Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I found this picture of Piernitas on the net

The caption reads:

Piernitas reads by light powered by
electricity provided by the ceiling transducer of
a bouncing ball engine. He's wearing earplugs.

...but he is happy.

weekends never end...

that's right! hochela'ghetto may be dead, but we're back baby! we're back!!!
Starting this sunday night, feb. 4th, heidy and I will be hosting weekends never end every sunday nights!!! She used to host the night on her own last year with impressive success and we're bringing it back!
Be there this sunday for the mighty kick off party... we're trying to buzz it up so make sure to come by, the merrier the better... wait.. no... the more the better.. anyway.. you get the point.
it'll be a 20,000 lieues sous les bulles party (hence the flyer), which means: bubbles everywhere... and where there are bubbles.. there's a party.. or so they say. who? you ask? i don't know, but they've gotta be right!!!
see you all there this sunday and every sunday after that....

Baile II

I found this better video

But I thought the music was superior on the previous post...

I am sharing my musical POV because I know how much you guys value my opinion in all things concerning life.


Here is an example of why I am going to be having a great time at the zoobizarre this Saturday!


Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I'm riddled with guilt

Sorry for flipping you the bird Trebek. It's only because I love you and know I can never have you. I made this video to prove my love.


Dear Boyz...

David Copperfield and The Great Wall of China

For the love of China

For your delight.

My pleasure, really.

No german clowns with 69 eyes, but still pretty neat

Even German Clowns Are F*** Up!

This left me feeling funny and needing to take a shower.

Monday, January 29, 2007


All right all right.
Settle down children.
Settle down. Now Amresh, what did I say about the drooling? Wipe this saliva off your table. Dont laugh Trebek, it is mean to laugh one's friends down. Especially one's special friends. For Christ's sake Qibiche, stop it already, leave your imaginary penis alone, and stop eating those boogers! I dont care if they're yours!
Now now children... As you all know, the end of the world is scheduled for 2012, december 2012 to be precise. There is no doubt about it, it is a definite, the many sources are unequivocal. Credible mayan apocalipto specialists believe the B'ak'tun (pronounce Bagxlakgxltungnkg) cycle will complete its thirteenth occurence, which translates into the end of our reality and the beginning of a new one. Also, none other than Mr. Nostradamus told of 2012 as being the year where natural disasters (obviously) will allow the third anti-christ (possibly a jew) to disperse his troops around the globe under the guise of aid in preparation for nuclear war. The fact that nuclearism wasnt invented in Nostradamus's time removes any justification for skepticism, so brace yourselves.
One prophecy even goes as far as to claim the earth's magnetic field will reverse, which evidently would spell as total annihilation of the human specie caused by a global misguidance towards the south pole.
Here is a preview of the end of times as reported by the chinese.
Do not kid yourselves children, this end of the world will be an excruciatingly and painfully long one. It will hurt. For about 7 long and hard minutes.

At the Rock Show!


The drummer threw his stick in the crowd and a certain Amresh Puri got it!

Oh, and one of the warm up bands, 69eyes, was sucking, so a certain Amresh Puri (again!) was compelled to yell: "YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" leading others in doing so. I've never had such fun booing a band.

All this while Piernitas was busy doing trigonometry with a girl. At a rock show. Beautiful.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Sorry about the sound...

Shove it, Trebek!!

This is for saying that I disgust you!!!


used condoms

there you go dave....

Running from Aliens

They looked like Trebek wearing Trebekies.....

Saturday, January 27, 2007

bouchon anti-dégats...

does toothpaste really need improvement in the delivery technology department? apparently, the issue is much more complicated than the scientists had expected!!!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

God hates futbol!

do you?

coming soon at a bar near you...

it's called hypin' it up baby!

Words of the Week!

1. Cheeky. Here's an example of that kind of behaviour:

2. Disgraceful.

As in:

Amresh: You ready to rock?
You guys: Oh, yeah!
Amresh: Let's go get disgraceful!!!
God: What about me?

Thank you Metal : A Headbanger's journey

ps Happy Belated Birthday Qibiche!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

So Bad.

Gatorade Pledges $240 Million In Thirst Aid To Underquenched Nations

I saw this pic on the onion website with this caption. I thought it was in really poor taste, AND hilarious! I was debating whether I should share it with you sensitive souls, then I remembered the Super Bowl is coming up. The excessive overconsumption and matchless tastelessness of said bowl seemed to me to make the pic + caption beautifully ironic in a God hates us all way. My decision from that point was easy: SOLD!

Totally useless factoid: Piernitas thinks God Hates Us All is the best Slayer album. I'm more of a Seasons in the Abyss kind of guy myself.

Devilish New Plan!

I have often fretted about my retirement, wondering what would happen. What if I have no money?

