Sunday, December 28, 2008

A wind that'll knock the wind outta ya

Man, forget biking. Just walking was a challenge for me today. What kind of place do we live in where you have to avoid flooded areas by treading on sheer ice while dodging falling branches in 100km/hr gusts?

So, I’ve done some research based on weather forecasts and can’t quite figure out what kind of phenomenon this is. It seems like a depression of almost cyclonic proportions, hence this satellite image:

Yeah, it’s not a hurricane but I’ve never felt a wind this strong since skydiving or riding in the back of a convertible going at 200km/hr.

Though the wind, to me, was a bit unsettling, I set out to have one of the best smokes of my life. I went on my balcony and faced the incoming wrath unhindered by the construction wasteland that lay ahead. I actually had to keep one foot behind the other (fighter’s stance) to keep from falling over. There was no immediate threat but the sheer strength of nature left me humbled. I felt vibrations below my feet and kept on swallowing the air in a gasping attempt to breathe properly. Needless to say, tears and snot were blowing off the side of my face and the coolness enveloped me like an icy womb. I, of course, also had to have a beer with the cigarette in question and blast a very appropriate Ensiferum song in my headphones to complete the circle of personal gratification.

Thank you, global warming, for giving me these cheap thrills


Barbarosa said...

Shit. I new I should have left my cocoon today.

Napoleon Bonerpants said...

Though you did need some masturbation and fried chicken time to yourself

Karl Hungus said...

Those clouds look like they're about the rain blood.