RESOLUTIONS 2007

Cut down on the swearing

Stop binging (food)

Stand straight

Boring...I know.

Anybody else?

Yuletide Tiddings

In this season of festivitities and merrymaking, I thought it would be nice of me to join the fun. And so, seeking the sincerest form of flattery, I have decided to imitate Salaud dearest and post something grossly inapropriate: Saddam's execution. Not the official one though, the one filmed with a camera phone, where you can hear the executioners taunting SH, or so I'm told. My Arabic is a little rusty.

Merry Death!

Jour de l'an au 19

souper, au 19 le 31 décembre à 8hrs pm. Bring whatever the hell you want...no clowns or monkeys allowed.

Filler

I'm just posting this in hopes that that visual nightmare that Salaud posted a few days ago finally disappears from the bottom of the page. I've seen it so often that its becoming almost acceptable...you know...like shit eating.

new year's day

since it seems like many of us are doing separate things on new year's eve, we thought it would be nice to have a place to unite in our drunkedness and rejoice with sordid stories of the evening. that's why we're having a post-new year's eve party at the 19! Come one, come all after 3:30am for some grub and a barf bag. ps: we will not be serving heart-shaped hash browns, as pictured.

New year's eve....

so the plans i had for you, or at least, some of you, kinda flunked... so i got something else for those who are still without plans.... it's basically the best compromise between a house party and a bar party in that sense that jeanson and his friends have rented a small bar where only their friends are allowed because they didn't want to clean up the mess the next day... which is fair enough.... here it is:

de mes amis organisent un party de nouvel an, le petit bar sera pratiquement à nous! pour les critiques qui apprécient pas un party de nouvel an dans un bar, disons que ça nous tentait pas de recevoir un cinquantaine de personnes chez nous et d'avoir à faire le ménage ensuite...

donc vous êtes cordialement invités, et amenez vos amis aussi!

---

some of my friends ar organizing a new year's eve party, that lil' bar will practically be ours for the taking! for those who don't appreciate parties in bars, keep in mind that hosting a 50-people party means cleaning up after... nobody felt like that this year...

so bring yo' ass over there for a crazy new beginning! bring your friends too (and their little sister as well!)

--
mat j. b.
courriel / email : mat.jb@jansensan.net
site web / website : www.jansensan.net

let me know if you want his phone number... i won't post that info here...

Pour votre bon plaisir

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7284751201680710911&q=tra+la+la+gunter

merry fuckin funky christmas fuck... RIP James Brown

sad sad news... on christmas for crying out loud... i too don't really like christmas, but still, don't make people like james brown die on that day... crap!

BENITE

BENITE ADOREMUS

noel joyeux

LOVE CHRISTMAS

VIVE NOEL

MERRY CHRISTMAS

HAPPY HANOOKAH

JOYEUX NOEL

JOYEUX











NOEL

M
E
R
R
Y




C
H
R
I
S
T
M
A
S

Joyeux Noel

J'hais Noel, tabarnac d'osti de marde de caliss de viarge de ciboire de christ d'osti de sacrament de calvaire de marde.

PIMP TON ANNÉE!

this is next wednesday guys... this is the official warm up to new year's eve... no excuse whatsoever as everyone will be done with school work and/or work... you better all be ther and not just to say "hello" i gotta go now my friend vicky with whom i have nothing in common is in town and i haven't seen her since we were 4 so it might be pretty boring... i heard she's a nun, i can't wait to see her!"
the music will be good, the beer will be cheap, and the barmaids will ask you how you want your gin & tonic... ZOOOOMM!

foil

pranks are funny... i guess piano's had it pretty easy so far... although the giant cock is legendary...

Merry Greek Christmas!

Hey guys!

I hope y'all are doing good!

I almost forgot to tell you, but today being the 22nd of December 2006, its Greek Christmas!

As you all know our dear friend Jpeg George is Greek. She tells me that she always gets a little sad this time of the year because she has to celebrate Christmas at a different time than everyone else. Sure this is a great example of how she can be a little too sensitive, but still, I think it would be in the spirit of the season to give her a call and wish her a Merry Greek Christmas (Yes, I know that is probably not the right way of saying it, but you get the point).

