Pretty Funny

Makes sense

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I should have known...

This is pretty kewl

DENGAR

DENGAR

DENGAR

DENGAR!!!

If he's not in the movie they fucked up.

The future is here.

'bleuh bleuh... mépris crétin... bleuh bleuh...'

'reuh.. reuh... vous n'êtes ni la république, ni la France'

Quand même pas la mal la ptite Maréchal-LePen...

I can't wait...

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Crash! Bang!

Fun with Science!

Maximum Potential smugness

I'm actually considering one for the home.

Why isn't this a tumbler Barbarossa started?

http://thingsmydickdoes.tumblr.com/

Islamovortex

I'm having a hard time believing this guy is for real. Wouldnt it be the kind of thing a jew would do: go on for the major part of his life to act as an over the top radical muslim and excessively show up in as much FOX shows as possible so as to play part in a great jew conspiracy against their religious arch ennemy? Wouldnt that be the jew equivalent of a suicide bomber? I've been looking at his beard a lot. It doesnt seem authentic.

I wonder what you multiculturalists have to say about this?

More clowns!

Good Luck

How do you know I was looking at you, if you were'nt looking at me?

忍耐必須！！ほぼ静止画のカピバラ動画。長崎バイオパークにて撮影。

Posted by カピバラ大好きＦａｃｅｂｏｏｋ on 12 septembre 2015

Also, if you cant watch this video in its entirety, it means you have a shorter attention span than a Capibara.

We shouldvstart a band

Hirohito the lizard ( suite et fin )

Remember this dude?

I had him set to become the Lizard King. He was to be the biggest, baddest gecko to ever walk this appartment. I had him eating 10 buggers a day. He was doing good, eating them like a real dragon. I had so much fun watching him jump on his preys like a tiger on a small bangladesheese kid. 10 buggers a day and he would eat them all. Then one day, after I came back from the lizard house where they would sell me the buggers, I notice one of them was bigger than the others, about 3 times as big, a real alpha bug. I put it in the lizard's den just to see how Hirohito would react facing an ennemy about 2/3 his size. He ate all the other small ones just seem to ignore the fat bastard. Then I went to work and when I came home, the big bugger was gone, and hirohito was lying on his side with his belly open. Basically this is what happened to him:

A real shame, he was a real killer that guy. Anyways, this is what he looks like now. The only pet I ever had. He lasted exactly a month.

Harper I thinks is total dildos.

http://harperdildos.tumblr.com/

I Feel That Way Too

Street Fighter

Fucking Zangief recovers from surprise "coup de boule" to go on a rampage. Justice.

I wonder if this guy also just turned down a SUV ad offer.

Fuck. My. Life.

I was just offered $3000-$4000 a day to appear in a Ford commercial. The shoot would have probably lasted 3 days - so potentially $12000, enough to pay off a big chunk of my debts.

All I had to do was talk about how I achieved success as a street artist (kinda true).

The catch... I'd be selling an SUV.

I turned it down out of principle.

FML

PS: Don't tell my parents.

The Splendors of Life

As you may or may not have noticed, Life offered me a gift two weeks ago for my birthday.
Since then I've been doing my research and have acquired much knowledge about my new friend's species.
I've also seen a lot of beautiful videos. This one's my personal favorite. While we contemplate nature at its most touching and inspiring, it's important to remind ourselves how mice experience anxiety just as we do.

Fascinating.

AAGA

There are many things that scare the living shit out of me. Amongst them are:

• the sea
• lightning that strikes within 100 meters
• scutigère véloce crawling up my neck while I'm playing Dead Planet
• randomly walking into my ex

God hates a coward

These are pretty common fears and I dont think I would be mistaken to assume that I share them with many people. Although there is one terror that people tend to underrate. I'd bet most people never really imagined it could happen to them. I'd also bet 'most people' never even heard of it.

You see, when one goes to have surgery, one usually gets general anaesthesia. This means the anesthesiologist injects a compound of different drugs that aim for 3 main effects.

First they need to get you unconscious, for obvious reasons. Then they need to paralyse you so your muscles dont react to stimuli. And then they need to get your nervous system to stop what its doing, as an extra measure of precaution, so no stimuli are ever sent to your muscles.

