Wednesday, February 28, 2007

News Flash! Humans Are Hypocrites!


Time to talk hijab. First all, if you want to be modest and wear a hijab, go for it. That this rule does not apply to men, I personnaly find ridiculous, but hey, its not like I got to sit down and have a chat with the Angel Gabriel in MY dreams. Well, I might have, but I don't remember. I digress.

Anyways, the other day I was chilling at school when I noticed this girl wearing a hijab. But it was a Louis Vuitton hijab. How can you wear the hijab to be modest and then show off how much money you have? Incongruous thinking at best. If you ask me, girl's afraid of her dad/community, but not God. Pardon my Hebrew, but that shit ain't kosher!

C'est du flamand




I DARE YOU, I DOUBLE DARE YOU NOT TO LAUGH.

Weebl and Bob - Paper

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Christ, this is absurd!


http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/02/26/jesus.sburial.ap/index.html


Ok, documentary about holy shroud of Turin, no problem. Documentary about tomb of Jesus, huge problem. Although I'm one to think that James Cameron is a wishful thinking egomaniac, I still can't help but scoff at the media's reaction to this. Saying things like: "several scholars derided the claims made in a new documentary as unfounded and contradictory to basic Christian beliefs" is like saying: "It can't be true because lotsa people don't believe it". In the words of Ram Puniyani, 'this is sophistry at its worst'. It is now clear that the creationists have successfully invaginated themselves in the scientific community.

Of course, christian fundamentalists are urging for the documentary to be pulled off the airwaves thus sparking the question: why are they so afraid of something that they consider so dismally ridiculous? The other question regarding freedom of speech needs no further enunciation.

I also like this little gem from another site:
"I think this is more fanciful and absurd theorizing. Every Christian knows that Jesus, the son of God and man, died and rose again on Easter Sunday"

Hey, while we're at it, why not just label Jesus Tomb Talk as hate speech against messiahs so that its never openly questionned again? Yes, people should go to jail for even suggesting that a certain someone decomposed instead of magically transforming into holy ether. Sounds crazy, but what does "crazy" mean at this point?

I have nothing against faith, but I can't help but feel that religious zealots are pathetic impressionable sheep who are damned by their own willful ignorance and that, long ago, murdered their own god through bad representation. They should be charged for deicide by defamation. There, I said it.

image hosting problem...



this is bastard pop's new flyer that i just made and i needed a place to host it cause photbucket's a bitch...

Monday, February 26, 2007

Fuck IKEA



and the rest of swedes...

yay for this brilliant asians!

tuesday and wednesday night...

i've got things for you to do tomorrow and wednesday night...

tuesday, at quai des brumes, RAP MAUDIT's second edition... it's a slam party that was launched by Seba (gatineau) and Khyro (attach tatuq) last month and since heidy was dj'ing, i went with her... it was awesome and i urge you to come tomorrow if you're into hip hop and freestylin'... last time was really impressive... 5$, starts at 21h...i'm going, but i also have tickets for l'OSM (les fleurons de l'école russe)... heidy can't come cause she's spinning again, so i got a ticket for whoever wants to come with me. call me. pay me a beer after.

wednesday, also at quai des brumes, BLEUBIRD's cd launch... i discovered bleubird at the first rap maudit... he was seriously the most impressive and most talented of all the mc's there that night and his show be off the hook wednesday... i don't know how much but it should be around 5-10$...

korova last night

this is what you missed!!!!

They're Baaaack!


Vernissage this Thursday!

Galerie Yellow Fish
3684 St-Laurent
À partir de 17h

Shoddy film of a shoddy road




I know that there's better footage of this out there. But this is my footage. If you can make out anything in this mess of pixels, you might figure out that this road won't be found between Notre-Dame-Auxiliatrice-de-Buckland and St-Patrice-de-Beaurivage.

I should mention that the way down was far scarier but I was too busy shitting myself to do any sightseeing.

Enjoy.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Ram's Birthday-Dethday Bash!

Hold on to your Gabonese-yarmukles kids!



The format of my party has been established and set in stone.

Imagine if you had a one of those neat milkshake mixers for moment. Now, in your imagination, mix a bit of nationalities, their foodstuffs and some costumes. The resulting masala is the jist of my parté. Capice?

Wear one article and one dish from your choosen nationality. You can be creative as well. For example, Slapmaster J could choose China and bring some pâté chinois and wear one of those funny rice-picking hats. Or not.

FRIDAY 9 MARS
20H13

le traditionnel coup de barre

attention à la choucroute aux fruits de mer!!!