Sorry about this post not even trying to funny and all. But I was feeling a bit vaklempt with all these yuletide feelings flying around.

Hoppah!

Dangerous Times.

These are very dangerous times for Salaud Charogne. He's dealing with a lot of confusion. It's not so much that he should worry about coming out of the closet, but rather who's room he ends up in. Careful Salaud, things might seem safe at first, but they can get nasty pretty quick.



And for God's sake, please don't become a shit eater. I don't like their kind.

Yankee Go Home !!

No translation required

Exhibit B

Ok Salaud, try this one on for size. Assuming this was the last person on earth, and you were too embarrased to ask whether or not they were female, would you risk the first move?

Keep in mind that you're gay.

EHIBIT B : The beautiful woman.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have been scanning the internet to find a picture of a woman, and after exhaustive research, I bring you the archetype of the beautiful unambiguous woman. So I hope this will convince you that I am not gay, as I can tell man from woman. And I lay that on God.

You spin me right round, baby
Right round like a record, baby
Right round round round

The I'm not gay case. EXHIBIT A : The male upskirt

I have been thoroughly studying the picture and to me there is not an ounce of a doubt left, this is definitely a male tennis player. A very feminine one, given, but nevertheless the ass assuredly does belong to a man. So let it be known that I do am able to differenciate a man from a woman and thus I am not gay. Because if I was affected by gayness, as we all know, my condition would prevent me from being able to discern males from females.
Now if we could move on to a more pressing subject: I would very much like to see more of Microman's features. Please.

Le balais de McGill

remember the broom?

More funny propaganda!

This time with a catchy tune!

good times

http://www.tetesaclaques.tv/

Joke, courtesy of Sisyphus

Pourquoi Trojan fait des condoms qui protègent contre le feu?



Pour qu'on puisse baiser des grosses torches!

HAHAHAHHAOHEOHEHEHIUIHIHIOHHOHO!

Ok, I'm outta here, see youze later, like the 28th o' December.

p.s. Merry Crassmas!

Ass-biguous.

Salaud-Charogne would have us believe that asses (especially cute naked ones, under tennis skirts, attached to girls) can be ambiguous. Well, not fully understanding his confusion and having University resources at my disposal, I researched the topic. To explain all the research would take hours, so I'll just illustrate it with this graph. Please note the title.



Conclusion: Salaud-Charogne is gay.



This one's for you Salaud:

Ms Piernitas?

It is impossible to deny that Piernitas is one of a kind. However, I set out to find whether or not history has given birth to other Piernitas in the past. I ended up scouring the 19 Bernard archives and found the closest person to a Piernitas dating back to the 60's.




I also found out that people living at the 19 about fourty years ago had the same kind of parties as the ones now.




And that the room in the front was primarily used for slow dancing.





Oh! What a heritage we possess!!

Trebekji and Puriji make me pee

I am dumb...
my lords Trebekji and Puriji have told me so...



Because of too much of this:







I am dumb, my skull is numb

I found this under my name:








and then I found this....













I didn't draw it bcs i'm dumb... so then I did this:


Dumb art
dumb bum
dumb love
just dumb








by dumb, new name dumbji

Ok Montréal, take it easy.

Simmer down with the free booze art parties. I'm trying to study here. You really aren't helping at all. I also want to play some hockey. You know I have issues pertaining to liquor. Why are you doing this to me? I would seriously rather these vernissages give out free cocaine rather than beer and wine. Then it would be a lot easier to say no.

Anyways, another verns tonight:



Usine C, 112 Mont-Royal E., 2e étage
Jeudi 14 décembre 2006, 17-23h

Speaking of WWII cartoons...

This one is terrific! Tex Avery.

Vomissage de vernissage!

Nice! This week is already pretty heavy with the events! It'll only get better when you guys get rid of me on Friday...

Anne-Catherine Lafaille



Friday 15 décembre 2006 17h30
43 Hazelwood



Yeah, I know, the art looks better at the Thursday verns. But that's not how we judge a vernissage, now is it?

Vernirama!

Renata Morales




VERNISSAGE
jeudi 14 décembre
dès 17h30

372 rue Sainte-Catherine Ouest (Belgo)
espace 416

Wow, That Was a Good Day

for suicide.



