Sober Days

As you may have noticed by the total absence of irritating videos on this blog, I've completely stopped drinking 4 days ago.

I feel like a new man.

Of course this calls for a name change.

It also calls for a dance.

Public Announcement

Let it be known that We have completely stopped drinking alcohol two days ago.

People who read this blog, if any, will be glad to know that Our drunken posts will no longer appear here to irritate them.

On another subject, We would like to express Our newly acquired sober pleasantness by writing a poem on flowers :

Flowers in my backyard
You are so lovely I could cry
You make the world a better place
Flowers in my backyard
You are such beautiful flowers
You calm down my little soldiers

Heed the man's last words.

I might be dying so read these as if they were my last words.

My friend Etienne is on hunting mode, as are hundreds of other lonely men like him. But Etienne is a nice guy, so it's ok. He's not like the other cold call dudes. He just presents himself nicely to girls, but they don't always react too good. Some of them are just plain fucking stuck up bitches who don't know shit about life. They're like 22 or something and they think they's the shit. But they ain't! They ain't worth shit! So I'm sitting at the bar with my buddy Etienne, and he presents himself to this girl. Now this is the kind of girl who's super self-conscious, she's well presented of course, she spent like 3 hours working on her fucking face before going out. So Etienne is being nice and all, and she completely tells him to fuck off.



At this point, I'm thinking about my options, as I'm sitting between the bad bitch and my buddy.
It took me about 4,12 seconds to explain to her: "HEY! C'est pas des manières de parler au monde ça!? T'es dans un bar, c'est sûr que l'monde vont t'adresser la parole?! Si tu voulais pas te faire déranger, t'avais qu'à rester chez vous!"
or something like this.
So she looks at me, and then starts telling me how sorry she is!

She told me she was sorry!

what a fucking bitch!

Jui ai dit de manger dla marde quand même. "JE M'EN CALISSE, MANGE DE LA MARDE."





I'm thirty you know, it's over. I don't have any more patience for these young stupid girls. I will not tolerate any other kind of abuse from these stupid idiot, ignorant, young, impertinent, stupid fucking bitches.

Let the world know, that I will NOT TOLERATE ANY LONGER THE BAD BITCHES SUPREMACY.
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF SEEING POOR OLD HONEST BOYS GETTING TREATED LIKE SHIT BY THESE FUCKING WORTHLESS PIECE OF INSECURE FEMALE BASTARDS. You are 22, I'm 30, I was nice, you was a bitch, I weight 200 pounds, you weight 90 pounds, next time, I will crush you. I will crush you and I will eat you alive. I will chew you up and spit you out.


And even if was 90 pounds and you was 300, I'd still fuck you up, cause I'm holier than thou, bitch!

Stephen Chow, comets, and blood in urine !

So Stephen Chow did make another movie since Kung Fu, it's called CG7, and apparently it's really good. I'm gonna rent me that one for sure.
I might go see District 9 again btw, so if anyone wants to join me, state it here.

Here's what I was saying about comets and ADN Pretty cool stuff.


And finally, if you get blood in your urine, go get checked.

Cool Stop Motion Video

Smell of burnt tire

It was not too late, round about midnight, we went for a ride with Spazz.
The objective was the tower, the 17th century tower on Ste-Hélène Isle; we were to ride over there and smoke some pot and then come back.

We saw some pretty amazing shit.




But then, out of nowhere, this bad bitch specimen of the female human specie shows up driving a fucking mini van alone my chain came off. My fucking chain came off just as she was pulling out of the fucking parking. So I fall on my saddle and pull on the break.

My chain keeps coming off.


It's so fucking goddamn dangerous.

Why?

WHY do I love Jennifer Connely. I could marry her, and then gouge out her eyes for breakfast. Then act as if nothing ever happened between us, just out of pride.
Pride and Predatorism.





its so easy to find this kind of shtuff on the internet.

poor kids.

Poor fucking kids, no more imagination left.

The internets are the death of imagination.

(I always imagined Jennifer Connely with dark purple nipples.)

Enduro Challenge

Peep this plan.

PAIN! EXHAUSTION! TEARS! MENTAL ANGUISH! GLORY!



We wake up Saturday morning. Bike to my cottage. 160km

Sunday we wake up early. Bike back to Montréal. 160km

Although I've got a touring bike, I'll be riding Sheldon Brownie both out of solidarity and for the massive street cred I'll get.

