Friday, January 8, 2010

To Shell with it

Dear 19,

you know, We complain a lot about Our generation's apathy and lack of any kind of awareness or care towards every aspects of life ...
This generalised state of willing ignorance and severe cynicism is enough to make Us fantasise about massacre and crucifixions by the masses, and Our existence is somehow a little tainted by these unhealthy fancies. As years go by, We feel We should move on to a wiser take on life and the human specie in particular, but unfortunately, We only seem to be growing closer to the day of the concretization of Our mental problems, and "maturity" (this ever ungraspable concept usually spoken of by people who will never know its true meaning) is sadly drifting away from Us.

Anyhow, yesterday was a day of immense relief for Us and our daily psychological struggle against the north-american. Yesterday might even have been the greatest day in our life so far, for yesterday saw the abrupt cutting of 20% of Our beloved city's air pollution (look it up).

After 75 years of ravaging the eastern face of our island, the Shell refinery is no more.
This industrial mega-monster is finally dead.
And even though this calamity was paying 500 millions dollars in municipal tax every year, and was employing about 500 full time workers (without counting the 100s of contracters and all the other losers such as the security guards for example), I can only rejoice and celebrate in this new era of a 20% less polluted Montreal.
Of course this closure bears bad news for my ennemies the car drivers, another reason for me to celebrate. This is better than the new year, this is the new Era my friends.
I love this city even more now.
Cause That thing was a huge monstrosity.

I wonder what they'll do with the hole it will leave.

So I'll be celebrating starting tonight, and continuing Saturday night.
Tell me if you're interested to join me.

End of Shell Montreal baby. Its important. Its a fucking great thing.


Karl Hungus said...

I, like you , am very happy about this as well. But my happiness is bitter-sweet. And this is why:

1- I really hope Shell takes good care of the 500 employees it is laying off, I really do. Unemployment in Montreal is already at 8%.

2- One of the reasons they closed is due to Global competition. Apparently, many Asian countries are able to produce close to the same amount for the same price. This means more petrol being shipped back and forth across our oceans, therefore many accidents waiting to happen.

3- This means Quebec is going to start importing, giving companies a reason to raise prices once more: another burden on the poor. (you know the gas companies raised the price of gas over the holiday long week-ends because they knew more people were driveng? Fuckers).

And by the way, they are transforming the plant into a petrol distribution point. About 30 of the 550 employees will be keeping their jobs.

Karl Hungus said...

Oh, and the East of the island was ravaged because winds tend to blow West-East, keeping the majority of the island smog and smell free.

Dementor said...

Of course my joy was completely fabricated on oversimplified data, and thats how I like my excuses to drink.

1- Come on. Shell? Take good care of people? You gotta be kidding. Dont worry about these guys man, I've seen who they are. They almost all drove mustangs and Suvs. Its Karma man. They'll probably just move their petrole loving asses to Alberta, where they belonged in the first place.

2- Of course, overall, things will get worse before they get better, but thats still 20% less pollution for us.

3- Let the poor 'discover' the bicycle, like I did two years ago.

Dementor said...