Out of Control!!!!

I can't do this "I'm a good sudent" shit! I'm going to see the game. If any of you give me any lip for this, I'm gonna jam my fist down your throats.

FUCK YOU!

Big trouble in little Mile End

Well,

Like a bad getaway driver, my roommate took off before the job was done. Puniyani, if you don't want to live at the 19 for another year at an increased rate and with no potential roommates, I strongly suggest that you check your email right away. And sorry for sounding so torontonian in it but, what can I say, you've made this very difficult.

...

Hell, even if I wanted to stay, you should have assumed that you would have to be there to personnaly take steps to take your own name off the lease. WTF?

Windex

I hear you can get drunk off of this shit. I just enjoy the birds laughing.

Guess what!

Duke! it took some doing, but I found three cool people to move in with you. I think the four of you will get along juuuuuuuust fine.

End of the 19

Enter the twilight years.

I used to fantasize about some ruthless developer wanting to bulldoze the 19 Bernard into a golf course, thus prompting the lot of us to go on a Goonies like escapade to find a one-eyed Willie. I forgot to consider the inevitability that we would just grow out of it in the end. You know, like hippies and shit.

So, three of the four roommates have confirmed that they are leaving. As the seasonal caretaker of the place, I feel the need to resist to this current trend. So, unless two or three really cool people have something to suggest, we’ll have to change the name of this blog. Although a part of me truly wants to adopt a somewhat healthier lifestyle, I still feel like I need the folly of others to keep me in check.

So yeah, whoever you are, you have one day to reply. Otherwise, I’m buying some bachelor pad deep in Ikea hell. And chances are, the great beast will have digested me before I could ever stab it in the heart.

Loop hole

As many of you already know, I have always said never to trust anyone with a moustache. Then I came across this guy and, quite frankly, I think I would trust him with my first-born child.

Duke

Is Duke trying to tell us something ? He's gone for a few days and I stumbled across this object on his shelf in the bathroom. It looks as if it was "accidentaly" left there to be discovered.

Duke, if you were trying to tell ME something, I'm sorry but you're just not my type. Oh, and I have a strict Kiss AND Tell policy.

I Hope You Guys Did Not Vote

No really. I know you. It would be an affront to let a bunch of mouth-breathers such as yourselves have a say in who will lead our province dearest into a quagmire of bad management.

Later

My Gramma broke her ankle and I'm going to go to Phoenix to help her out. I'll be back on April 4th. I'll be missing 2 wicked awesome shows. Presets and co. on the 28th. snif. Ed Bangers on the 31st. double snif.

I guess the one advantage is its going to be 28C and sunny over there while it being 10C and rainy over here.

See you in Hell!

3 things (shameless promo again...)

first... it was nice out today so i think it calls for some celebrating at korova tonight... just sayin'...
second... next week, come celebrate april fool's day with our guest DJ's Pony up! we're holding their show after-party at korova.
third... the week after that... come celebrate easter at korova with us and our still to be confirmed guest DJ's... everyone's got the day off on monday so the place will be packed... plus, we're working on some really cool guests...

Another one! A little bit more retro.

Party! Party! Party!

Idea

Hey guys,

I was walking to Breathe's place when I happenned on this cool looking Mexican resto, Maria Bonita. Its on the corner of Casgrain and Maguire. The menu is very reasonable and looks delish.



Here's a review :

Maria Bonita Review

What say? This weekend perhaps?

ooops

sorry, I thought this was facebook... man its hard to lose that 19bernard habit.

The feet look like hands!

Look at the tail! And a little patch of hair above it!

Butterflies!

Well, it looks as if Taiwan is leading the way. Here's an article about steps taken to help migrating butterflies survive crossing a highway.

"Human beings need to coexist with the other species, even if they are tiny butterflies,"

There ya go!

A Good Example

Eat your heart out David Suzuki!

Speaking of gay...

I just found some photos of the girl I brought home the night of Ram Punani (or whaever)'s birthday party. I have to say, I thought she was a lot prettier that that. In fact, I don't really remember much.


oh God...what have I done.

Careful!

Please don't show this to the one they call Ignacio, he might turn gay!

Douche McDoucherson!

"Harper menace de ne pas négocier avec un gouvernement souverainiste"

This was the headline in Le Devoir. Jesus, is Harper a f***ing lunatic or what?

I'm a total Québec Solidaire man, but when I hear threats like that, my heart starts leaning towards the PQ. Who de FUCK is he to tell me or my peeps how to vote?

Is he trying to separate Canada? It certainly sounds like it.

Here's the link to the article

post link now

please post a link to that thing you're always telling me about with that super hero that's not wise. thanks.

internet Adventures (part 5 of a series)

Man, once again I've managed to waste so much time on the internet that I won't get enough sleep. fuck!