Who's in?

This Looks Interesting

État Sauvage L'exposition




IN MONTREAL, FROM AUGUST 6
TO SEPTEMBER 7, 2009
COME AND DISCOVER THE 130 MOST STUNNING WILDLIFE PHOTOS OF THE WORLD!

Launching its world premiere in Montreal, the exhibit ETAT SAUVAGE will present three exhibitions of wildlife photographs under the same roof including "Whales: From the Depths of the National Geographic Archives" from the National Geographic Museum in Washington, D.C.; "Nature's Best Photography, The Windland Smith Rice International Awards" presented at the Washington Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History; and photographs from world-renowned Vincent Munier, the only photographer to have ever won three times the BBC Wildlife Photographer of the Year Award.

Under the big top in front of the Bell Center, on De la Montagne St., south of René-Lévesque Blvd. West.

12$

What I Actually did Wednesday Evening

MoTC did 67.

What I did Wednesday Evening

MOTC did 73...

cock n' bull's is closing...

sad. true.

Uptight fucks.... Beer billboards mocking Toronto coming down in B.C.

Beer billboards mocking Toronto coming down in B.C.

Shared via AddThis

... led me to this!!!

I believe if I had been in his place, one of us would have died that day.

What I did next.

My sentiments exactly..

even though my dad's nickname is Todd.

District 9

MOTC and I are going to see this SciFi movie District 9, probably on tuesday.
Anyone interested, post comments here.

Biomimicry

This is a really interesting field of study that I feel is long overdue. It's also a vast step in the right direction.



And check out her website: asknature.org It's amazing how much waste is reduced when using nature as a blueprint for technology.


Also, this is an older talk she gave at TED. She breaks down nature's designs into 12 points and brings up some really cool examples (aka software based on a neuron found in a locust - wtf)

To put things into perspective

Most game systems seem cool but not very special. This one is actually kind of amazing in that "simple but powerful way"



for the uninitiated

The 3DO Company announced today the completion of an agreement with founder and chief executive officer Trip Hawkins that will provide $10 million in financial support to the company.
"3DO is poised to release hit games in 2003, beginning with our top-ranked High Heat(TM) Major League Baseball(R) 2004 in February," said Hawkins. "This agreement is a big step forward on our goals of revenue growth and a return to profitability. Our confidence is growing from good previews from the gaming press for our 2003 product slate, and promising purchase order demand for our initial 2003 releases."

Here's another nifty application for the game system. Things like this may start cropping up more and more as CD-ROM technology becomes more affordable and prevalent. I can imagine people walking around a place like Berlin or Paris and playing some kind of “hand-held” interactive movie (say for example Captain Eo, only portable and with a choice of endings). It should be noted that these systems aren't quite there yet but are interesting nonetheless.



There are some story-driven applications for this technology as well (obviously):





Anyways I've nerded this board out enough for now.

That's using your box.

Most iPhone apps seem cool but not very special. This one is actually kind of amazing in that "simple but powerful way"



for the uninitiated

Augmented reality (AR) is a field of computer research which deals with the combination of real-world and computer-generated data (virtual reality), where computer graphics objects are blended into real footage in real time. The term is believed to have been coined in 1990 by Thomas Caudell, an employee of Boeing at the time[1].

At present, most AR research is concerned with the use of live video imagery which is digitally processed and "augmented" by the addition of computer-generated graphics. Advanced research includes the use of motion-tracking data, fiducial markers recognition using machine vision, and the construction of controlled environments containing any number of sensors and actuators.

Here's another nifty application on an Android phone (Google phone OS). Things like this may start cropping up more and more as smartphones become more affordable and prevalent. I can imagine people walking around a place like Berlin or Paris and having the system bring up text indicating the history of a particular building or display an image of what that area used to look like (say for example pre war Berlin). It should be noted that these systems aren't quite there yet but are interesting nonetheless.



There are some game applications for this technology as well (obviously):





Anyways I've nerded this board out enough for now.

Unspeakable Grief and Horror

Act 1: Humfred, Rupert and Joe are sitting in the living room.

- How was the ride, Rupert?

- Oh it was great.

- And Liz?

- Oh yes. Liz is ok.

- Good, good.

- Yes. Hmmm....

- ...

- ...

- Would you care for a glass of water?

- Yes, hmmmyes...