Bet ya lots of people were thinking that rope was lookin' mighty fine!

hochelag'hood aka hochela'ghetto

Starting tonight everyone, in the hochelag'hood... good jams played by myself and heidy at la nouba, corner ste-cath and aylwin... this shit's gonna be recurent on every wednesday night. come with everyone you know and let's make this the new hip place de l'ess....

Nazi Sex Propaganda

Some people have just too much time on their hands. I mean, how vain is it to have a whole conference about the Holocaust realness. Who cares if thousands of jews really died? It certainly wont do anything to solve the Jew Problem. Aint there more relevant and pressing questions to solve anyways? Like,





How many sheets of paper can one tree make?
How do you change lead into gold?
If God didnt want us to make war, why did he invent AK47s and the Muslims?
What kind of crane did they use to move those big menhirs on easter island?
Did the 3 bears really eat little golden locks? If so, was it only because of the purridge?

WW2 PROPAGANDA.

its funny how this ACTUALLY worked. If I were you, I wouldnt watch it more than once ...just in case ;)




















Damn I just watched it again!

Hey!

Why isn't Cassinova posting anymore?!?

So Anyways.....

I just thought I'd post something that's under 4000 words. I hope that's ok.

This is how I blog.

Verni

So after the shoot we can head on over to the Daylight Factory at 1030 St-Alexandre. Fly and Boutique Reborn are throwing a launch party. The eflyer was in PRese, so I loosely translated it for you cats:

"Hi, we are a bunch of scum-sucking fashion-blinded attention whores that are so dependent on being seen by others that we give away free booze to a bunch of wankers like those assembled at the 19 poss. Our food is observation, yours is hooch. Quid pro quo anyone?"

Photoshoot!

Hey you guys! Pizza Romaniac is setting up a photoshoot, tomorrow evening, Tuesday the twelfth of December 2006. This will be happenning at the 19.

You will be pleased to know that my three roomates will, in all likelyhood, find out about this event on the blog, like you. If you happen to speak to then beforehand, please let them know that I thought it would be allright with them.

The theme of this shoot includes the following words: love, where, is and '?'

So why don'tcha come on down. Good times.

UNTERBAUCHSCHMERZEN

Yo. This is why the germans have it better than us : they can form up words anytime.
Like if they're pissed at their computer, they could just invent the word :
albernrechenautomaten (stupid computer)
or when a woman's yelling at them, they just go : arch, das hysterikerfrau.
(hysterical woman)
That means in just one word, they can describe their whole afternoon : Paarungnahrungkotschlafendpaarungnahrungpaarungschlafendkot (fucking-eating-shitting-sleeping-fucking etc.)

And then pictured below is the unterbauchschmerzen, which obviously means "pain in the lower stomach section". Try to find an english word for that!

Word to the Wise

Do NOT watch this video.



Thanks.

Fart

The Province of Quebec is the only place where a teaching diploma requires four years of University. The only problem with that (and trust me, it is a problem), is that it gives you an extra year to fry your brain before you go out to influence young minds leaving you in this kind of mushy, embarassing, lethargic state.

I have nothing left to give.

The Joys of Living with Others

Sharing a bathroom is the most obvious advantage of living with others, and this pic demonstrates the added bonus.

Tell me the Story

Look what I found?
Where did I find it?
What's this all about?
Puri trying to be an artist, or just a silly 19 collaboration?

As you know

Life is full of pitfalls, and spittirs-koswels. Anyhoo, I have come to the conclusion that the basis of living a "good life" is finding the tight juicy middle between short-term pleasure (STP) and long term pleasure (LTP), otherwise known as middle-term pleasure (MTP). Many different actions can lead to this temporal Shangri-La, for example, jerking off while investing in your RSP is the typical example.



But please beware the nefarious STPs known as LTP killers (LTPK). Fine examples of these are drinking until you puke or almost on a weekday. Which can only get compounded by going to bed at 5am, after a Bolivian Hike. Say NO! to LTPK!



On the switch side, there are also LTPs known as STP killers, but in my milieu, they are only known through vague and unaccounted mythology, so I have no example for you.