Le sosie de Amresh Puri (le gars a droite)

Nouvelle théorie de l'univers

L'univers n'est ni en expansion, ni en régression. Il est en suspension, comme le confirme l'image suivante.

Etiquette

Hey guys, so, huh, how do we or how have you been dealing with talking to others about the blog? We just pass the link around or it's best to keep it "private"? Yes I realize that it's on the internet.

The astrology killer

Taken in The New Yorker, Woody Allen writes good stories!

"The Astrology Killer was a vicious maniac who liked to sneak up and bash people’s heads in while they were yodelling. He was tough to nab because there was so much sympathy for him."

read full text here:

Getting political

"If there is one more item of Uzbek propaganda claiming that we do not drink fermented horse urine, give death penalty for baking bagels, or export over 300 tonnes of human pubis per year, then we will be left with no alternative but to commence bombardment of their cities with our catapults," Actual quote given by Borat to the official american media in front of the fucking white house or something... Je venere cet homme.

Goldorak's Death

This is a painting of my insanely talented friend Emilie Fournier.
I know her, I can prove it, we used to be friends at the bank, its true. So yeah, she's my friend, and she makes those insane pictures. She's my friend, and she'll be a celebrity for sure. I'm letting you guys in on this one because I like you and its so beautiful. I think its worth at least 15375.00$. And its huge too, 4 feet by 8, Crickey ! Thats like about 34 square feet or something ! Crazy I tell you. She dont name her paintings so I took the liberty to give it the name in title.

Slight Disturbance

How very disturbing it is to see yourself on film when you have absolutely no recollection of the performed acts.
My name is Emile, and I'm an alcoholic.

Best party ever!

This one is from the party when we celebrated Émile's return. 19 Bernard, Good Times!

Jager Styles

Posting

See, I was going to add a post, then I read Salaud's last one, and, uh, huh, I don't know what to say OR write...

Jager Terror

Thanks to my little magic herb mixture, I am now on the seneca college probation list ! Yes ! They accepted me after I tackled a guy to the floor and beat the shit out of him, swung a knife in a guy's face and warned the residence staff about me being a dangerous montreal freak which scared them into calling the cops with whom I argued I was not a terrorist ! All while being filmed by the rez cameras ! Yes ! Its all on film !

The Chechen topic

This is what people do in Chechnya... they dance. can you believe it? and they fight with guns too... now that's a fuckin' paradox!!! you'd figure they'd just dance it out...

Suits, 'staches and Sluts?

It's all up to you! I'll be wearing mine. And yes, I got this pic from gaystud.ru

BIRTHDAY PARTY AT THE 19

the date of this party is VENDREDI LE 29 SEPTEMBRE 2006

As you all should know it is Piernitas' and Amoïd's birthday this week. Piernitas is one year closer to death on the 27th of September, whereas Amoïd, like fine wine, gets one year better on October 1st.

PARTY ON!

Survey says the theme is SUITS AND SLUTS. Be inspired.

Rock on 19

WANTED! Dead or Alive

If you see this man, do not approach him! He eats like a whale and he is liable to suck you in. Be careful as his versatility is unmatched! He can breath underwater!

Sarah goes to a Sens game

god... i should have kept looking...

forget the other post... this is way better AND it's addictive! you thought seinfeld, curb your enthusiasm and arrested development were funny? You are nothing but nonchalant lepers! lepers whose eyes and ears have fallen off long ago... and now that i've insulted you like never before, you should listen to me and do as i say...
behold YACHT ROCK!!!!

now that's cinema!!!!

Why?? because it's Indian cinema dumbo!!! check out michael jaksonirskiram...
michael jaksonirskiram

Where would you go?

Did you all know that under "post options" you can change the time of your post...

