

Racism is not funny

I'm sorry guys, but that other night I learned something. I know t'is not very entertaining to get lectured but-t-t-t I feel I have to sharrrrre my experience with you, and that you too should learn from it.
This weekend, I learned, that, Racism is not funny.
It is a very sad and mean thing. People get hurt from it, and its not a good thing to hurt people, because they get sad from it. And sad people are no fun, and no fun is bad.
So dont be amused by racism, because its not funny.
Not funny. No fun. Nooootch funnnnnnnnnnygnnnnn. notttttch...

not-t-t-t-t-t-t tttt t t t t -t-t-t-t

notch fogny

What to do when you are HIGH


  1. Stare at the four dots at the centre of the image for 30 seconds

  2. Turn and look at a blank wall: see the sparkle

  3. Keep Staring

  4. You will see a figure, who is it?

Lucky Bastard

I envy Piernitas. Any time he feels sorry for himself he can just check this pic out and remember he's like the coolest man to have graced our fair planet.

For Good Times

Start here.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Amresh...I appreciate you.

b-day bash reminder

so ana bananaz and i decided to have our partooze at this b.y.o.w. in little italy. La Trattoria Il Piatti Pieno. not chi chi, good portions. so r.s.v.p. here so we can know how many to reserve for. it's the place to be on nov. 4th. wrestling gear is optional.

Second favorite thing about Halloween: Amy in lederhosen...hot.

When I asked this guy what the hell he was supposed to be he responded with a series of high-pitched beeps coupled with a head-bobbing kind of dance move. I love crazy people on Halloween, suddenly making Pete the Berlin matchbox animal (fig. 1) seems perfectly normal...right? By the way not pictured is the dude's leotards, fabric diaper and moccassins, and yes that is saran wrap.

Saturday, October 28, 2006


You know how...

hahaha, and then, I -

-What? hahahaha! Dude, I'm like so totally stoned. Here I am alone listening to Heavy Petting by NoFX. A Killer album! Not their best, but crazy! These guys are magic. But at the same time they are making me feel like when I got stoned back in Cegep. Dude! That's like totally nuts. Hehehe. Sometimes I wonder what embarrassing means.

-What? Its 5h90. Shit...

Friday, October 27, 2006

Weekend GAME - from some boobs

Does this imge represent Work or Play?
p.s. I don't check the blog on the weekend, it's a break from working at a real job kind of thing for me ... no offense to the male student population. So I can't wait to see the posts on Monday to this game. Donc, bon fin'd semaine, j'attend les photos de la masquarade "noir". bisous a tous



L'Important, c'est de Participer!!

There is a certain dynamic lacking on this blog... and by dynamic, I mean tits. I would very much like to see some more involvement from the female counterparts of the 19 Bernard crew... and by involvement, I mean posts (which is Greek for tits). I'm starting to feel like this is a site for single guys who take blog breaks between their online jerking sessions. The following photos illustrate what is, and could be.



Mental Note:

Don't take pictures of food with your camera phone. It just looks bad.

That being said, I thought the Tandoori chicken, gobi manchurian and rice Puri I made were quite good. Oh, and yeah, by rice puri I mean rice made in style of Amresh Puri, me. It sounds great in French!

angry director...

about a month ago, i posted something about my master's and my research director. basically, the guy's brilliant and competent and i'm glad i'm working with him, but he's got no social skills and no smoothness at all... and that's pretty fucking scary.
so i sent him a preliminary phase of my project that i had to submit for my research seminar. i shit you not, here's the first line of his reply:
"Ouais...tu en es au niveau zéro moins un....en ce sens que tu ne présentes qu'une intention de recherche." (notice that there's no hello or anything??)
i won't post the rest, but i'll post the PS that's a godd indicator or how i may have upset him from the get go:
"P.S. Pour la suite, je préfère lire des textes sur support papier, déposés dans mon casier....j'aime bien annoter les textes quand je les lis."

well this is very encouraging!!! i'm so glad to be still in school! fuck.


The Alternative

Well...there's always the more politically correct version of a minstrel.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Minstrel Squad

So this saturday ?
Degrading saturday ?
Are we set for this ?