I hear there's a new law to be voted on in the next Assemblée Nationale that if you don't watch les têtes à claques you are not a quebecker.



I would also like you to know that this video was evidently made by some dude filming his computer screen. Bless his dear low-quality made-in-Québec soul.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Tiger showed me this..

Funniest one I've ever seen.

R.I.P

Music to Hair by


Hey you guys!!!!

Anybody know of a good place to get your haircut?

I need one.

Badly.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Moi non plus.

1 parmis 148 000 sur youtube



Je ne peux pas m'empêcher de partager ces conneries!!!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Le Tableau à Flèches

c'est vraiment très interressant.

Amateur - Lasse Gjertsen

you know when you see something and you tell yourself "it's so fucking simple! i'm must be an idiot for not thinking about it any earlier!!!"? well.... that's how i feel right now...

les jouets jean-michel c'est sensationnel!!!



Now I feel bad for having wished this so much in the past




Newsflash: Clowns shot dead


Click on the link above for the story



Work, shmork


There are renovations going on at work and I've been forced to build myself a little office in a corner, as you can see in this picture. So my desk is a filing cabinet and my shelves are empty boxes! And Berg's says they're high class!

But working there is actually pretty damn chill. No stress, no deadlines, just my ipod to accompany my paper pushin'. If only I could do something about those constant static electricity shocks...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Hey Trebek!



Think about it.

shameless promo...



The dress to kill party is gonna be real good!!! i know it's at mile end, but my friend's promoting it and it'l be awesome, seriously! good dj's and good people... 5$ it you style it up a bit...
Then... on sunday, as you all know by now, i'm hosting weekends never end with heidy... it'll be the fourth edition and for those of you who weren't there last weekend (that means all of you..) you missed a hell of a fucking party that went on until 4 am... and then later, as john (our good bartender) kept it going on after we left... we had a packed and steady dancefloor from something like 12:30 until 4am. we also had specials, of which i wasn't aware until i got there, but the specials will be maintained this weekend: 2 beers for 5$ and (possibly) simple mixed drinks (ie: gin-tonic, vodka-cran, etc.) for only 2$...
wild wild wild...
stay tuned cause next week will be even crazier, with fun activities on tuesday and wednesday...
to now defunkt salaud charogne:
banque nationale keeps calling about your mastercard. call them back calisse: 514-985-3440

can't wait to see you this weekend

be sure to wear a box on your head

Here we go again folks...

IT'S TIME WE HAD ANOTHER PARTY GODDAMMIT!
Theme: "I quit my job. Let's drink!"
Special guest: Salaud Charogne from Ontario
Where and When: Friday, Feb 23 as of 9 pm at Ana Bananaz's
6139 Esplanade.
Please confirm asap..

Monday, February 19, 2007

and now, for a bit more Irony














The class is called "Seamanship and Navigation" and one day after I changed my name to Shipwreck, I just fucked up the final exam that might just stop me short of realizing my dream.

Absolutely no joke.

But still funny.

From somebody else's point of view.


If I do fail, I shall eat raw ground beef until my eyes bleed and I die in convulsions and bloody spews coming out of my every orifices.

Monthly Contribution


G.I joe 25th aniversary~!


up for auction:
  1. Baroness
  2. Scarlett
Bids start at..... well, what's it worth to ya~!?

Osti que ca tache le sperme

So I'm coming over this friday.
Of course I'm expecting a decent welcoming, with the usual drinking and copulating with festering stuff.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Surprise!

Can you guess what this JD was writing on the wall ?

Abominable!!





Je crois que mes facultés de locution ne suffiront jamais pour bien exprimer le profond dédain que je ressens envers ces annonces.

Voici ce qu’elles me communiquent :
- La STM cherche incessamment à nous faire chier
- Une firme de marketing a été victime de la relève d’un neveu incompétent
- Certains gestionnaires sont vraiment, mais vraiment déconnectés de la réalité
- Le Québec est une économie du premier monde avec une mentalité du tiers-monde
- Certains CA aimeraient que les fenêtres du 23ème étage puissent s’ouvrir depuis que leur titre a soudainement perdu toute crédibilité
- Il est encore acceptable d’agir honteusement pour répondre à une naïveté fictive.
- L’utilisation du transport en commun mérite le châtiment sensoriel (voir le premier point)

Voici ce qu’elles ne parviennent pas à me communiquer :
- Les CA sont cool faisant en sorte que les CA en devenir sont des cools en devenir
- Être CA est la mode avant-garde de 2007 à Montréal qui n’atteindra pas bientôt son apogée faute d’être émulée excessivement par le reste de la planète. Cette mode implique le port de lunettes fumées et d’un chapeau de proxénète
- Un comptable sur 4 est une minorité visible.
- Travailler 70 heures par semaine pour deux mois à chaque fin d’année fiscale jusqu’à la retraite n’entraîne aucunement le vieillissement prématuré, la possession d’un postérieur en forme de chaise de bureau, la perte de toute passion libidineuse ou créative, la dépression ou même l’absence totale d’un sentiment de réalisation de soi malgré la nouvelle auto et la maison en banlieue.