Douche McDouchersen signing out!

For Duke

I went to the Botanical Gardens today and I found the type of vegetation that Duke would keep in his backyard.

long day... longer night...

this is what happens when i start drinking at noon for st-paddy's and someone sticks a camera under my nose at 2 in the morning... i mean... there's looking like an idiot and looking like an idiot... oh well... free advertising nonetheless...


voxpop montréal

i f anyone's interested in helping out a small festival for the sole reward of free beer and guestlists...

here, a friend is organizing the second edition of a festival devoted to torontoton bands because as we all know here in montreal, the toroniantans suck major balls and he wanted to confirm that fact by putting these lousy bands on display... i say "good work sailor!" anyhoo... he needs help and i thought i'd post this on here cause you never know...
so here's his blabber:

Hello everyone,

The festival needs you!!! If you and or any of your friends are up for helping us out with a little flyering and postering now is the time to step forward.

The fest is joyfully playing on the idea that Montrealers think that T.O bands suck. When in fact, there are some that are so good they will take a bite out of your ass! Last year we used images of black panthers mid bite (the animal not the political) and this year we will use cobras mid bite.

We had a good turn out at divan the other day but we need more helpers!

I will be working the bar at green room tonight tomorrow and wednesday if anybody wants to come by and pick up some posters and or flyers.

We are offering free tickets to all of the shows with a +1 for a friend. As well as a volunteer party on Tuesday April 3rd in the green room with two free Kegs of beer!!!

Please copy and past this off to anyone you think might want to help.

If anybody wants to volunteer but can't make it to Divan on Saturday, you can direct them to our www.myspace.com/bites_festival

Thank you so much! See you Saturday!

jOeY.
Creative Director
Toronto Bites! Music Festival

bites_festival@yahoo.ca

Spacebook and Myface, eh?

Wanna join the latest craze? I didn't, but now I'm hooked. Please get hooked with me.

I Hate This Winter

Now I know I'm biased against this season because summer is my favourite. But I still make an effort to appreciate by playing hockey, a winter sport and the best sport in the history of manking. Unless people watching is a sport.

Where was I? Oh yeah, winter sucks. Well to be honest, this winter sucks. It has easily been the worst winter of my life in terms of weather. The cold has been merciless. Literally without mercy.

Ram : God?
God : Yes, Ram?
Ram : Make it stop.
God : Please leave a message after the beep. *beep*
Ram : Dang! I always get caught by those outgoing messages!

St Paddy's Day 2007

Lots MIAs, but we had fun nonetheless.

I think the key words for the action yesterday are (in no comprehensible order):

Reuben's
Drinking a Chair
Pissing while walking
Harumpf!
Boaarshh!
And as always : Ron Reush is a violent alcoholic

Here are some movies.

Here's the 'Nova rocking hard.

Action on the street, post parade.

Parade action!

to all photogs...

put your goddamn pictures on flickr or youendit them or whatever, you take pictures of our parties and you don't share them... boo.

i'm looking in the direction of a few people who have promised on manhy occasions to make cd's but have never done shit... flickr.com is really easy to use... if you want a faster way and don't want to upload all your pictures on flickr, go to yousendit.com, zip your picture folders and upload them there then post the link here and we'll grab the folders...

thanks.

ps: here's a picture of a badass just because.

Yes!

So this what I really wanted to post. This game goes by the name of vibrations. Cassinova invented it. Just close your eyes and try to catch the ball by sensing its vibrations.

No!

I was going to post a video of Cassinova and I frolicking at the 19, but then I came accross this little piece of youtubage. I don't know why its called "Beer Instant Freeze"

Fesses

you ungrateful fucks...

the tickets for daft punk are on sale tomorrow at noon, but here's a link for the pre-sale... if you go now you can still score some pareterre tickets... i got mine...
http://www.admission.com/adm/DaftPunk_GEG.htm

so fuck you.

You Just Gotta Share That Shit

Look, I know you had to be there. Sort of like that time I was walking down the hallway at Concordiarrhea with Trebek, when I stopped in the middle of a sentence to admire the sweetest ass my eyes at been graced with.

Anyways, today at the Nacional Banq on Bernard, I enjoyed the sweetest cleavage! No, not like the one pictured above, that one's totally fake and classless. But the kitty in the middle is just funny. Anyways, I was lucky enough that while she was slightly bent over filling out a form, her cleavage was totally accessible for my viewing pleasure, and her lean meant my staring was shielding from her. Remember Seenfeld and the cleavage-sun allegory? Well, this was like a disney eclipse. Yup, you can stare and stare. Niiice! I just realized that I am 28 and I'm already a dirty old man.

