Sunday, May 31, 2009

Dear Lovable Group of Homosexuals



If you don't find the griffon to be the most endearing character in all of gamerdom after the first 10-15 seconds then I submit that you have, in fact, no heart. What passes for your circulatory system I cannot say nor do I wish to know. It is sufficient to say that I no longer love you and you evidently never had the capacity for love.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Vernissage

There will be a venissage at Brutopia for the Artnight Collective. It takes place between 6:00pm and 9:00pm. Come see and have a pint!



Monday June 1, 2009
6:00pm - 9:00pm
Brewtopia Brewpub
1219 Crescent

Saturday's badass filler post.

Remember Dead Snow, the movie about Zombie Nazis that was released in January of 2009?
Well, it's seeing a North American release on the 12th of June (my birthday no less).
It will be a limited movie release so I doubt it will make it here but that means that maybe, just maybe, it will hit Fantasia.

In case you forgot what this shit was about:


If you don't think this shit is genius then there's something seriously wrong with you.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

So remember the other day...

when a bunch of us biked to Salonica for food and it took Nerdlord an extra ten minutes to arrive because he was having trouble locking his bike? Well this is why (I took a picture after the meal):



Ass to Ass!!!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Dear Nerdlord

I've had it up to here with the allround cosmic pile of moose shit that emanates from your very being, both organic and digital. As stage one of the shock therapy, here are a bunch of overly cute animals. As for the others, I apologize. I'm sure you understand.













Phew. That was tough. That burning feeling in your eyes will subside. Now, just to shake things up, go watch Irréversible. More instructions will follow.

The Past! (as far as I'm concerned.)

The Future?

Peep this site: Wolfram Alpha



Wolfram|Alpha is the first step in an ambitious, long-term project to make all systematic knowledge immediately computable by anyone. You enter your question or calculation, and Wolfram|Alpha uses its built-in algorithms and growing collection of data to compute the answer.

It's still not all that, but you can taste the crazy potential! It's like Google sodomizing Wikipedia and this is the resultant child!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Have I ever told you guys how much I love you?

Seriously. I love you guys. I love you guys so much that I feel the urge to buy all of you pizza and beer.



And I'm not talking a slice or two, I'm talking about as much pizza as possible.



In fact, I thought it might be fun to order pizzas from Salonica AND Royal... mmmm, just imagine flipping one slice of each onto the other and taking a huge mouthful...



I've been thinking about the best way to treat you guys for a while, and I think that rather than get a bunch of 24s of whatever is on special, I thought we could get imports. I wouldn't be happy unless I let you chose as many different beers from as many different countries as possible.



...and just think about how amazingly refreshing that would be after all that pizza. Mmmmmm.... soooooo thirst-quenching...



So let's make a date. It's on me!! Shall we say Sunday around 3:30? It's my treat. And while you guys are over, can you just help me move a few things to my new apartment? It shouldn't take too long. Besides, I can't wait to give you all your wonderful pizza and beer.

BBC vs. BBCAT UNITE!


Heya! B-b-b-b-ack in town!

Not for long though. Which is why I'm calling a Big Beer Conglomerate meeting this evening at Parc Laurier.

Big Beer Conglomerate Action Team UNITE!

Geek Update

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Tomorrow we:

1)Show up at the chesterfield in Lafontaine Parc at 1300 for some hand to ball action


2)Go watch naked terminators do their thing



Question: What time is the movie at? Please not the 9 o'clock showing. There's nothing more depressing than leaving the Paramount at 11:30 on a Sunday (except leaving the AMC at 11:30 on a Sunday)

P.S. If I were a german thrash band, I would call myself Teutonic Plague.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Hey Douchebags!

Come and see artwork at Brutopia. It'll be up for the next month or so. Some of our friends' stuff is there.

There's a more complete description on the Bonetrigger blog.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Going gay for Christian Bale


So, who is up for some terminator? The movie drops tomorrow and while I personally like the idea of hitting it on opening night I'm guessing the madness is going to be enough to drive Nerdlord and Bonerpants into a blood rage wherupon they combine to form Devestator and then trample all the other patrons.

I was thinking Saturday or Sunday might actually be a perfect day. Wallball then movie, weather permitting.
Suggestion, insults, injuries, reach arounds welcome.

We can't procrastinate any further.






This weekend, or I'm buying myself a tennis racket.

So I went on vacation....