Outside analysis

This guy here, is fat. He is also "phat" but he is not stupid. He is a prima donna... he doesn't play wall ball, or with his balls, he saves that for the cassionette player. He plays with a stick, he is the master of the stick... he must eat corn, look at that mouth, he doesn't have any teeth from gnawing on so much corn

What a pleasure to see this ol' thing alive and kicking again.

I discovered that Wall Ball was played in Roman Times and called Expulsim Ludere. That should definitely appear on the Federation's crest.

Also, I discovered that I am late for class.

Bye!

Montréal

Montréal has been in the news as of late, but did you know that it is also one of the most beautiful cities in the world? Yes, indeed. Why I need no further proof that this picture.

Corn On The Curb

Here's a little piece of history from the first 19 Bernard crew. Nothing like shucking corn on garbage day. Mmmmm....corn and garbage.

Socrates was a fatty.

I think that is a good enough reason never to listen to anything he ever had to say.

The Appropriateness of Life

Dear Salaud,

If ever you were looking for proof that life was indeed appropriate and correct, I have it right here. Last I heard from you, you were looking for your comforter. I found it. In a garbage bag.

-Amresh

p.s. Stop brushing your teeth with dog shit.

Happy Day

Wallballprisonballhandball

Fun!

About 5 minutes without oxygen before your Brains start to die

arg ! The sentiment of plenitude is totalidad !
Je suis si beatitude, I can feel it in my ear.
Quelle agreabilite de tant savoir faire aquatique !
arsh ! Je viendre dans le bientot donc en attendre, trinquer pour le salud.
Oufsh.

I SAID ON FRIDAY, I AM COMINGUE TO LE MONTREAL. PREPARE ME SOMETHING PLEASE, AT LE 19 DE PREFERENCE. I COMPTER ON YOU. THANK YOU.
that is all.

arsh... and now back to joyeur de vivre.

Has anyone seen a lebanese alpha-male lately?

What the fuck is Emile doing? He said he'd help us keep this thing alive!!! Don't they have computers under water? Has he met a shrimp or something? I don't have his picture here so I'll just post a picture of what he must look like.

Good parenting.

smart.

i love fatties

This one beats all the fatsoes you can post. It's the ultimate tub of lard.

The beauty about fatties

Is that they have a great sense of humour. This man, right here, is a mothafuckin' genius. If you ask me, which you did not.

fat kids make me laugh. LolOlOllOloloL

they do... i mean, look at them!

funny anagrams for all

Dormitory: Dirty Room
Schoolmaster: The classroom
Elvis: Lives
Clint Eastwood: Old West Action
Western Union: No Wire Unsent
The Country Side: No City Dust Here
Desperation: A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code: Here Come Dots
Slot Machines: Cash Lost in'em
Conversation: Voices Rant On
Heavy Rain: Hire a Navy
Tom Cruise: So I'm Cuter
Mother-in-law: Woman Hitler
Funeral: Real Fun
Snooze Alarms: Alas! No More Z's
A Decimal Point: I'm a Dot in Place
Statue of Liberty: Built to Stay Free
Eleven plus two: Twelve plus one
Mel Gibson: Bong Smile
David Letterman: Nerd Amid Late TV
Howard Stern: Retard Shown
Debit card: Bad Credit

keep it alive!

why are we letting this blog die?

I'm introducing a new topic so that those of you lacking creative impulses can find your place within this realm.

Here's my contribution: Did you know that "Butterflies" were originally called "Flutterbys"?

challenge: beat that

The Dawson shooter?

Mohawk!!! Note that this AP photo was taken in the summer so the trenchcoat would have been pointless, and well, unstylish.

Kids

Ya gotta love 'em!

hahaha! He's fat too!

Fun

You know what's awesome? Posting other people's pics. Without their permission. No, don't act all surprised like buddy here. Everyone's doing it.

Newsflash!

Yo. I just found out that drinking and staying up late on Sunday evening is not conducive to being productive on Monday. Can anyone tell me why? In other news, nothing.

people hate other people in this town... really? really!