Well back to the cleavage. I'll let your imagination do the walking, but everything was just perfect, from the size, shape and firmness. I could imagine myself writing an anthology of poems to her cleavage. If her cleavage was this dainty, I could only imagine her muff...

All that being said, take a look at this pic :



Imagine if you can this person's inner beauty. Yes, soak in it. Now take that inner beauty and make it an outie. Turn it into a cleavage. Voilà!

Parisian Scientists Spy on Stonners!

That's the only way these guys could have come up with a Photon Saturation Machine! Mofos!

Peep this :

Photon Saturation Machine!

I can't believe they got it working so quickly.

19 Bernard party mix

there... last weekend jmo asked me to plug my ipod at his party because the shuffling grew a little tiresome.. but i found that playing an entire album from the first song to the last may not be appropriate either for a party or a get together at the 19... because i am the most un-motivated student in town these days, i have a lot of time on my hands, and i've decided to mix a few songs together and to share this mix with all of you. it is all on one single track, which makes it easier for your ipod to handle (no skips and shit) and, although it may not be all that convenient for a casual listen of a few minutes or if you only want to hear one song in the mix, i found that it was appropriate for parties... in no way am i trying to impose my tastes on anyone so if you don't like it, don't listen to it, that's all... i just thought i'd make it available for all of you to judge.
you can download it FOR FREE here:

19 Bernard 2007

i think it'll be available for a week or two, i'm not sure... the password is: trebek

share it with whoever you like, this is not for sale and all the rights remain within the hands of those who wrote the songs... there is very little remixing involved, so i hope no one will get offended.
have fun!

here's the track list:
1. God made me funky - Down with the King's
2. Lo-Fi-Fnk - City
3. MSTRKRFT - Work on you
4. The Trucks - Titties
5. Torpedo Boyz - Start being nicer (tomorrow, P.E.T. mix)
6. Tekel - Mekanik Ordi
7. Teddybears Stkhlm - Yours to keep
8. Halfbaked - Exoskeleton
9. dDamage - Shimmy shimmy blade
10. Cadence Weapon - Oliver Square
11. Riot in Belgium - La musique
12. Hadouken! - Tuning in
13. DJ Mehdi - Hot-O-momo
14. Cansei de ser sexy - Music is my hot sex
15. Klanguage - All this time
16. The Presets - Are you the one
17. Vive la fête - Claude François
18. Ajax - S'express (theme from s'express)

Good Morning Junky!

I'm pretty sure I've already posted something just like this, but I think there is something wrong with me. I find it absolutely impossible to wake up in the morning unless I HAVE to! No matter how much I tell myself I should, it just does not work. So I've decided to live with it and to make myself feel better, I have attempted a new theory where manufacturers of beds put special products (referred to as "drugs" in the industry) in their beds to make them more comfortable so you stay in longer, thus wearing out the bed sooner. Sneaky rascals!

Lo-fi fnk...

posters are often a great indicator of the quality of a show... although this may not be true for big shows put on by big corporate firms like GEG and the like who ask their "graphic artist" who listens to sevendust and evanescence (because he got into these bands when he got the job at the said firm and they needed someone at the t-shirt stand) to do a poster for bands that he knows nothing about or for which he/she couldn't care less... anyway, so it is true for smaller shows that are usually put on by fans. although blue skies turn black has grown larger and larger in the past few years, and have associated with the bigger sevendust-loving-firms, they've alsomanaged to remain true to their roots and still hire people who love music (all kinds) and who know the bands they should design posters for. and it makes all the difference in the world! sure, you get a biased view from a poster that was made by a fan, but then you start thinking: "this guy/girl went to a lot of trouble to make this amazing poster! and this is is what the band inspired him/her!!! they must be great!"


ok... that's poor reasoning, but whatever... look at that poster!!!!!

i only watched the first minute, but i was already pissing myself

Shit, I Gotta Stretch My Excuse!

It ain't my b-day nymore but let's just say I haven't gone to sleep yet, soze the samez day.

Anyways, I'll spread some propaganda and you and get aways with 'cause its my birthday.

Two-wheel stats:

If you cycle regularly, you can expect to be as fit as an average person 10 years younger.

On a bicycle, you can travel up to 1,037km on the energy equivalent of a litre of petrol.

Cyclists absorb lower levels of pollutants from traffic fumes than car drivers. ( This leaves me perplexed)



On average, cyclists live two years longer than non-cyclists.

"When I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the human race." HG Wells

"Be part of the future, it feels good!" Ram Puniyani

I'll Be There

So before that sweet free show at la sala, there is Favela Rising showing.



Debasixiz dis guy dealer who seez hiz muthah gets kild. He findz it in himself to lead a social revlution in de favelaz in Rio, more sepcificaly Vigário Geral.