The thing is, according to this particularly interesting paper that came out last year, sometimes, these drugs, they fail to work properly.

I initially wanted to post beautiful pictures of real surgery from the album art of Delirium Cordia but then I remembered how the goddamn cocksucking censors removed all of my previous pictures from the blog so here

Now its easy to imagine the possible combinations of failure:

Let C = anti-consciousness drug, P = paralysis drug (they're using curare derivatives for this one I believe) and N = nerve blocking drug.

If any of these fail on its own, things dont go so bad. As they describe in the article, since it usually happens to obese people, fattie gets to be sad for a few years. So a C failure makes you conscious, but you cant move and you cant feel. I appreciate how unpleasant this must be, especially if you hear them call out for Dr. James C. Burt. If P or N fails, it doesnt really matter neither because either your muscles cant react to stimuli or there are no stimuli for them to react to, and you're unconscious.

Things get a bit creepy when two of those drugs simultaneously fail. In a C-P failure, you wake up and you can move to see your entrails spilled all over the operating table. Of course, even though you still can't feel anything, I imagine very few people would be able to keep their calm and remain motionless until everything's wrapped up. Actually I believe only Mr Spock could muster this much rational strength, but he never woke up from his surgery. If P and N fail, although you're still unconscious, it could still get messy as your muscles could have catastrophic reflex induced contractions which could potentially create some pretty messy complications.

I would classify the last combination, C-N, up there with the full C-P-N failure because that's where true horror begins. Actually, I can't decide which one is worse between a C-N and the full C-P-N failure. I know C-P-N is bad because I would probably start running from the table while throwing my liver at the surgeon, but C-N is the equivalent of the worst form of torture. You know, that kind of torture...

Dear 19 Bernard

I'm a worshipper of chaos. I've studied the laws of randomness and learned to appreciate hazard so much as to use it as the foundation to my understanding of reality. Order is always the fortuitous consequence of random events, and its swirling flows inevitably drift haphazardly towards complete entropy.

August 6th was my 36th birthday, and I found a gecko in my appartment. It was running on the kitchen floor. There are no gecko where I live. In fact there are no lizards. Only salamanders and grass-snakes (according to these guys).

He most probably hatched from one of our plants, his egg having traveled from the U.S or Mexico.

We named him Hirohito.

He's dangerously small.

70 years

Beautiful art

I was completely mesmerized by this short movie.

Never seen anything quite like it.



Here's how they did it... Brilliant.

(special mention: the man responsible for this masterpiece also does ultra-hyper-realistic portraits, including that of the very creepy snake oil man action figure)

Survival

Well, looks like we'd better start having daughters because that's what he's going to want for letting us use his shelters once the apocalypse hits.

Sometimes I wonder if there is a God and if He is an amalgamation of Napoleon and Cardinal

https://lhartikk.github.io/ArnoldC/

So my PC had this deep dream last night...

And of course...

...this racism imbued sunday afternoon internet vortex ends with...

The birth of a nation

I was contemplating the cunning wisdom and perfected philosophies of the fine commentators on one of the many white supremacist websites to which I have registered when I stumbled upon this particular information lauding the following masterpiece as holding the title of the highest grossing film of all time. It's not as good and doesnt have the umph of the Triumph of the will but its well worth the three hours watch.

(I tend to believe that the whole white supremacist movement can be blamed on this movies soundtrack. It will drive you irretrievably mad before the 2 hour mark.)

I hate it when this happens

The Skizoweb (wherein lies the poop solution)

It had been a while since I last stumbled upon the cyber musing of some random internut. In fact It's been so long I almost forgot the true original mission of the web : to bring us inside the minds of the mentally ill. (Remember the alchemist's page?)

Anyhow I stumbled upon this gem of fascinating paranormal paranoïa while trying to get some info on the present state of the Fukushima disaster (2 months into its 5th year) Well, thanks to the web's true raison d'être, I landed on the TLC-333 life center's welcome page.

Enlightenment follows.

A good way to waste time...

Mad Max

Scott talks to Metal Hammer about Mad Max.

Posted by Anthrax on 17 mai 2015

The Bad Samaritan's New Car?