Jmo needs a bit of convincing.


So Salaud Charogne is coming over to my place, right? I ask him to get me a sliced loaf of rye at Cheskie, the jewish bakery on Bernard. I am happy as I see him walking with the bread. Upon his arrival he starts bitching about the really shitty service and what a see you next tuesday the woman behing the counter was.

Considering their usually excellent service, I was left perplexed. Until I noticed his shirt.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

What You'll Want To Do...

...if you ever have the misfortune of studying with Amresh Puri.


wow! A picture truly is worth a thousand words. Or just a few, *insert fat person joke here*


Oh, and I really don't think you can post on a Mac, or at least not with Safari. Stupid Internet.


God bless the internet! Oh yeah! my friend Abdel uses it to order his groceries, I use it to renew books at the library, Georgiu uses it to relieve his basest instincts, Tatyana uses it to keep in touch with her friends and Pablo uses it to destroy children's lives. GO INTERNET!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Why I love the internet...

and the Japanese

I've heard of the birds and the bees, but...

Pour orienter, stimuler et enrichir cette observation, un guide est nécessaire. Le meilleur serait un ami ornithologiste connaissant parfaitement les oiseaux, capable de les faire découvrir dans la nature et de les désigner grâce à leur chant, leur silhouette ou leur plumage.

Eh oui! j’ai un examen demain...merde.


oh... this you gotta see!

Crichton, you're gonna love this one!

lesson in creepiness #2

so i posted lesson #1 last week, i hope you boys have had the chance to experiment on your own, find some quick tactics to creep out the femeninas and have strangers discussing it on some obscure lame-ass blog....hmm?
so king charles-edward is in some indiedudu band and does a lot of promo for his super-rad jittery-guitared alcoholomelancholic band. and by doing so, every time he plays shows, he sends hundreds of people flyers for the shows... for those of you who are not familiar with the concept of having friends who have bands and play shows, this is how it works: you get your mailbox filled with useless emails telling you about new songs and upcoming shows that you'l have to attend just to show some support and pretend that you like it. fun. anYhOOOo. so king charles-edward the first wrote his spam as usual and sent it to millions of montrealers... make it billions... billions of montrealers, including my supercool sister. so my sister opens her mailbox and reads this email that says: show next friday, blahblahblah... lamelamelame... musicbeermoneydrugssexandbleedinganuses. and a ps: please forget the previous mail, i meant to send you something else. for those of you who are not familiar with emails, the most recent mails go to the top of te list. thank you.
intrigued my super-rad-cool-extraordinary sister opens the second email and sees a completely different version of the flyer she just saw, and by completely different version, i mean, not the same at all... this means it has nothing to do with anything. basically. ok?ok.
the flyer displays pictures of big breasted strippers and hoes (that's black for whores... and whores is slang for prostitute... and prostitute is your mom), and in the foreground, a much bigger picture of our good friend the queen elisabeth (please refer to the first lesson as i changed the names... i mean... come on.) with, in big block letters "queen elisabeth, the whore"... classy!
keep in mind this is something he sent to the billions of montrealers to whom he had sent his other flyer.
so there you have it grasshoppers, this is how you will find yourself one step closer to achieving absolute creepiness.

next: a lesson on how to inadvertently upset the creeps!

Fluffy, R.I.P.

Fluffy is dead. And its all your fault. Cause: Lack of Attention. 0 comments! WTF!!! YOU PSYCHOS KILLED FLUFFY!

New Contest! (Davidoff/Michael Crichton please do not read)

Boy, these fat men are just tumbling down the stairs these days! Maybe we should reconsider this All-You-Can-Eat/Open Bar concept.

Anyways, someone recently wrote to me: And now im tired and i work at 8 and i need a nap. i almost wrote Map.


So let's have a contest on who can come up with the lamest shit.

And no, don't copy paste my post.

Remember That Puppy?

Give me a comment, or the dog goes.