Derzyagoz.

Free show you shouldn't miss next wednesday...

Part of Art Matters, there'll be film screenings, spoken word and shit at sala rossa for the launching of the zine Soliloques...


Here's the good part, last thursday at zoobizarre, this girl hopped on stage before telefauna and cadence weapon and played a short set that was absolutely amazing! Her name is Lil Pip and she's a really good MC and she'll be playing next wednesday for free at sala... come one come all, you won't regret it!

here's her myspace:

Lil Pip's myspace

listen to the Hank williams song... sick.

Stuck In Your Middle

blableblibloboo

Stock in the middle with you

Je pense que le géant ferré nous aurait fortement aidé (rappelez vous de l'anecdote de l'auto virer à l'envers).

Fucking Psycho

>

You've gone too far!

I hate you fuckers.

It's such a pain in the ass to have to cook on a friday night for another damn potluck. You guys are all assholes. My appartment is way too small to ever host one, so I'll never reap the benefits myself. This means that from now until I move out, I'll be dishing out way too much cash and time for you fuckers. And I can stuff my face all I want tonight; it doesn't matter, it still only amounts to one meal.

And a costume!!! What are you, crazy! Easy for you to do...it's at your house! Hey I know!!! How about I have a party where everybody has to bring a bridge made out of toothpicks that can support a weight of 200 lbs.!!!

And what if someone just doesn't have time for all this? What will happen to them? Lynched? Stoned? Beaten? Touched in the privates? Or even worse...ostracized?

This does not bode well.



PS: the iboxer is a real product.

Koeksusters : Funny Foreign Word of the Day!

KOEKSUSTERS

Nice! What a perfect way to mark my nationalities birthday party! I was surfin' the net, trawling for South African recipes, when I came across this delight :



As much as that name is funny, I think it looks more like Leetleboydiks.

See you laters skaters

daft punk in montreal august 7!!!

with sebastian, the rapture and kavinsky!!! talk about show of the year! jesus!!!!!

cadence weapon last night...

you all missed a hell of a show last night! now, do yourself a favor and listen to me just this once: the next time he's in town (or near where you live, whatever) go see him while he still plays small venues! i predict that his next album will make him huge and that he'll soon put to shame some of the best MC's out there! the guy's got mad flow and seeing him at tiny tiny zoobiz (that wasn't very packed, mind you) was surreal... watch out for this guy!
here's my next tip... don't miss of montreal next monday at la tulipe... if you don't know about them, trust me, you won't regret a second of it, if you know about them but haven't heard their latest album "hissing fauna are you the destroyer?", get it now! if you've heard it and still don't care, there something seriously wrong with you.
see you tonight at the 19.

Look at the size of that turkey!!!

is that piano?

oh no.. its ecuadorian not bolivian.

Please vote.

Who would win in a one on one, greco-roman wrestling match?





Contestant #1: Blue Suede Trooper



Contestant #2: Darth Rim Job

show listings...

to those who are interested by the show listings, note that i update it several times a week so you should check it regularly to see the additions...

Je m'habille en Américain!

With Friends Like These...

Remind me never to invite Vinnie Debugger again!

Overheard at the 19

Ram : So what are you guys wearing for my party?
Cassinova: Can I go as a jew?
Ram: Sure.
Cassinova: Nice. I'm going to shave my head.
Ram: Sweet. I'm glad you mentionned that, 'cause I was going to suggest you wear a yellow armband with a star of David on it. But then I thought it would be inappropriate for me to say so.
Cassinova: I meant going as a hasidic woman.
Ram: Oh.

***

Not Overheard Yet


Ram: So I hear they're planning on making Auschwitz more contemporary. What does that mean? Hire Britney Spears to play the role of #4872902 ?




pssst, I'm kind of bad with these things. Was that going too far? It was the number, wasn't it?

so who's your douche of choice?

so there's caca charest, booboo boisclair, zig heil dumont, wishful-thinking-dream-team david-khadir and lobotomckay...

tough choice.

Y'en a qui vont être contents!

I just came up with this great term in French! Click on it to see the meaning.

BLÈGRE!

Libraries

What is it that they put in the air in there? I am absolutely unable to keep my eyes open.

I'm feeling fine when I walk in the library. I start reading and soon enough, my eyelids start getting heavier and heavier, until they feel like they're made of lead. My eyes start tingling, begging to be soothed my sweet, soft lids. My head begins to get too heavy for my poor tired neck. Soon enough I'm knocking on imaginary nails with my head. I am literally fighting off the sleep fairy. Why? WHY?

You know, although my loutish behaviour is the biggest culprit, my ''career'' would be a lot better off if it weren't for this awful reaction.



F-YOU LIBRARY ATMOSPHERE!