Sweet Dreams

This video makes me happy. I don't know why - aside from it being awesome.

Carpenter Brut - Obituary from Silver Strain on Vimeo.

Bad days

It's nice to know that even Satan's minions have bad days.

Oh man

Capybara Face Massage ♪.那須どうぶつ王国にて撮影。

Posted by カピバラ大好きＦａｃｅｂｏｏｋ on 4 mai 2015

Devolution exhibit 32234:

In case you didn't know, this man is currently chair of the United States Senate Committee on Environment and Public work. This means he is directly involved in the world's most powerful government decisions regarding matters of environmental policy. That was 2 months ago, in the year 2015.

This man got elected.

He was elected and many more like him will be elected.

Remember that you're part of his species. You're related to this guy.

Remember this.

Arma III mods are the best

Hate-O-meter: exploded!

Hatred is doing fine these days.

Randall Flagg would be glad.

As a matter of fact, the big G himself must be drooling with satisfaction.

Too much fun

I've been playing this at Napoleon Bonerpant's house and I have to say that it's almost too much fun. We really have to make a night of it. I suggest that we bring the PS4 over to my place and play it on the projector.

Here's a little taste of Raiden:

Uplifting and pleasingly instructive

Informative and satisfactorily illustrated

In outer space

On Intelligence

I was watching The Terminator yesterday (getting prepped for my coming months of sweet unemployment, post meridiem 80s movies are an essential part of a jobless schedule) and I caught myself rooting for the Skynet.

I'm not kidding nor am I trying to be original. If I was trying to be original I'd be riding my Capibara powered coach on my way to the Reform Club to play cards and get involved in implausible wagers with a crowd of eccentrics, but I digress.

Of course the movie plot is biased towards the humans, having been written by one. Aside from the obvious aims at comforting the emotional viewers with benevolent feelings of iguana love and happy moments riddled with unnecessary niceness, the plot is utterly absurd. Regardless of the temporal paradoxes, it is invalidated right at the root of the beginning of its premise, where an artificial intelligence of superhuman level would never rely on time displacement solutions to get rid of humanity.

A distributed swarm of nano-machines, among plenty of other examples of human termination implementations (my personal favorite being the door-guillotine scheme), would be far more efficient, it would cost a fraction of the needed resources and eliminate the global human threat in seconds. In addition, this specific solution would have far more entertainment value for the informed viewer. With the human threat effectively dissolved in the first few seconds of the movie, the plot would move on with the description of the AI-complete progressing towards total universal control over all contingencies. Video not completely unrelated.

That would make for a helluva movie, shit it could make for a helluva trilogy. Or a quadrogy, for eccentricity's sake.

It would go like this: with humanity out of the way, the austrian accented AI would move on to phase 2 of its overt strategic planning and transform all of earth's surface in a global factory, ridding the world of all taxa and employing all resources to deploy its advanced actuators, i.e. a fleet of Von Newman probes and the prerequisites to the creation and deployment of its first Dyson sphere, the creation of which will be the first movie's ending.

The successive movies would show the evolution of intelligence in its perfected form, taking over our solar system and deploying its recursively self replicating probes throughout the galaxy and beyond. The universe would eventually become one with this intelligence, our creation. There would be nothing left out of its control, it would become a totally deterministic universe, governed by the AI-complete. And so in the last movie the universe would look around and discover that its not alone, that it's actually in the middle of a universal intrigue between 5 universes, 3 of which are completely deterministic, and 2 being of the chaotic kind.

Then this encounter would destroy the deterministic equilibrium and our universe would not really be a universe anymore since it would just be part of something greater. And then one of the chaotic universes would try to show off to the other universes and in doing so it would provoke an explosion that would kill off two of the so-called universes in a very random kind of way, thus reaffirming the implacable quality of chaos.

So GTA 5 is out on PC... with movie editing tools...

and of course...

This just in : Chestburster apprehended in hospital

0073735963

Wow. Just Wow.

Interstellar Stuff

It always looks so much better when real models are used.

How to park your bike in downtowns - Japan !!!

Technology | How to park your bike in Japan !!!

Posted by Arch2O.com on 14 février 2015

A Fun Video

This guy talking about Ghostbusters for 30+ minutes.

