Sunday, October 26, 2008

Fix Gear Horror

The scope of the atrocity described in the following sentences could only be grasped by my fellow fix gear hipster friends. Consider yourself lucky if you cannot fully understand it.
As I was riding full speed on the parc maisonneuve cycle track, I passed an old man and two more dead obstacles and then saw arriving, at near speed of light, the exit I intended to take. Having lately mastered the gnarly and hip art of skidding, I decided to show off to the watching passerbyes my hipster abilities and skills.
Following Sicko's teaching, I leaned forward and extended my right leg. As my body started to be lift up by the rotary motion of the pedal, I pulled as hard as I could with my left foot, creating a momentum that exerted enough force to overcome the friction of the backwheel. It is at this precise moment that my chain came off the ring. With close to 100% of the lebtalian team's weight resting on the pedal, and said pedal not resting on anything at all, my cyclist equilibrium was compromised. My right foot resting on the pedal slid on the side of it, with the inside of the ankle scrapping the metal object with the full force potential of the skid motion.
I fell to the ground in disbelief, holding on to the bruised limb.
If this had happened on sherbrooke where I was minutes earlier, skidding in front of cars and trucks, no doubt I would have ended up with more than an open ankle.
My trust in Eduardo and the whole fix gear community has been completely removed. Good thing winter's coming, I'm taking the bus.

21 comments:

Karl Hungus said...

Did it cut to the bone?

Napoleon Bonerpants said...

Yeah man, this shit's not funny anymore. I had my hind wheel just fucking jam as I started going last Thursday. It jammed! Luckily, I wasn't going fast enough to flip over or do some weird hammerhead turn or whatever. Had that happened on Berry Hill, I would have spread across the pavement like butter on toast. I really assumed bikes never did that! Plus, failing to fix the problem on the spot, I had to carry my bike home, not roll it, carry it. That must look as retarded as using an umbrella on a windy day! So yeah, I'll see you in the bus.

Dementor said...

what made it jam?

It didnt cut to the bone, but the bruised/cut ankle combination is no fun, and the would have died certainty is grim.

Karl Hungus said...

Ummm...I hate to "break" it to you Bonerpants, but that accident was entirely your fault. I told you over two weeks ago that your gears had to be adjusted, not to mention that you have no back break. Maintenance dude, maintenance. Come over one night and we'll grease each other's hands up.

Barbarosa said...

Also, Napoleon, why would you flip over if your rear wheel jammed? You would have mearly skid.

Barbarosa said...

As for Nerdlord, perhaps your chain wasn't tight enough?

Master of the Craw said...

I don't get it... i have the shittiest bike of the bunch and so far no problems. Well, i did have my front brake cable snap on me once going down hill but luckily I also have a rear brake.

Napoleon Bonerpants said...

I knew someone would make that "you can't flip over if your back wheel jams" comment. See it this way. You're moving forward at a given speed. Your means of motion suddenly stops. Unless Galileo was wrong, you're gonna keep moving at the given speed hence the flipping over part. Or perhaps this. Chain the back of your car to a brick house. Go at 60. If your rear bumper doesn't fly off, you will fly through the windshield. Again, simple physics. And no, it is not a gear issue. I checked.

Master of the Craw said...

It depends on where you weight is shifted, where the deceleration force is coming from and how fast you were going.

For the bike to flip over one of a number of things have to happen:

you have to be in a steep enough downhill or your weight was shifted forward enough so that this would happen (like a reverse wheelie) that the braking motion turns into a rotational force because the center of mass is high enough or forward enough relative to the bike's center of gravity

your legs would have to give (due to the decelartion force or because your legs for some odd reason weren't on the pedals nor on the seat) in which case your would in fact fly over your handlebars and flip over your bike in the process instead of transfering your momentum to the bike frame itself.

or simply the front wheel locks causing the inertia of the rest of the bike to follow and flip over the bike.

Nerd translation: both of your are right and both of you are wrong. And please, it was Newton who developed the laws of motion, not Galileo.

Master of the Craw said...

oops, sorry, I forgot, Galileo experimented on gravity and inertia before Newton (Newton having mathematically defined the laws of motion and incorporated the concept of inertia into his first law). This is Matthew Broderick all over again.

Napoleon Bonerpants said...

Says Wikipedia:
Galileo's Principle of Inertia stated: "A body moving on a level surface will continue in the same direction at constant speed unless disturbed." This principle was incorporated into Newton's laws of motion (first law).

Boosh!

And another thing, at a very slow speed, I almost flipped over. However, I was being over zealous and probably shifted my center of gravity too far forward.

Napoleon Bonerpants said...

Okay, you somehow snuck in your redemption comment just before my shaft comment making me look like a total asshole. Damn you Baggins! I will have the last laugh!

Dementor said...

anyways, you cant flip over when your rear wheel blocks. You will skid and might fall on your side but you wont flip.

Karl Hungus said...

Nerdlord is right, you will skid. However, what you guys haven't taken into account is that your body isn't attached to your bike. So you body might continue forward while your bike skids into deceleration, but the only way you'll actually flip over the handlebars is if you jam the front brakes only, causing the entire weight of the bike itself to release its momentum by finding the only possible course: up. carrying your body with it. *Smash*

Master of the Craw said...

*ahem*

Mr Candyman, I present you with exhibit A:

"your legs would have to give (due to the decelartion force or because your legs for some odd reason weren't on the pedals nor on the seat) in which case your would in fact fly over your handlebars and flip over your bike in the process instead of transfering your momentum to the bike frame itself."

you cannot claim my nerd crown peasant!

Karl Hungus said...

prove it.

Karl Hungus said...

By the way, you totally misinterpreted what I said.

Master of the Craw said...

sort of... I was pointing out that actually if your legs are connected to the pedals and leaned in the proper direction you'll transfer your inertia to the bike frame itself which, provided it doesn't turn into a rotational force, will allow you to just skid.

I'll grant you the title of Count Dorkus.

Karl Hungus said...

no..no...I think you just crowned yourself.

Karl Hungus said...

...for being a dork, not for being right.

Master of the Craw said...

Can't I be both?