Monday, July 6, 2009

The Gout

The gout is intense joint pain caused by high levels of uric acid in the blood. Usually, the pain is in the ball of the foot. The bad news is that the doctor says I probably have the gout. He made me take an X-Ray just in case it's something else. Tomorrow I will get a blood test done. Once the results are in, I'll find out whether or not it is the gout that is causing the intense pain in my foot.

Gout is associated with a high consumption of meats and alcohol, especially beer. I don't more meat than most, in fact, I probably eat less than the average male of my size. Beer is another story. I don't have a doubt that I have the gout. I did not hit my foot or anything, but it hurts like hell. No really, like hell; as if something was broken.

But don't be fooled, that doesn't mean I'm going to stop drinking beer. Hahaha,, what are you crazy? Just means I'll drink less of it. And I hear red wine is ok. So Nerdlord and I will be red wine buddies. I'll go from overendulging in the nectar of the Gods to sharing in the joys of Jesus' greatest miracle.

The good news is that the doctor says I probably have the gout. Considering the dietary changes I'll make, I'm guessing that I'll be choping 50 pounds of fat off my body and adding 5-10 years to my life!

Some people, when life hands them lemons, make lemonade. I make limoncello.

So, who wants to go for a beer?


Napoleon Bonerpants said...

How do you see a doctor that quickly?

Dementor said...

Easy... just find a doctor who will paint your gout problem with a angry mouse on it and then tell you to drink wine to make the mouse go away.
Easiest doctors to find. You can even pay them with empty cans.