This has got to be one of the funniest blogs i've read so far... well maybe not but it's pretty funny! That, and I just feel very Montreal-o-centric today.

Mysore

Here is a picture of the palace at night in Mysore. Note to those of us going to India this week, it is illuminated like this only on Sunday evening. I like to think the architect tried to recreate the eternal beauty of my 'trout', ie my caca. Further understanding of my last sentence can be grasped in this phrase: "Oh man, I hate too much mexican, I really have to drop some trout." Or trou' pour les intimes.

Cintres

Criss, Émile, kess t'a fais avec mes cintres?

volur.

Tu as même volé le 'e' de volur!

tabarnak!

-Amresh Puri

Brave men die young.

Salut les aminches,
je suis vraiment triste aujourd'hui, alors pas de calembredaines.
J'ai utilise mes connaissances en actuariat et j'ai calcule que les chances que Mr Erwin meurt d'un coup de queue de raie etait d'environ 1 sur 3. Vous me direz que je fabule, mais je vous dirai que non et que ceux qui peuvent comprendre comprennent. C'est que la vie s'acharne a se la nous rendre absurde et y a rien a comprendre. Tout de meme, la queue de la raie mortelle (pas la raie, la queue, imbeciles), c'est vraiment quelque chose. Je ne savais pas qu'une raie combinee avec une queue pouvait provoquer la mort instantanee. Raie + Queue = Deces
Comme vous aurez pu le constater, y en a marre de l'anglophonie alors j'affiche en francais maintenant. Ca fait maintenant une journee que je suis avec les ontariens demander alors casse toi.Ils sont pas mal moins chiants que je pensais. A part les filles, les filles honte aryenne sont chiantes.

Montreal

Hey Guys! I'm back! Yeehaw! Badalida!

Hello? Guys? DOES ANYONE CARE?

fuck.

snif, swig, puff.....

check out this youtube crap... hilariousness...

PhAt PaRtY!!!!! BLopBlOPblOpIouUIIOOOOBBBUUUIOO!!!!!

yeah... the party was fun... i just hate to see this blog die though so i'm posting gibberish. jsdjnvlzslkhèlièlikcfèihjùùdèihscèknlùzékcnxèinhzxcjnzéxcjknè;lishdèonùaéc.knéz.xcjknèllljknéknzxcknkxnckz;icxdèkidsàèik騨cx;jc;jkbkjb.zcbhshjbdhfbljxhbvjvhclzhc;zclzhbc,hzgflusdloùèéojasèèjikùèéaiséhuAGstùsrxgzvxcvzcj,hszvx,jzcxhjbzareyoustillreading??kljns;djh;adsfjb;jznxc;kuhsd;fjnézsdjnf;lkzndfkv.jn.zsdv .jk«»¢b.kjbsdécnszkl.léll;ajszùsùsdjbhnsdf>ªc,zhbsvdfyoumustbegreek!!!jbsdz.j.jzbsdcv.jkbz.dsfjb.zjdsbfv.jbsd.fjkbk.bcfjé.∆»ª∫¢v.jdh.kfcjbz.,msdjvbchjvhvncmnbjbhmbxnhlk..cllxjklfnck,xnd,hjvbl,hjxdbc,n.jbzkdjhdhjzbc ,.jkbdcv,bjn.zjcé.kjbds.cj.zjxcnéjzxc.kjbz.sjkdb.kzjbsc.khjvbldzjfbélkzndckjbdécklnéldkfnéjkbzdc,jdfjeanmichelsotiron;éasklndf;ihnszd.fkjhn;zkdfvkné. »√˚ ihd f.kjhc; zfh ;fh;ks dfhlkszejh;kjèékljd;éskhn;kjùbadsfjhbksksjlkznsjbszjcbjzscnzscljn .ajsdkjnlzs;jknbjksdnfjzbcdfokenoughofthisbullshit.k