- Okidoo...
(Humfred leaves the room, walking quickly)

- Hmmm....

- So, Rupert, I hear you're in the mustard trade? How is business these days?
(Rupert adjusts his monocle and takes a puff on his cigar)

- Hmmyes, mustard is all right, I suppose, Yes.... hmmm, hmmm... Grains are up though. Not good for now, but it'll go down, yes... hmm....

- Course, course... it's a sure shot.
(Joe scratches his nose, looks at Humfred who's coming back with two glasses of water)

- Here you are Rupert. Enjoy.

- Thank you Humfred.
(Rupert takes the glass...)

- DON'T!!! DON'T DRINK! DON'T DRINK IT!
HE DIPPED HIS PENIS IN IT! DON'T DRINK IT!

- BY JOVE! WHAT THE HELL?

- HE DIPPED HIS PENIS IN YOUR WATER DON'T DRINK IT RUPERT!


- Humfred??? By God! Did you really?

- Course he did! He always does that.
(Humfred looks at them in shame)

- It's true, I... I... I couldn't... I had to do it... I'm sorry Rupert.
Let me get you another one.

- Hmmm...

Break out your SS uniforms

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=152584383288

Ne manquez pas le samedi 29 aout la 2e édition de la marche de zombie de Montréal (par les mêmes organisateurs que la marche de l’halloween passé)

Une présentation de New World Conspiracy en collaboration avec KAO Production

Qu’est-ce que une Zombie Walk?

Une Zombie Walk est un rassemblement public de plusieurs personnes habillés en zombie et jouant leur personnage. Prenant place normalement dans un centre urbain, les participants se déplacent à travers la ville et centres commerciaux d’une façon plus ou moins coordonné vers un cimetière (ou cinéma)

Pendant cet évènement les participant sont encouragés à rester dans leur personnage de zombie et de communiquer d’une façon propre au zombie (gémissements, bruits, et en appelant les ``brains``)

Code de conduite des Zombies :

1. Ne pas toucher les non participant à la marche s’ils ne sont pas réceptifs à vos avances.

2. Ne pas effrayer les personnes non réceptives, évitez les confrontations.

3. Restez sur les trottoirs mis à part pour traverser les rues. Pour la traverse de rue, il est acceptable de sortir de son rôle de zombie au besoin. Évitez a tout pris de bloquer le trafic.

4. Ne pas vandaliser, détruire ou voler les biens du domaine public ou privé. Montrez du respect pour votre ville pour éviter tous problèmes avec la police. Oui la marche de zombie sera tolérée de leur part tant que nous respecterons les lois en vigueur pour tous.. Même pour les zombies!

5. Respectez le domaine privé. Vous ne devriez pas pénétrer dans les commerces ou tous autres endroits où vous n’êtes pas les bienvenues

Pour l’itinéraire complet et les heures de rencontres de la zombie walk 2009, downloadez la carte via ce lein :
http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs181.snc1/6040_1213060009214_1310210592_30597304_4395634_n.jpg

Pour des idées de maquillages et de costumes visitez les liens dans la section liens de l’évènement !

***Veuillez noter que les T-Shirt de la Zombie walk 2009 ne sont disponible qu’en pre-commande. Veuillez nous écrire avec votre nom, contact et grandeur désiré directement a ce email : info@newworldconspiracy.com ou en visitant www.newworldconspiracy.com

Rajoutez le groupe New World Conspiracy (http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1310210592) pour des concours futurs et pour vous tenir au courant de nos évènements futures.

If hertzog shows up I'm going to track down a machine gun equipped snow mobile.

RETOURNE DANS TON VILLAGE!

Top 3 Most Sexy Ass Actresses

I decided that my previous posts were a bit too hateful and that I should pour a bit more love on this blog. So here's to my beloved actresses, beautiful ladies of my life. (the fact that they were mostly discovered in my prepubères years has nothing to do with my love for them)


#3: Daphne Zanuga



#2: Allison Doody


and the #1 sexiest Ass Actress of all time: Marisa Tomei

Bonerpants in Action!

Dudes,

I managed to steal this video Bonerpants made of his kayaking adventure with Bookmaster J.



The guy is sick!

Please excuse the pretentious kayakers he interviewed.

I find this intriguing

I'm not big on posting random videos but I really just want to share this one.

Video Games | ScrewAttack | Angry Video Game Nerd: Plumbers Don't Wear Ties

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Yes, it's the upside down chicken that made it blogworthy.

