Monday, April 6, 2009


I want to tear my face off.

(no humor intended in this post)


Dementor said...

I'm sorry to inform you that you cannot proceed and tear your face off. If you did, you would act against the decree pronounced by the ISC (Intergalactic Science Council) stating that your face is not to be subjected to any kind of rearrangement and should be protected from any harm caused by or against its owner, for it is a universal science oddity and should be preserved for future generations to study and learn the unfathomable ways of nature's intricacies.

Dementor said...

Also, Brütal Legend will be released this fall, so you're gonna need your face in order to have it properly melted by the Best Game of all Times & Dimensions.
__ __
\ \ _ _ / /
\ \| || |/ /
\ | || | /
| |_||_|__\

Dementor said...

shit! I spent at least 12 minutes building a proper devil's horn hand sign, but the stupid editor fucked it up!

here... let me try it again...


Dementor said...


Master of the Craw said...

you need to write it in html for it to format properly.
My face is fully ready to be melted by Brutal Legend though. Apparently it won't interface with guitar peripherals... too bad.

Napoleon Bonerpants said...

Is that from Poltergeist 1 or 2? I remember being seven and laughing hysterically at that scene.

Master of the Craw said...


"It's easy to be mean, to make fun of something and tear it down. It's much harder to poke fun at something that can be rather silly, and have it come from a place of love and deep respect. Tim Schafer has mastered the latter with Brütal Legend, an adventure game that is at times a love letter to heavy metal, and at others a great excuse to make fun of the chrome-soaked, sex-obsessed conventions of the music.

During GDC 2009, Double Fine hosted a group of game writers at its offices, giving the press a small taste of the game, with Schafer's commentary. "I always wanted to bring this world to life," he told everyone. "What you see in rock videos, it's never really done with much of a budget or fidelity to it at all. Even though the lyrics are so evocative, there's always that one guy standing in the middle of an empty church with a plastic sword."

Schafer said that every scene was designed to look like the cover of a metal album, and the design work is at the same time darkly gothic and utterly ridiculous.

The story takes place in an alternate universe where the power of rock is real. Jack Black plays Eddie Riggs, the so-called "best roadie in the world." After dripping blood onto an amulet that Riggs wears as a belt-buckle, he's transported to a land that looks exactly like the stage set from his former band... except in this world the druids are out to kill him. The first combat erupts, you meet the beautiful sidekick character, build a car to get around, and get your mission: the leaders of the resistance have no idea how to organize, feed, or move people in great numbers. Eddie realizes instantly that they don't need a hero... they need a roadie.

Metal luminary and scream-master Rob Halford provides the voice of the game's bad guy, and an early mission has you rescuing head-banging metalheads who will soon make up your user-controlled army. In a fun twist, the evil minions are hair metal fans... the true enemies of real metal. The hair-metal fans and your army will clash, as Schafer explains, "just like in LA in the 80s."

From that point on Riggs can call on his army to fight for him, adding a strategic element to the rather simplistic hack-and-slash gameplay we had seen up to that point. You'll be able to explore the land using your car—called the Deuce—and the world is huge, 64 square kilometers. You'll be driving around to move the story forward and to take on side missions to upgrade your weapon and car, giving the game some serious legs.

The fact is, the game is funny—laugh-out-loud, subtle, quick-witter humor that comes from a great script and attention to detail. The art is also amazing, with a ton of detail and little surprises to be found here and there. All throughout the game classic metal tracks are played in the background, along with rejiggered metal that comes together into a classic track at just the right time. (We were told many of the rights still weren't completely secured.)

You'll be fighting with your guitar, driving in your metal hot-rod, and hopefully getting it on some with groupies here and there throughout the game... it's hard to image how the game would catch a Teen rating based on what we saw.

After the game was dropped by Activision, only to be picked up by EA, there was a lot of speculation about just how viable the product would be. "In many ways, it was easier to pitch the second time," Schafer said, "since we had something to show." EA was right to pick this one up, it's funny, smart, and lovingly crafted. Sadly, Schafer is known more for critical acclaim than retail receipts these days, but this could be just the game to change that trend."

Dementor said...

Its from the first one.
I remember being 25 and going blind for 5 minutes from the sheer terror of this scene.

(now go place a 10 copies order of Brütal Legend)