Monday, October 23, 2006


Last night I was up chatting away with my roommates and the subject of funny slash ugly names came up. Last names like Slutsky, Uretoogay, Malaka, first names like Dick, Bernard-Vincent and whatnot. And wouldn't you it, this morning as I was perusing the internet I happened on a funny name.

Sheila Dikshit.

Like a fat man tumbling down a flight of stairs, a great idea came to me. Yup, it was time to eat.


Shut-up lardo! Man, fat people are insiduous!

So anyways, I was thinking that funny names abound on the information superhighway, so let's have a go! Here's how its going to work. Or not, considering you guys: You need the name, picture and link.

like so:

Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit

So I would rate this a 9 out of 13. Points for a great last name and seriousness of the source (BBC), penalized for a normal first name and lack of connection with the story. Oh wait a minute, she's forcibly kicking people out of their homes and destroying neighbourhoods. Dikshit she is. 11 out of 13 then.


Where are you?

Sunday, October 22, 2006

How Cute!

Oh George...


this is all i remember from last night's candle-lit sceance

Happy Sunday!

Ahhhhhhh, isn't he cute?

Saturday, October 21, 2006


ok... this is a petition against the renaming of parc avenue... read the comments... some of them are hilarious rants...

edit: for crying out loud, the link shit doesn't work again!!!
just copy paste... fuck! GEORGE'S GETTING UPSET!!!!

Friday, October 20, 2006

Dear Steven

Seagal, I have not thought of you for the past 12 years. Good years those.

Scrabble Rabble!

So you have your doubts as to this scientific proof I mentionned, well that's a good thing. What this society needs more of is a sceptical attitude. Well here goes. It was quite easy for me to find the relevant information, I mean, like I wrote earlier, everyone knows this. Except for you that is. Wait a minute...Have you been playing Scrabble?


Ok, sorry about that. The ravages of Scrabble playing have got to be contained! So back to the statistics. I found an interesting article in Epidemiology and Addiction Quarterly, the highly respected peer-reviewed British journal. The study looks at the reading-abled population of Belgium. The stats are real eye-openers. 1994 was a watershed year for the reading epidemic in Belgium. Numbers are taken from the Institut numérologique belge and cross-referenced with the Commission des chiffres de l'Union Européenne. Essentially this study is bullet-proof.

And you know how we use pigs as test subjects because of their many biological similarities to humans? Well the same applies to Belgians for the population of Québec. This was last established by the Office national des numéros of the Québec government in 2003.

With all that cleared up, let's take a look-see at the stats.

source: Charles Krauthammer, ``Belgium On The Brink : A Longitudinal Study of Reading Habits in 1994 Belgium``, Epidemiology and Addiction Quarterly, no. 4 vol. 19, Summer 2004, p. 1357.

Truly startling! I can only hope we manage to contain this AIDS of the 21st century. So, faithful reader, if you know of any solutions, please do not hesitate to share them with me.

Respectfully yours,

What Is Wrong With The World Today

Well, that about does it. I've had it up to here ' with these corporate f***ers destroying everything I hold dear. As some of you may know, I do volunteer work teaching the 2 R's: Readin' n' 'Riting. I just found out that two of our sponsors are Scrabble and Chapters! I could not contain my disgust at this obvious conflict of interest. They're only giving us books, scrabble boards and money because they want to create more addicts. Reading addicts. That's not even the worst part. It is scientifically proven that reading is a gateway drug. And we all know what readers go on to do: shop at Chapters. Yeah, and you know where this is going, what are they most likely to end up falling into? Buying Scrabble game sets! This leads inevitably to, shudder, Scrabble playing.

Is nothing sacred anymore? Have people forgotten how to give for the sake of giving? When the truth hits the rest of society, will my CV be diminished? I mean, what's the point of doing this volunteering crap if I can't put it on my CV?


Tonight I thought I'd do some bedtime reading on how to repair my leaky faucet. Lying there sleepy-eyed, trying to make sense of all of the diagrams my fix-it-yourself-book had to offer, I came across this little gem. Regardless of the fact that it was 3:30 AM, I jumped out of bed, turned on my computer and scanner, imported the image, and am now uploading it to the blog. I think the humor is self-explanitory. If it isn't, I have officially lost it.