Je n’ai rien contre les comptables. Je crois qu’ils ont été victimes de ce genre de carnaval publicitaire insensé à travers les années. Cependant, cette nouvelle approche manque tellement de substance et de subtilité que je crois que plusieurs jeunes vont pouvoir s’échapper à ce joueur de flûte de Hamelin.

Cependant, même si cette campagne cesse, nous aurons encore à endurer cet abus commercial qui s’appelle Jonas.






hopefully i'll get "the eye" from her tonight

Torche


So, I, huh, was at the the green coloured living room and upon exiting the lavatory I was met by a bunch of eager "fat chicks".

And, wow!, were they eager! One of them even gave me the eye! I ain't talking no 'she looked at me', she gave me the EYE!

20cents even told me: "Fonce dans le tas!"

Which I found way too funny!

Needless to say, they moved out and shifted direction. Thank god for my unsoiled underpants.


Funny how the worst failure in the game of love can still find it in himself to laugh at others.

hahaha!

I'm confused. Should I laugh at myself first, or those other losers? Or just drink my piss?

Friday, February 16, 2007

Shipwreck (updated version 10)




Hector X. Delgado and born in Chula Vista, California. He is a sailor in the US Navy. He grew up near the San Diego Navy Yards. He enlisted in the Navy as soon as he was able. He participated in patrolling and engaged in action in the Mekong Delta and served on carrier operations in the Middle East before joining the G.I. Joe Team.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Presets + Reading


So I decided to give Trebek's trendoid bands a chance and I'm checking out the Presets myspace and I'm like reading the index of this book, and it totally fits together! It's like an intellectual's Wizard of Oz + Pink Floyd!

Check out these titles to chapters:

"Figures of Abstractions, tableaux of life"

"Bodies and Symbols, Blood and Milk"

"Global Formation : From the Oecumene to Planet Exploitation"

sweet!

Piernitas! Someone stole our dildo chair patent (well, sort of)

Relief.....

Hey...I QUIT MY JOB!!!!!! YEAAAAAH!
So I'm glad I finally figured out how to publish comments cuz TRUST ME, I'll be joining in on the "action".
And by the way, for all the other jobbless people out there who wanna pointlessly hang out during the day, CALL ME!
Love always,
ANA BANANA

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

La 8ieme conjonction.








Chers necessiteux de l'errudition,

je fais zaujourd'hui appel au bassin creatif sans fond de votre imagination collective afin de trouver la clef au probleme qui m'asticote l'esprit depuis quelques jours. C'est que voyez-vous, la plus pertinente langue au monde ne m'a jamais decu quant a la multitude de mots disponibles pour decrire tous les concepts jamais inventes par l'Homme (les micro-hommes aussi bien sur, mais dans le but d'alleger le texte, je me bornerai a les inclure dans la globalite). Ainsi, de l'ectropion jusqu'aux scrofules en passant par les invagines de ce monde, aucune idee n'a su jusqu'a ce jour echapper a l'attribution d'un nom commun definissant sa nature et son genre. Aucune? Non. Un petit concept resiste encore et toujours a la denomination francaise. Cette abstraction, vous l'aurez deviner, consiste en l'intersection entre la conjonction et l'union de deux circonstances ou objets. La locution "et/ou" qui par son indispensable et donc repandu utilisation se declare a la Rhetorique Francaise comme le pustule graisseux sabotant l'autrement impeccable visage d'une science sans faille. Je propose aujourd'hui de crever ce furoncle infect en trouvant une fois pour toute la huitieme conjonction de coordination qui servira a remplir ce vide effarant dans le riche et onctueux repertoire de notre vocabulaire bien-aime.

Evidemment, afin de conserver intacte la parfaite symetrie de notre noble et harmonieux langage, il faudra que notre nouveau mot se resume comme toutes les autres conjonctions de coordination a une seule syllabe.