...and I'm a little upset because aside from the beaches, and the amazing lobster and clam chowder that I enjoyed while I was chillin' on the coast, the thing that really stuck with me is the fact that Americans are REALLY fat.


the chowder trolley

Now I'm not about to make any apologies to any Amercians that might be reading this post. You might be saying: "But I'm not fat! It's not ALL Americans that are fat". Well you might be right. It's not all Americans that are fat, only about 98% percent of them. The food in the restaurants is eccessive, the lifestyle is disgusting and unsustainable, and it seems that Americans expect this level of glutony everywhere they go. I think it's called the American Dream or something absurd like that.

a photo I took through a McDonalds window

Everywhere I went there were fat people. EVERYWHERE! And anytime I saw a cute girl that did't look like she risked drowning in her own lard while she slept, she turned out to be a tourist from Quebec. Even the park benches were made for heffers. Everytime I sat down, I felt like a child. I'm convinced that Americans would even eat their own shit if it came with bicuits and gravy.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Bolivian delicacy #2

The Silpancho!



A mountain of flavorless rice and fried potatoes covered by a meat pancake covered by one or two fried eggs.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

I see your american style sauceless sausage poutza

And I raise you a bolivian style Pique Macho!


It's fries with sauce topped with meat, meat and more meat! It puts our various meat poutine variations to shame. I once got attacked by one that had an extra layer of steaks and chicken legs on top.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Damn Americans! They beat us to it!



Of course they got it all wrong and called it a Hot Dog with French Fry Pizza, when we all know this superb piece of fine culinary art should be coated with gravy and called a Poutza-Saucisses.

chug chug chug chug.... america!

best new website

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com


Friday, May 15, 2009

Speaking of Christ

Here's some intelligent design for you...

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Histoire de la Religion

Le Christ est un personnage historique qui eut une influence majeure sur le monde fantastique des humains. C'est entre autre à cause de lui que plusieurs centaines de milliers d'hommes à travers le globe se sont permis et se permettent encore plusieurs abus de toutes sortes en matière d'excès de table.
C'est par une intéressante coïncidence que le Christ est né en l'an 0. Pendant son existence, il marqua l'humanité pour toujours par quelques douzaines de frasques originales et parfois même insolites.
Le Christ ayant été conçu non loin des contrées arabes, l'on dit qu'il aurait été membre de cette race. C'est d'ailleurs pour cela que l'on se réfère parfois au Christ comme étant un "Christ d'arabe". Il est cependant crucial de noter que d'autres théories soutiennent la thèse selon laquelle le Christ serait plutôt de descendance équatoriale centre-africaine, et l'appellation vue plus tôt ne ferait sans doute plus aucun sens sous cette hypothèse. Le Christ eut une existence riche en péripéties de toutes sortes et plusieurs films hollywoodiens ont d'ailleurs été tournés en son honneur. Parmi ceux-ci on note "Ben-Hur et les 12 commandements", "Ben-Hur contre Barabas", et "Ben-Hur et les 7 hommes de petite taille", entre autres.
Le Christ était connu à travers toute la Mésopotamie pour son odeur forte et nauséabonde. Partout où il mettait ses pieds malodorants, les gens s'écriaient "Grand Dieu ! Ça pue le Christ ici !".
Pour terminer, il est important de noter que le Christ n'est pas toujours bien représenté dans le monde, et plusieurs centaines de milliards d'humains se trompent en croyant qu'il aurait été Maître de l'Univers. Cette dernière croyance est une fausseté, car l'on ne tue pas un Maître de l'Univers en le clouant sur des planches de bois. Pour tuer un Maître de l'Univers, il faut bien plus que cela. Il faut une hache en métal translucido-phosphorescent et le Tonnerre de Dieu, choses qui n'ont pas encore été créées par l'homme, donc preuve faite, CQDF, fin de la démonstration.

Star Trexico

These guys are incredibilidès!




They're incredibly incredible.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Star Trek

I'm putting this out there but I'm going to see star trek tomorrow evening. If anyone wants to go I'm aiming for the 19:30 show. Why tomorrow? Cheapie tuesdays that's why. I might have to buy the tickets a bit in advance though so make sure to let me know if you want in beforehand.

And now for something completely random.

So...



Do any of you douchebags know HTML? I need help.

Dear God!



Those of you who know Wolf Spiders as intimately as I do will want to read this:

Zombie Spiders Return from the Dead to Haunt Your Dreams : Zooillogix

Posted using ShareThis

Sunday, May 10, 2009

But could we forget about global warming and focus on more stimulating and sensational stuff?



I'm talking Sam Neil In Space kinda sensational, yeah baby!!!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

And now, for some more propaganda, but this time from the other side...



look at that SUN!!!

Quick Update

Oprah's human cattle farm



Oprah coupon craze leaves KFC customers hungry for more

It's about time she started her own farm. What with worldwide cannibalism just around the corner. I especially like this quote:
"I'm a big girl," Shannon Edwards told CNN affiliate WBAL-TV in Baltimore, Maryland, on Thursday after she was turned away from a KFC. "I like to eat. So I'm kind of disappointed I have to go to McDonald's now."

