Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Craw

Although they offer considerable amounts of styles, Craws are fundamentally flawed weapons. Yes, craws are flawed. First, because you can only whip them one way. The other way you're just caressing your ennemies cheeks with the craw's smooth convex side. Second, craws are flawed because of their low range, and their small volume and weight make for low impact damage. Of course to this you'll reply that it's compensated with the craw's ripping damage, but what if your foe is wearing an anti-craw jacket? Even the thinnest chain mail will protect against any kind of craw.

The CrawMaster 3000 : good looking, just not reliable.

Because Craws are attached to the fighter's arm, which is another flaw, the fighter loses it if he loses his arm. To better make my point, lets take a look at those ill advised fighters who've chosen the Craw as their primary weapon.
Shredder chose to shred using mainly some craws attached on his hands. How many times did he win against the turtles? 0. Freddy used the craw to try to obliterate Jason. Who won? I dont know, I havent seen that piece of shit movie. All I know is it certainly didnt do any good for the Craw's reputation.
Raptors used the craw and for this they were deemed by many as the coolest dinosaurs ever (because craws look good). How many raptors left alive to this day? 0.

The Craw is flawed.


Barbarosa said...

Anyways, why would anybody want a
weapon that sounds like a pet parrot?

Anonymous said...

yeah but how many style points does it give you?

Dementor said...

The craw:
+2 styles
+1 damage
50% chance of missing target

Compared to good ol' lead pipe:
+1 styles
+4 damage
50% chance of skull crushing

Master of the Craw said...

Clearly, your craw-fu is too weak.

Napoleon Bonerpants said...

Yeah, but a lead pipe is 0% gouging.

Master of the Sraw said...

The Sraw is:

+4 style
+6 damage
80% likely to cut someone in half.

Barbarosa said...

I thought I sraw you at the weapons store.