Les Chintoks

So I was at work the other day and Livingstone shows up in the office. He's a black guy who works in receiving. I ask him how he's doing, and he's like: "Working like a whiteman for a blackman's pay!"


hahaha!

I was about to add: "Still better than working like a Chinaman for a Chinaman's pay". But then common sense prevailed.

Happy snowday!!!



25-40 cm... and can you believe they already closed some schools today? i mean, it is going to snow, doesn't mean we have to close the schools to get ready mentally... i'm telling you, this society's going down the drain!!!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The others

I am posting this picture as evidence proving, once and for all,
that I am NOT crazy and that these things really are happening!!



 

Web 2.0 ... The Machine is Us/ing Us

Back in all its glory!




We have succesfully retrieved the pictures of that mysterious 12 foot cock that mysteriously appeared in the street 2 winters ago. I still wonder how many man-hours it must have taken to build. And to honor what god or overseer? It boggles my mind even today. Is it some new thai holiday that's been enacted by the municipality to even things out with the whole YMCA-synagogue kerfuffle? (which, now that I think about it, hadn't happened yet).

To what do we owe this great papier-maché obelisk of masculinity?

Monday, February 12, 2007

AAAACCCCCHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!



The police are coming to Mtl the 25 of July! The tickets are going to be on sale this Saturday but I won’t be here! I CAN'T MISS THIS SHOW! HELP!

Amresh B-Day Bash!

Yohoho! Yes, the rumours are true. Friday 9th of March, my birthday will be celebrated disgraciously. Deliciously disgraceful.

I also invited these guys.



NOT!

In other news... (updated: no datarock for the presets, numéro# for lo-fi fnk)



The Presets the preset's myspace are gonna be in montreal on wednesday march 28 at Petit Campus with montreal's own Dandi Wind dandiwind's myspace (equally if not more awesome!)...
not to be missed....
i am also very tormented because on the same night, lo-fi fnk lo-fi fnk's myspace will be playing at lambi and montreal's numéro# numéro#'s myspaceare gonna open for them... fuck fuck fuck!!!!




tickets for the presets are on sale now at cafe campus, atom heart and cheap thrills...
i don't know about tickets for lo-fi-fnk yet...

i need help.. please?

ok, so mcgill and concordia are gonna be on break starting next weekend, which means that i need to drag them to korova sunday night cause they won't have much to do monday morning and will most likely be looking for something to do on sunday night... does anyone on here go to either one of these universities and if so, would you like to help me promote my night this week? it'd be muchly appreciated. i'll give you flyers and some booze next sunday.
thanks

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Plumbing Is Sexy -- Again!



Spiderrrrrrrrrrrr!

pssst, if you listen carefully, you can hear sexy music in the backround.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Can you believe this is Courtney Love?



Oh and I cannot stop thinking about Anna Nicole.

The summer is magic, is magic, owa oh!



Watch out Edward Norton here comes a real illusionnist.


Someone's been reading "Amresh's Bible to Girls" a little too much.

GMO


I told you genetically modified food was a very cute, yet very bad idea!

Friday, February 9, 2007

But...

Only if you can guess who this dude is.

Another Blast from the Past!


Contest!!!!!!!!!

Who's this as a young'un?

Winner gets a free

Too Cute!


This picture of baby Salaud was too cute for me not to share it with you!

Thursday, February 8, 2007

when you gotta surf... you gotta surf...

shiiiiiiiit....

Fart mask


This is what bored guys do in their freetime... and become millionnaire...

Les étudiants en com



Et bien voilà quelqu'un qui se cherche dans la vie!

Le pire vidéo E-VER



The guy was a huge rock icon and ruined his carrer with this video!

Anna-Nicole Smith


she's dead.... oh well.... who cares.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Not Gay!

Ted Haggard gives a demonstration on his FORMERLY favorite gay sex positions.


music that'll make you weep...

Oops!

Guess what happens when a drunken Michelin man puts on the wrong kind of rubber...




...alimony.

William Murderface


"I'd rather die than go to heaven."

i love breakfast with amresh




i am the only one flabbergasted by the size of that wrap

good times

Poor Puri

That video post was about as funny as a dead clown.


Funny Guy! Funnier Name.



I'll spare you the quotes for now.

Amresh Revealed

Well, as it turn out, I knew someone at the clown party that Amresh attended in order to try and score some chocolate. I managed to get my hands on an actual picture of him that night.

No wonder he couldn't score.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007




Isn't she pretty?

Some Guys


Just go too far trying to have sex with a beautiful girl. Pathetic.