So you see, Nerdlord: in the new economy, you won't need to hunt fat people, you'll be able to buy them at the grocery store thanks to enterprising visionaries such as Oprah.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Who knew?

New Doritos Flavour Winner

"Ryan Coopersmith, 21 ans, et sept de ses amis ont remporté le concours «Deviens le gourou Doritos» grâce à leur pub qui fait… beaucoup de bruit."

-check out the article here-



I still think that my idea for a name (Exploding Mexican Cheese Factory In Your Mouth" was a better one, but who has time to make a commercial these days?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Wow

I just realized how much American metal generally sucks. That is one door I will not open again anytime soon. That'll teach me to buy CD's at HMV. I asked the dude at the counter if the tiny metal concert section was all they had for show DVD's. The guy slighly responded that the rock/pop section was at the other end. Forget it. I'm going back to:

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Wall Ball!!!!!

Well I'm really starting to feel the itch for the blue balls and this week-end's session should be mandatory. That's right! Screw the plans you had with your girlfriend, screw your mother's birthday (is it mother's day this week-end), and screw your... well... screw everything. It's wall ball time. My excitement was sparked by finding this beauty in the Point last week-end.



Beautiful, isn't she....



...which brings me to my next point. We have no wall. Our schoolyard wall has been caged by the man simply because she has a few loose bricks. Damn the man and his conservative ways!!! So I'm up to any suggestions you may have. Can we hit up that multi-dimensional wall in Lafontaine Park, or is that too small for a large group prison mates?

Rise up for America

I couldn't sleep so I decided to go check on the republicans, and what they're up to these days. I thought it would help me sleep. Because if there's something reassuring in this world, it's the present anguish these people are experiencing, and how it permeates through their writings on the internets.
Fortunately, they've a lot of very interesting sites out there which are all filled with much edifying statements about many of the truths of existence as understood by these charming and surprisingly witty psychopaths. For instance, did you know that the so-called president of the U.S&A is actually a traitor who's "broken in and entered the White House by force of contrivance, concealment, conceit, dissembling and deceit"?
Be aware that the president "has not been arrested and the government has not responded, thereby admitting the charges are in FACT TRUE!!!".

Seriously.
Their anguish is almost contagious.
I mean it must be. I'm pretty sure any person with an IQ below 65 (and there are lots of them out there) will be struck by the absolute shocking truth of these charges.

Don't worry my dear mentally challenged friends, soon this impostor will stop terrorizing you and you will be rid of him, for apparently, he was not even born in the USA!

...

Now if you will excuse me, I need to get further reassured by Mr. Glen Beck, another charming and very eloquent man, who will teach me and enlighten me on the possibilities of the human mind in the field of total intellectual vacuity.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Yo!

In time town for this evening and to post the quote for the month of May:

"It don't count if you don't know it's your daughter."

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Mega-Engineering

One last thing before I go to bed - if you google Mega-Engineering, you stumble upon this stuff (some übergeek exposing his ray-tracing art):









I've been playing SNES Mario Kart for the last hour so I'm still quite impressed by the quality of the three dimensioned perspective of all this computer generated graphical art bullshit.

By the way, Its pretty hard to beat the Special Race series on 100cc.

Don't let them rat-soup eatin low business insecure mothafuckas put you down, you doin fine boy.

Horrorific

Le angoisse m'ai coupe ley soofle.
Lè dhram internatzional m'étouffent et ché sens que ché perdhre ma sangue froide.

Yet the fear rises from more profound pits than this'un.
I've seen terror, I've had it seened with these very wary eyes! (points at something riddled with green pus and not of healthy appearance)
And I took her! I took her like a man... Although technically, I am not a man anymore, but while it happened I didn't crY!

What I mean to say is I saw this shockumental documentary about the "Afghan Problem".
It had a lot of dead bodies.
Some of them were quite putrefied. Others were still nice looking, but had had severe damage inflicted. Gaping wounds don't look so scary when they've been rotting in the desert for some days. They look, dare I say it? They look fine. Like a piece of jerky. I wouldn't eat it, let alone put it in a microwave and use a fork, but it does look finely natural.
Especially with the hair and the dirt and all.
So Pakistan's got 25-50 nuclear warheads, total political instability, AND the taliban openly defying the government, and killing everyone who dare oppose them and tell'em in their face.

What was that you said about hope again?
Hope for .. what? pos... what? Positivititties? Positive Feebacks!
Yes, that was it. Must hope for more positive feedbacks.