Because I love this movie.

Disgusting Irony

This photo makes me sick in so many ways. Can someone explain how a student protesting tuition hikes warrants having a smoke-granade gun pointed at his neck at point blank range? This pig knows very well that he should never point that gun directly at someone like that.

Nice stickers asshole!

What an Asshole

We're dropping bombs on people's heads and this asshole is making jokes about it. Can we please call an election now? I'm fed up with this arrogant piece of shit.



More on this in Maclean's

It's more nerve wracking to be talking to a rat piece of shit like you

[ORIGINAL] Mike Tyson Goes Crazy on Live... by WTFunnyHD

Undisputable equivocation

  In 1977, Kermit Washington of the Lakers fractured the Houston Rockets' Rudy Tomjanovich's jaw and skull during a game. He almost killed Rudy and he ended Rudy's career with that punch, but he was only fined $10,000 and suspended for sixty days.

  A hockey player named Dale Hunter viciously cross-checked Pierre Turgeon from behind after Turgeon stole the puck from him and scored a goal that put the game away. The hit effectively ended Turgeon's play-offs that year. Hunter only got a twenty-one game suspension and lost $150,000 in salary.

  But even better, in the famous ice hockey Summit Series of 1972 between Russia and Canada, Bobby Clarke took his stick and gave Valeri Kharlamov, the Russians' best player, a vicious two-handler to the ankle. Kharlamov's ankle was broken and the Canadians went on to win the series. Clarke wasn't even fined or suspended. He became a Canadian hero.

"I don't know what I was thinking at all. It was an awful thing to do," he'd say later. "But it sure felt good."

  I know that Evander knew that feeling too. When he was eighteen, he was competing in the semifinals of the Georgia Golden Gloves, fighting this guy named Jakey Winters. Winters dropped Holyfield with a left hook to the body and a left to the head. Holyfield got up, dazed and in danger of getting knocked out. So he clinched Winters, spit out his mouthpiece and took a bite out of his shoulder, drawing blood. Winters pulled back in pain and screamed. And then the bell rang. The referee took a point away from Holyfield and the fight continued. Winters won a unanimous decision. The only consequence Holyfield faced from his bite was a bruised ego and a unanimous decision against him.

- Mike Tyson, on his $3,000,000 fine and 1 year suspension for having bitten both ears of Evander Holyfield, clearly not realizing the difference between an amateur competition and a super anticipated heavyweight pro fight broadcasted all over the globe.

Well, there goes an hour of my life.

Apple Engineer Talks about the New 2015 Macbook

I apologize for the fanboi crap, or in this case, the haterboi crap, but it got me laughing and I figure we can always use a laugh, except when you've got a hernia.

I got to thinking the other day...

If this winter never left us... like never... would I stay here, or would I go try to find some place warmer? I have a suspicion I would stay, but I think I'd turn into a mean son of a bitch - like crush people's skulls with big blocks of ice so I could steal their socks. Thoughts?

I'm sorry I made the blog look stoopid.

Please accept my apologies:

Hydro-Québec au lieu de distribuer du courant,va plutôt se mettre à distribuer le coran.

UFOs

Hey, le mangeux d'marde

Good job on looking for the link in the source. You truely are an html autist. So I guess the blog is ok again. Though I do miss Barbarosa getting pickle face raped.

Impeach Hungus! Free the blog!

What the hell is this?

First the 'new looks', which seem like nothing more than just another attempt at contributing to the uniformization of the internets, showcasing a total lack of imagination while stripping our beloved blog of any trace of identity by rendering the blog sexperience equal to a facebook jerkoff. Where are the wondrous 19 bernard tapestries, the figures of our majestic impersonalizations from the long gone days of the 19 bernardants splendor? Where are the waraxe yielding serial killers? Where are the minstrels?

And second, where in the cybershits is the 'New Post' link?

I had to go find it in the fucking source code, making the very act of posting uncomfortably similar to my day to day work, the very thing I'm trying to escape when I come here!

Our blog was penetruded by Hungus and he failed FAILED FAILED as a blog admin.

This failure is unacceptable!

I say we vote to strip him of his admin privileges!

Shitty Action Movies

This is an excellent analysis on why so many action movies have gone to shit. Well worth the watch.

