Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Don't say I don't love you.

There are some real gems here. It reminds me of grouphug but less depressing.

Today, I was showing a drama student how to fall off a crate without getting hurt. I broke my leg. FML

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

Today, the girl I love and I went to visit my parents out of state for the first time. My father grinned and acknowledged that she was a "keeper", at which she laughed and said we were "just friends". I was going to propose to her next week. FML

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

Today my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML


Anonymous said...

that was the geekiest unfunniest post on this blog in a long time!!!! typical moronic brain dead unfunny internet trying too hard college humour...

who's the craw anyway??? sorry, i just hate that kind of made up stupid bullshit attempt at being clever on the internet.

Master of the Craw said...

eh, I'm not convinced all of them are made up... in fact, even if they are just pretending they're real makes them funny.
i'm easily amused.
also, I have gone by the name porte patio but not of my own free will.

Napoleon Bonerpants said...

Trebek! It was you wasn't it? Señor incognito. J'accuse!!!

By the way, What's wrong with funny anecdotes about shitty situations? How is that any more moronic than all our usual talk about necrophilia and dildo decepticons? How is that a stupid bullshit attempt at being clever on the internet?

Barbarosa said...

I thought it was pretty funny. I'm going to add my own!


Dementor said...

I remember not more than 1 year ago, to our delight, Trebek was the Master of attempting at being clever on the internet.

And now this.
Another casualty of Time I presume.
And to think it might happen to all of us...

Dementor said...

Although... when you think about it, he is right.
That was a lame post.

Like my first girlfriend said, let's pretend none of this ever happened.

Anonymous said...

i didn't mean to be mean...

but i'll compare this thing to the "i've heard it in montreal" thing or i don't know maybe it's "i've heard it on the mcgill campus", and if it isn't that's what it should be anyway...

in any case... sorry.