Lucid dreaming - accompanied by portrayed irrelevance.

Have any of you kids ever experienced a lucid dream?
You know, those dreams where you actually realize you're dreaming and you consciously take control of your actions affecting the dream world.
Well I had one the other night, and it made me understand a little further who I really am, as a person, or a "human being", if you will.
The experience is quite exhilarating. It is probably the most freeing instant one might ever live, even though it is not real. In the instant, the satisfaction and the pleasure are at their paroxysm, and I really cant see how they could be topped by reality, it wont ever come close if you ask me, at least not till they invent those neuro chips, or till they put out Army of Darkness II, or till they put out neuro chips that let you be in Army of Darkness II, but I digress.
So I woke up in a dream, in this bar. Even though every aspect of my surroundings and my own feelings were unreally sharp as if I were there, I somehow knew it was a dream, and I strutted down and made my way to the bar where a couple of plantureuses ladies were sipping on their drinks. Without even considering the nature of the act and its possible repercussions, nor thinking about doing something more elevated like, I dont know, flying, I lept at the nearest girl and started grabbing her everywhere at once, and then I shoved my cock in her face and grabbed her tits some more and slapped her face with the cock and shoved it in her eyes and nose and then I grabbed the other girl and did the same, all very fast, very quick, as if every seconds counted and the only thing that really mattered was molesting those two chicks as best as I could, they were not very pleased, but their indignant state was all the more arrousing for me and so I cumshot their face.
There was a moment when I considered trying to fly away, but that was like a nanosecond.
Anyways after raping those chicks I ended up in a police car and thats where I went from lucid dreaming to basic dreaming, from active to passive state. I could hear and see the two women lecturing me on how bad I had been, waving their finger at me, and I felt really really bad about it.
So I guess that Freud guy was right about the ça and the surmoi and the moi.
I became It, and I lived It, and I loved It.
There's a rapist inside of me people.
Good thing theres also the police.
I wonder who put them there. Geez, if only Freud could tell me.

Rave! Concepts and Horizons and an irrelevant picture

Conceptual Horizons. That's what you are seeing on your conceptual horizon right now.

Conceptual Horizons. Man, what a concept! What a horizon!

I'm the middle of some nasty reading on Primordiality, Perenialism, Modernism and Ethno-Symbolism and KABLAMO! the writer takes a huge dump on my brain. What a delicious idea. Conceptual Horizons!

''Concerning fremdenfeindlichkeit, I truly believe that on the conceptual horizon we will be seeing a new tolerance within humanity, a sort of lessening of tension between the Us and the Them. Whether that is due more to a rise of new poles of power or the intense global migration patterns or rather because of the advent of the air car remains to be discussed.

Conceptual horizons. Use it or lose it!


irrelevant picture

good morning... a rant with an irrelevant picture

I've got a rant.

So I call up the Ministere de l'Education (ahem, et du loisir et du sport) to ask them if they'll partly fund my excursion to the US for my PhD. So the dude asks me: "C'est quelle Universite?" and I say "University of Washington", then he says "OK, W-A-C-H-I-N-T-E-N.... hmmm... non je ne le trouve pas". I politely correct him and then he asks me what program it is, so I hesitantly say "Epidemiology" only to be met with "Quoi? Hein? C'est-tu de la danse, ca?". Granted, it's not a word you see every day, but dance? Wachinten? He works at the goddamn ministry of EDUCATION! fuck.

Then I get a phone call from the University of North Carolina telling me I have to take a test called the Test of English as a Foreign Language. I try and explain to her that English is actually my mother tongue and blah blah blah and she says, "I'm sorry ma'am, but it says here that everyone from the PROVIDENCE of Queeeebec is French and has to take the test".

I wonder if these people have discussions about the appropriateness of the words xenophobia and fremdenfeindlichkeit in different contexts. fuckers.

I (heart) India? (part 134 of a series)

Maybe it's not India after all

After mechanical problems ground one of its Boeing 757s, officials of Nepal Airlines sacrifice two goats on the tarmac at Kathmandu airport to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu god of sky protection. The plane then successfully completes its scheduled flight to Hong Kong.


The Story

the Hindu god of sky protection. nice. I wonder what the Hindu god of wooden table protection against wet-glasses is called.

Scientology vs. Cocaine: a comparison.

Why I don't like swimming in the ocean...

Reason #32

The Sea Wasp:

Deadliest creature in the sea. You touch it, you're dead. And you can't scare it away because it has no brain.

I Sound Smarter than You!

I Sound Smarter than You! is a new series brought to you by the same people who produce I (heart) India!

Next time you are at a dinner party/social event and someone brings up xenophobia in modern society, casually drop the following term: fremdenfeinlichkeit.

You will have guessed that fremdenfeinlichkeit is a german word. You will NOT have guessed that it literally means hostility to strangers. You could easily argue that fremdenfeinlichkeit can be considered more accurate, since hostility towards strangers is not necessarily a phobia or irrational fear.

Here is an example of its use in a particularly cunning manner.

Sycophantic Backstabber: Well, I agree that many Western European societies are having great difficulties adapting newly arrived immigrants, either adapting to them or having them adapt. But can we really be surprised considering this very civilization invented the term xenophobia?

Lucky Lucille: Hahaha, you're so witty! I took a class on xenophobia and we studied a very interesting comparison between pre and post-modern xenophobic attitudes.

Sycophantic Backstabber: Hmmm, that is quite intriguing. Although I hasten to add that I find the term xenophobia to be inadequate to the task. The German fremdenfeindlichkeit is easily more appropriate and accurate. After all, hostily to strangers is not necessarily a phobia or an irrational fear.



*** The preceding example showed us both a proper use and an adroit use, having stealthily inserted xenophobia in the conversation with the sole purpose of correcting it with our new word.

I Sound Smarter than You! Works for me, works for you!

Ignorance + Lack of Curiosity = Blehch

WARNING: SEMI-RELEVANT IMAGE



Someone called today at work. Here is what transpired:

CALLER: Hello, I'd like to speak to ahhh, hmmm, ahhh, maktimag, I don't know how to pronounce this, huh, m-e-r-i-e-m.



***
yes, Meriem. A slightly different way of spelling Myriam, a goddam common name.


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