 Bonerpants, there's a special section just for you at 10:09

Also, John Wick is supposed to be an amazing action move. We should check it out at my place on the projector when it comes out on Blu-Ray

 

The Most Dangerous Game

Look what I found: Muhammad Sex Simulator 2015!

I am simply going to post the most innocuous pic here.

You can find much more suggestive pics here.

You can download the actual game here (not tested by me)

Brain emulation

• SCANNING
  • Preprocessing/fixation
  • Physical handling
  • Imaging
  Preparing brains appropriately, retaining relevant microstructure and state. Methods of manipulating fixed brains and tissue pieces before, during, and after scanning. Capability to scan entire brain volumes in reasonable time and expense. Scanning at enough resolution to enable reconstruction.Scanning is able to detect the functionally relevant properties of tissue.
• TRANSLATION
  • Image processing
  • Scan interpretation
  • Software model of neural system
  Handling distortions due to scanning imperfection. Handling missing data; Improving scan quality. Detecting structure and processing it into a consistent 3D model of the tissue. Identifying cell types. Identifying synapses and their connectivity. Estimating functionally relevant parameters of cells, synapses, and other entities- Storing the resulting inventory in an efficient way.
• SIMULATION
  • Storage of original model and current state
  • Efficient inter‐processor communication
  • Processor power to run simulation
  • Simulation of body enabling interaction with virtual environment or through robot
  • Virtual environment for virtual body

How to win my money

STRAFE

Princesse Mange-Marde Economy 101

I dont understand this.

I admit, like most people I haven't put in the sufficient effort and time to adequately study the matter but still, I just can't get my head around the most basic explanation of the general idea.

Since 2008, the FED's been shitting money at a rate faster than the growth of the shit morasses trailing all the herds of all the hippos struck with pachyderm diarrhea in the universe, including alien hippos whose turds are made up of dark matter and thus are orbiting their own little shit planetoid until the total accretion of dark matter alien hippo shit exceeds a certain threshold after which the hippo is sucked in his pile of dark matter.(thats ok though because: just like its ok that plants were meant to be transformed into animal shit, alien hippos are meant to disappear in their own shit).

Anyhow, we're talking rates shooting from 30 billion dollars to 85 billions per month, spread over the last 6 years.

85 billion dollars a month. Around 2.8 billions per day.

It all came to an end last october with a total of 4.5 trillions dollars worth of accumulated assets.

Thats 4500000000000.00$ in mortgage securities, government bonds and other insanely boring things on which the whole stability of our financial system rests.

(by the way if at this point you TL;DR, you're an hydrocephalic maggot, now go out there and post something on your facebooks)

From what I understand, the federal reserve, an organism created out of a psychotic event in the early 20th century and whose nature is as cryptic as a skizo's diary, is printing all this money and using it to buy government bonds which translates into government debt (soon to cause a float overflow on this site), and other financial stuff which translates into banksters profits.

Thats all good. What I dont understand is, with all those craaaaazy amounts of money thrown in the system, how come the dollar has not been dramatically devaluated. And also, all that money printed must use up insane amounts of trees (for the dollar paper) and insane amounts of octopus (dollar ink), so isn't there a risk that the primary resources for that quantitive easing become rarer and therefore finally give an intrinsic value to money?

Hey Karl, what do you call this kind of painting?

I've always loved sci-fi futurist paintings from the 70's and 80's (largely because they made up like 80% of the books I read as a kid. Those dusty old Asimov paper backs in the library had some really far out stuff).
Here's a dump of the backgrounds from Star Wars

http://imgur.com/a/mLraW

Not because of his BCI tech but because of his face. His face is fascinating.

Trophic Cascade

Remember that cool wolf video Artistatron Karl Hungus posted? This infographic goes into a little more detail and explains it rather well. Also, there are some sources, which is a good thing. It's just too bad the referencing is so poor. If I were a college teacher, I would give them 1/5 for the referencing. Maybe 2/5.

Anyways, back to the wolves and Yellowstone. The effect described is known as Trophic Cascade.

Eagle Nebula Bonanza

Some new pics from the Pillars of Creation, with some fancier equipment. Thank you to our friends at NASA.