Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Machete




So I gave Pants his birthday present yesterday. Its the first in a series of apocalyptic gifts. When I bought it the guy at Surplus told me he sold dozens of those daily, and as a token of his words, his sold me the last one he had. This means there's a shitload of honest and not so honest citizens in this town with machetes in their house.
Given that the apocalypse is generally predicted to be happening within the next 15 years, I don't know about you, but the thought of having only a couple of kitchen knives and some 15mm wrenches to defend myself while all the other bastards are armed to the teeth is quite worrying.
So I call for an arm race.
I say Pants takes care of the blades and I'll be chief of firearms.

Also, Pants, next time one of those bell ringing trucks pass down your street to sharpen people's blades, have them sharpen your machete. Try stepping out with a cigar and camo pants, and look like you mean not to be fucked with.

12 comments:

Napoleon Bonerpants said...

Does that mean I have to give you a shotgun for your birthday?

Dementor said...

That would be nice, yes.

(hint: 12 gauge remington shotguns are beautiful, efficient and affordable)

Master of the Craw said...

pants: what day and section did you grab slayer/megadeth tickets for?

Dementor said...

what!?

how much?

when?

Master of the Craw said...

Nov 12th.
floor seats are gone though.
damnit.

Napoleon Bonerpants said...

I have two floor tickets.

Dementor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dementor said...

Oh... I see... 125.00$

what the fuck...

Thats why its a double venue, to justify the price...

Cause if each band would come separate, they wouldnt even charge the third of this ridiculous price.

I guess there's a plus-value for seeing them both the same night... but that much?

Peace sells, but I'm not buying.

Napoleon Bonerpants said...

They were 65 a piece. You're talking about scalper prices.

Master of the Craw said...

65$ is reasonable enough for a concert of this size, isn't it? I don't go to many so IDK.

Dementor said...

I know a way better way to invest 65$ in Metal.
Way better.

Master of the Craw said...

incidentally I listened to Ahab today.
Yarrr.