Check this out...

Watershed - Summer Series

This is a really good series on water and what it means to us. There is a really good episode on the Alberta Tar Sands:

Episode # 6 : Alberta Tar Sands & Tailing Ponds

Author Andrew Nikiforuk says the way we're developing the Alberta Tar Sands is turning Canada into a one-dimensional "petro-state" with no regard for the social, economic or environmental consequences. His book is called Tar Sands: Dirty Oil and the Future of the Continent.

Also … Tailing Ponds. The Alberta Oil Sands industry generates an extraordinary amount of wealth and a staggering amount of waste ... toxic waste that no one is quite sure what to do with. We consider the consequences and go looking for a solution.

Yarrg

Why the internet will take over the world/our lives

What could possibly go wrong?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/8182003.stm

(B)ryan Adams

I was not wrong about Bryan Adams.


He was who I thought he was and he was born in 1959. I merely got his name wrong which is a technicality. On that note, who the fuck is Ryan Adams? You really thought that I thought that this greenhorn



sang summer of '69?

Give me some credit!

(Ironically, I almost posted the pictures backwards. That would have been stupid funny)

I am an unstoppable monster that will eat his own children

I recently lived a moment of weakness where I thought my heart was just going to stop. I always thought it was in my mind but I just needed confirmation of that, and I finally got it. It was during this slice of life that I was once again reminded just how much power the mind has over the body. So now, with this little bit of wisdom, I’m here to rape the countryside and take back what is mine.

So yeah, today, I abused my body in every good and bad way all at once. I drank boiling water but had to add loads of hot sauce to it. In it were strange unidentifiable sea creatures. Afterwards, I emptied one last of many beers in my already reeling stomach. Finally, well…I went home. But, accidentally, I missed Berry Hill because of construction. But I just had to test my one-speed high ratio gear. So I went down the hill, turned around half a block further, waited for the light to turn green, and gave it a go…

My stride was that of a Behemoth, lunging ever forward, pacing in a catastrophic rampage of reckless abandon.

I can’t go back to small girly-man gears. To be honest, I haven’t understood the joy of cycling until now. It’s this gear. You HAVE to go fast otherwise you don’t get anywhere. And when you go uphill, you wonder what will give in first, your legs or the bike frame.

So yes, this was a post about cycling in disguise. And speaking of Behemoths, check this out if you don't already know about it

Vers la fin des enfants uniques

Je ne me souviens plus avec qui je parlais du quotas d'enfants en chine samedi soir... Eh bien, j'avais tort!!!

La Chine envisage assouplir sa politique de l'enfant unique, qui est en vigueur depuis les années 70, mais pas de l'abolir. La chine doit lutter contre le vieillissement de la population. En 2050, selon l’ONU, un quart de la population aura plus de 60 ans. Donc, récemment il encourage les jeunes couples à avoir 2 enfants (surtout à Shanghai).... mais seulement s'il sont considérés comme couples qualifiés.

La définition d'un couple qualifiés:

" Si les deux parents sont eux-mêmes des enfants uniques, si leur premier enfant est handicapé et, à la campagne, si c’est une fille. Mais aussi si les parents sont issus d’une minorité ethnique ou bien s’ils sont assez riches pour payer les amendes s’élevant à plus d’un an de salaire moyen… Plus développée, Shanghai bénéficie d’exceptions supplémentaires. Les parents divorcés ont par exemple le droit d’avoir un deuxième enfant avec leur nouveau conjoint, ainsi que les parents titulaires d’un doctorat."

freakout!

Nice

Oh the things you find when you Googleimage "bizarre"

30th

I would like to advise you all that I will have reached the respectable age of 30 by next Thursday. I will be 30 on Thursday and I now know what I'll do when I grow up: I will be a Viking.



By this Sword in my hand, let it be known that a Tynwald will be taking place at my
house, on the northern side of our Isle. All Heathens are invited.
We will celebrate the Gods with proper Galdrs and Blots and make sure the baneful wights stay astray. Bring all gandrs and much Alu, for the Elder Kin in Asgardh are looking upon us with high expectations, and we must not disappoint them.


On another crucial subject, I believe that anyone who poses naked on the net and then later regrets it is a total mental retardee.

Goddam!

Music is amazing. Try out this track. I can't stop listening to it. The riddim, the voice. Fuck.