One solution is to get thrown into prison. But the problem with that is how do you get there without hurting someone? Browsing the int' (net is so 90s), I discovered the perfect victimless crime to land you in prison for a long time. Drug smuggling! Sweet!

Here's the plan: When you are down to your last few hundred bucks, go to the Central Bus Station, buy a ticket to, say, Smuggler's Notch.

Then, with the rest, cross the street. At Square Berri, pick up a bunch of really shitty drugs. Get on the bus. Ride that bus to the border. Get caught. Boom! Prison, nobody gets hurt. Who's gonna want to beat up an old man, let alone clean his pipes?

Monday, January 22, 2007

dear salaud...

you are as classy as can be even at such places as green room...

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Best Seller!

You lucky dogs, you get an advance peak at what is destined to be a huge best-seller! Yes, I'm talking about the latest Amresh Puri page-turner, Conversations with God: Possibly the worst book you will ever read.

Here's an excerpt:

"Amresh: God?
God: Yes?
Amresh: I need help.
God: Help is what I can do for you.
Amresh: Thank you. And by help, I meant that I need some info...
God: What is it that you seek?
Amresh: I have an idea for a perpetual motion machine based on tying a giant string around a satellite and using that to pull a train around tracks built around the world. You see, as the satellite pulls the train around the world, that motion can be harnessed to create energy, free energy!
God: Get to the point, what's the question?
Amresh: Sorry, I can get carried away sometimes. So here goes, will my idea work?
God: I can only answer that question with a minimum of two parts.
Amresh: I'm all ears.
God: Ok. Your idea will work. But not in the way you intend to. It will work in further alienating you from your friends as they realize that you are losing it.
Amresh: So I shouldn't really tell people about this. Or else.
God: Couldn't have said better.
Amresh: But you're God!

I got one too ~ and this is how it made me feel, and this is who I resembled at the time

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Friday, January 19, 2007

Thursday, January 18, 2007

je ressemble a kate moss


I Hate This Man!

Wilford Brimley

You guessed it, he won't add me as a friend on myspace.

You guessed it, he's Kevin Federline's man-lover.

Yes, Britney's in the know.

Thank you Penn and Teller

I have my own deep rooted reasons for disliking self-righteous, bandwagoning, white bred environmental zealots but this makes me happy to know I'm not alone. And if this pisses you off, you should check out the ones where they attack recycling, herbalists and Noam Chomsky. (I must admit, though, that the Chomsky bit was a poor attempt at defamation at best, in my opinion).

Sorry for the rant but I've been hearing too much of the same shit lately so its nice to see some divergence. Call it capitalist propaganda if you want.


Wednesday, January 17, 2007

On second thought

I might as well also post this sketch of Salaud I found. I was going to write a poem and all to accompany it because I find this sketch truely shows the inner conflict that plagues his ruffian mind. However, I've learned that, because I don't like not finishing what I started, I might as well not start anything. So here...a sketch...enjoy.


Amresh asked me to post this

There...I posted it. Now I can go back to watching Penn and Teller


Amresh = Chevy Chase?

New way to perform professional crastination

Can we discuss the issue at hand; that my face has been matched up with that of the president of Afganistan?

PROJECT 19 : Failed.

Dear Blog,

I'm feeling more and more like this guy.
I'm isolated, my plan is failing and everyone thinks I'm incompetent, however I believe I should stay the course and that failure is not an option.

*failure is not an option, its the wallow I'm drowning in*

Dear Blog, I never felt so miserable in my whole life...

... except for that day I woke up and there was shit on my chair from the day before. What? I didnt tell you?
Last month I reached a new level of drunkenness as defined by the act of unconsciously shiting on a chair. My chair. No, not directly on the chair : through my pants - on the chair. Some of it fell on the floor too. Anyways, the morning after, I felt really miserable, with the smell and all.

So I was wondering, Butter&Sugar, if you found any tricks after being miserable for so long, how do you cope?

All I found to ease my pain was to picture me working as a mailman.
It works a little, but not for too long, only for about 4 minutes.


Panty Party means Party Party!!!!

so... friday nights at green room have been pretty packed and purdy fun too and this week will be no exception as there will be a wicked show at 9 PM (21h00 qibitch) by the great PORNOROBO who are great and that's why i said the great PORNOROBO. they will most definetely dig through your ears and reach for your brain and then proceed to eat it and shit it back in your mouth for your greatest pleasure. the show is at 9 PM (that's 21hoo qibitch)... oh? i alreadysaid that? that's cause i know most of you will show up at 10 PM (that's 22h00 qibitch) thinking that all shows are late, but this one isn't. it's also pay as you can cause bastard pop have to pay for the soundtech and it'd suck if all of you cheapass muthafuckas pay with the last bite of bagel you just picked on your way over.
and then, make sure to wear your best bobettes cause bastard pop party goes panty party all night... fun huh? be there loafers!!

