This just in: Reincarnation does exist

Enjoy your life while it lasts my dear friends, because chances are you will reincarnate into something considerably less comfortable. Thats right, about 80% of the world population is in the turd world, so thats 4 chances on 5 that you'll be starving and suffering through your miserable next life, WITH NO INTERNETS.
Because next life is what's waiting for you.
Of course you don't believe me.
Well take a look at this fine young man below:

This guy is the reincarnation of a Buddhist monk who died more than 50 years ago.
Thats right, after frolicking in Buddhist paradise for some time, Geshe Jatse decided that he'd had enough and that it was about time he came back on earth to serve as the bridge between East and West. So Jatse became Elijah Ary, a montreal kid with the teeth of a vampire.
If you still don't trust my sources, check this out. Surely you won't doubt the Harvard Gazette! If you do, you're certain to come back as a gay Uzbek hustler, and pain and suffering will be the least of your concerns then.
Anyways. I hope the Buddhist God has a good sense of humor, or I better get used to the idea of being a little African girl on her way to excision.