Ridicule

if i were to be a serial killer, i'd change my name to ridicule, that way no one could ever say that ridicule has never killed anyone anymore.


ps: i don't know why i'm studying to be an urban planner when i could easily be a proverb falsifier.

God = Me

So I was studying and it occured to me that I was God. Ever since then, everything has been the same. But then again, that's because nothing has changed for me, since I was God before this epiphany and I remain God. Only God could arrive to such clear and concise conclusions. Be honoured. Oh and you can be proud to be the first to know that from now on al mi spelingh iz corekt. ohkay^ Gaude makse nau mysteaks.

Robert-Bourassa avenue????

Renaming Parc avenue to Robert-Bourassa avenue!!! morons... next thing you know they'll rename the mount-royal to mount Gerald-Tremblay... am i the only one who's pissed about this??? ok, sorry, this isn't supposed to be a serious blog, but whatevz....

Procrastination

Why is it that every time I have something to do, I always tell myself, "Oh, I have plenty of time for that, it'll be a cinch! Won't take any time at all." Then when comes the time to do the task, I see time flying the fuck by. It's 10h56! I started working at like 9h23 and I haven't gotten anything done! More mysterious yet is the fact this happens each and every time but I still have not managed to learn. Which makes me think: "Just how much did Mom drink when I was in her wine-y womb?"

creepiness lesson #1

a fellow blogger has asked me to share with you three lessons in relationship creepiness. these things happened to my sister's best friend and i wouldn't want to talk about her using her name so i'll change the names.
So here you go, lesson #1 to be creepy:
Queen elisabeth broke up with King charles last spring and king charles wasn't taking it so well. he'd always ask the queen if she had met a new guy, which, of course, she would have liked and had tried to do, but decided that she didn't want t hurt poor charles' feelings so she always replied that she hadn't. but queen elisabeth eventually decided that myspace mkay or may not be a place to start, maybe make some friends who could introduce her to other internet losers (by the way, i never understood why the queen had trouble finding a new king cause she's gorgeous)... so she finally meets some guy who's relatively interesting and who shares many of her intrests, he likes arts, music, good food, the usual, whatever... so after a little while he asks if they could meet, go for a drink or something (something usually means "i'd rather have sex right away"). and she accepts the drink part of the offer. they schedule a date for, let's say friday night behind the dumpster in the really dark and creepy alley near the docks. friday comes and her ex-boyfriend, king charles (now that i think of it i think it was edward), calls her and asks "so, huh, what are you doing tonight?" and she says "not much, hang out with the duchesses" and the king goes "uh-huh? ok..." and hangs up... 30 minutes later, the king calls back and asks "are you sure you're not doing anything special tonight?" and she starts to wonder and says "no, i am not..." and he says, ok go check your myspace account. she does and reads the message in her inbox and realizes that the new king (i should have made him a prince or a sultan...whatever) that she was supposed to meet was no other one than our good friend king charles-edward himself!!! the king had had the brilliant idea of making up a fake myspace account with tons of picturesof some random good-looking sultan and had made him share her interests, knowing that she'd fall for him. he had then requested to be her friend and voilà...
boys, this is how you will become the creepiest dates around!

GWAR is Dead! Long Live Debashish Bhattacharya!

As you all don't know, he is the master of the slide guitar. His show is Thursday October 18th at the Kola Note, on St-Laurent.
Be there or be square! This is going to be one for the ages! So good, I'm gonna cum! Booya! Shit I've got 20$ left to my name and I'm spending it on the show! I don't know what I'll do after. There's still some hot sauce left in the kitchen, I guess I can eat that...then there's always the cum...

God could not comprehend !

Peoples ! We undiscutablismaly have reached the absolute zero of intelligent design !

Yes ! God itself could not understand us even if it tried ! (see figure 1.1 for actual confounded godly moment)

We are now officialy beyond beyond hell.

...

Yes ! Beyond beyond hell.

...

YOKELS ! Beyond hell is the last album of GWAR. I have to explain everything to you incultes ! gwar, the tooth fairy, car rain, ... everything !

Jerk

I'm glad you're using the Province's valuable resources and tax-payers' money to take up space in the National Library for blogging.

...jerk