Monday, March 9, 2009

Agnostics are sissies who cant put on their pants

Dear 19,

My life is ok. I'm aware of time. I'm aware of stuff. I don't like cops.
I hate cars. Now I'm aware this statement can make me pass for something I am not. I am not an idiot (if I was, I would still be working for that insurance company and nurturing fantasies of rape and massacre) Neither am I an environmentalist. I am a man of good taste (you can tell by the way I dress, and I dont care how much you dislike red or purple pants, they look good on me, period.) Since my tastes are generally biased towards goodness, I can appreciate the beauties of nature. Whether they are submarine, aerial or terrestrial, the wonders of nature never cease to amaze me. Of course they would look better on a 42" wide HD tv, but my naturally artistic vision spares me the need for such luxuries of the eyes.
I hate cars, but the truth is, I care not about the environment. Yes, for the appreciator of nature that I am, it seems sad to see it transformed into continents of toxic industrial wastelands by the day. Mais devant le fait accompli, devant l'atrocité bien établie des installations nocives des hommes, il est nécessaire de se demander pourquoi tout cela nous rend triste.
The earth has seen far worse catastrophies than humanity. Life on earth has seen far worse than this human calamity. Really far more worse. So what if thousands of species are disappearing by the year. Let us shed a tear for them, take a minute of silence for the yantze river Dolphins and all the other victims of the human parasite.


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There. Now can we please carry on with our over consumption. We are North-Americans, there is no other way for us than to be toxic towards nature. Everything we do is a step towards the annihilation of yet another ecosystem. We are part of it and are fully enjoying it. And billions of Chinese and Indians are presently aiming at exactly the same goal as ours, so forget about salvaging pandas or any other cute being on the verge of extinction. I am not anxious at all about this state of pending devastation, for I know that on Earth’s story map, this is all but a tiny and meaningless dot. Earth will survive us. Let them build plastic continents in the pacific. Life will outlive it.
But still, I hate cars. It is a very egocentric hatred. I hate them because they make the streets unsafe for me. I hate the monoxide they produce, not for greenhouse gases, but for my irritated trachea. I hate them because they contribute to the degeneration of my fellow degenerates. I hate them because they are driven by slimy zombies who stand against everything I believe in. And I don’t believe in much, except that cars are evil.

3 comments:

Barbarosa said...

My environmental concerns are aimed at my own wellbeing. I've had it good my entire life in that easy nourishment, shelter and lack of violence have been the status quo. However, that is not true for lots/most of the people who preceded me and lots of my contemporaries.

Thus my environmental concerns stem from not wanting to fear whether or not I will be able to eat at the next meal, whether or I'll have a roof to put over my head, whether or not some brutes will threaten to/abuse me or my loved ones. These are all interelated of couse.

I fear severe and systemic environmental degradation will only lead to warlordism. I'd rather have Stephen Harper, any day; and that's saying a lot.

Dementor said...

Yes, but are you wearing your pants?

Barbarosa said...

Yes, on my head.