Cradle of 19 Bernard

Cradle of Filth are coming to the Metropolis on Sunday the 28th of January! Be there or be alive! Piernitas and the Puri are going, are you?

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Monday, January 15, 2007

Pulling an Amresh pt. II

Hiyo, there will be a vernissage on Thursday the 18th of January. Its an expo about life in dumps around the world. Not including the 19.

At the TOHU, la Cité des arts du cirque
2345, rue Jarry est
18h - 18 janvier 2007


Je faisais une recherche google, evidemment je desirais connaitre le resultat de la requete : "sale putain d'arrivee de mac".

Et je suis tombe sur la Verite.



pulling an amresh...

there will be a small vernissage this friday, 7-9.

19 jan au 3 fév 2007
Galerie Mile-End
5345, ave. du Parc, Mtl
Rens. (514) 271-3383

ever had an urge to grab another man's ass?

no more tittie fuckin for me.

Sunday, January 14, 2007


You've created a new fetish in me!!

Long live Reh Dogg!!!

Cat People = Suckers

So yeah, the truth is comin' out. Cats are playin' you, man. Check out this little video I got when I installed a secret cam in my buddy's appartment. (With her permission)

And don't get all uppity, dog people, your favourite animal stinks! No, for real.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

A little gift for all the guys in the blog....


This will make those boring monday nights 10x better.

(pour toi Amresh Puri)

Friday, January 12, 2007

Dear Trebek,

You're right... I am a whore... punish me... take your strong manly hand, wrap it around that braided leather whip, and make me yell for mercy. Hurt me so hard that I am begging you for forgiveness. Lash my taught smooth ass until it burns a pinkish red...
Then with your left hand, pat my pretty little cheeks and call me a whore. Whisper to me how stupid I am. Stand over me with your big, long, whip and make me beg ~ make me beg ~

sign this

contre la destruction du spectrum

here is a video of VITALIC

fuckin' bagels!!!

there you go...

Get out of my head.

I just wanted to say that I still cannot get the video of Amresh Puri dancing, alone in his room, at night, in the dark, to "Ridin' Dirty" out of my head. I believe that it was one of the lowest points in his life. I thought maybe there was something demonic about it. It was consuming my life and rotting my brain. I sent it to the Vatican, and well, they had this to say.

...fuckin' pope!

Style Points

So, imagine you like being perceived as a respectable human being. There are many rules to be followed. One of these many rules is to avoid going to the gym wearing these boxer-briefs:

Yup, holes chewed out by a rat is a nono in normal world. Word to the wise.

Why must I cry

this is why... sorry people... i had to...

Thursday, January 11, 2007

puri you capitalist bastard!

i knew puri had some sort of interest in bringing the capitalists at the doors of our holy temple of bloggerism... bastard!

First of all...

... second of all, it is not a bald spot, it is merely a rosette. Now that this has been unequivocaly explained, I would like to protest with the greatest strength of inertia the latest post of Mr. Puri. Actually it is not the content of his despicable post that I am utterly at odds with but the form with which he chose to inflict upon us a bad sampling of his severely well developped dementia. Of course, early victims of profound senility cannot be expected to understand the basic rules of engagement in this complex world of computerized virtual electronic internet communications, but it appears essential to me that we underline the unacceptable : erasing a post that has already been commented is extremely reprehensible. It limits the freedom of expression of our fellow bloggers, it is akin to a mental genocide, it is extremely prejudicial to the censored who find a part of themselves obliterated.
I had commented this post that Puri erased. Now no one will ever read about this precious jewel of blogliterature sculpted by Me.
Fortunately, I can remember partially the content of this electronic artefact, so I shall print here a somehow edited version (thanks to Puri) of the comments he so unconsciously deleted :

( I was dissing his post, because he posted twice the same thing, and it sucked, not because he posted it twice, but because the post sucked, but it sucked even more because of it having been posted twice)

"This is terribly awful. Almost as terribly awful as the previous two posts.
Even a session of Consolitude* would not avert the incipient depression instilled by this terribly awful post.

*Consolitude : the art of consoling one's depressed self with masturbation."

I hope you will all have learned a valuable lesson today.
Thank you for your time.

Be like Salaud


oooohhhh women


Famous People = Lots o' Illegitimate Children (+ correction due to internet difficulties last night)

I found this pic while exploring the outer confines of the internet. Can someone please tell me this does NOT look like Dick Cheney's illegitimate son?

He looks like a Marvin, non? For those of you not in the know, here is what Dick Cheney looks like:

This is what his legitimate daughter Mary looks like:

Now if Mary and "Marvin" coupled together and made a baby, said baby would look a little like this:

or this:

Visual potAto/potAHto if you ask me.

Tuesday, January 9, 2007


Monday, January 8, 2007

Sunday, January 7, 2007