That’s right! We’re on some bad drugs right now: the Youtube, the video games, that minimalistic “cool” music with the mop tops and the ties that whines defeat. I mean is it me or have we gotten dumber in the past ten years? I’m surprised we still read books.
Seriously, though, Is this it? Have we given up as a generation? It seems as though it doesn’t matter if we fail miserably at everything as long as we look cool doing it. It’s as if our current pop culture reassures us for our shortcomings. It’s time to get out of the comfort zone. Its time to stop clapping your hands and saying yeah to four douchebags on a treadmill. I do not exclude myself from some of these vague accusations but I want to do something about our current state.
So here are some words of pseudo-negative reinforcement to the lot of you. Some call this the truth-truth game and I will target all those who have ever contributed to the Good Times. Feel free to play:
Candyman, keep working on your art as it is special because it requires actual skill and not just some neat idea. Keep it safe from those conceptual charlatans that pollute our bandwidth with their “art”. And stay away from that PS3. It’ll kill you faster than old age.
Dildo, being math smart does not make you a nerd. What is this? high school? What the fuck? You have a lucrative skill so stop putting yourself down in order to cater to the image whores. And stay away from that Xbox 360, Wii, Gameboy Advance, PSP, Tamagotchi or whatever else is in your arsenal of toys these days. I’ll see you at the gym.
Nerdlord, talking so much about video games makes YOU a nerd…lord. But at least you’ve developed a craft from it. You’re also driven by a chip on your shoulder which makes you okay in my book. Though you are not one to fade away, I just hope you don’t burn out.
Backstabber, we need to mix politics with wine like we used to. I kind of need a refresher course. And kudos on the 7am street hockey. You’re like some kind of red cheeked Energizer Bear! So apply that energy to your Masters and get it over with already. Jeez!
Woody. I miss you. I hope you’re still beating up guys who deserve it. Remember, you’re the only one among us who can get away with that kind of behavior so take advantage. Just don’t get fired.
Trebek, eat your vegetables. Also, I miss your earlier posts before the days of shameless advertising. And at this point, I almost miss the shameless advertising.
Slapmaster J, thank you for knocking some sense into this blog. Huh… I don’t think I should play the truth truth game with my girlfriend so I’ll stop here.
Raspetienne, remember where you got your name. At one point in your life, you were drinking and womanizing like a certain Russian monk. That is all I have to say.
Arilucho, you smoke too much dope. What will you do when you’ll one day wake up in the middle of Thaïland with no pants on? Consider this as a thought exercise.
Hamma, where did you go? Stop pretending that you’re more mature by disassociating yourself from this blog. Once a 19bernarder, always a 19bernarder.
Ana Bananaz, I can’t say much because I don’t know what’s going on with you these days. And that’s the problem.
Qibiche, sorry if some of us were jerks. Psychologically banishing you from the blog was a bit unbloglike. At least you’ll never read this.
Maya Papaya, I know you still read this blog. Admit it!
Masquesetparfums, I admire your entrepreneurship. You’re also one of the only original originals that I will ever meet in my lifetime. Nonetheless, you’re like my arch nemesis for some weird reason.
Bonerpants, where do you go off preaching to others as if you were holding the conch of reason? You work too much, you don’t know how to have fun anymore without hurting yourself and you’re slowly being digested by some corporate beast. It’s time to slay that beast and get the fuck out!
Anonymous, you’re a pussy for remaining anonymous.
And finally, 19 Bernard, you really need to come up with your own content. You are the embodiment of our collective downfall. You best shape up and soon!
4 comments:
Hear! Hear!
it's a vicious cycle though. The more our posters remain insular, the more likely we are to repeat the same types of posts ad nauseum. Paradoxically, our repetitive posts discourage people who do not regularly post from posting here thus preventing the infusion of new blood and new ideas.
Logically then we have 2 choices: either post the most random shit we can possibly find or not post at all. In the former case it's easier said than done but was pretty much what the first couple of 19B years were anyways (just reread some of the old posts... the gaping vagina is still sitting there smiling at us from 2006 as a token of our lost immaturity). In the latter case, well, that kind of defeats the purpose of having a blog in the first place.
We need to expand our real life experiences so we have more to write about than bikes, video games, the newest movie or the finest way to get nerdlord drunk enough to give you a reach around. Only then will our post quality follow. In that vein I suggest that we all as a group decide on an activity or seperate activities that are entirely uncharacteristic of us.
I could for example go to a poetry reading (I have an intense dislike for poetry). SB could join the Canadian Armed Forces. Nerdlord should enroll into a seminary. Candyman should become a stock broker and Bonerpants should quit his job and hobo tourist around Canada for a year.
But ultimately we need to come to grips that we're growing up that the 19 Bernard was a fond memory from glory days that we should cherish but not expect to ever have again (unless someone buys a house and we all move in together) and that it's quite possible, even likely, that as we gain deeper and more numerous wrinkles and as our bodies start to produce hair in places never though possible so to will our interests and tastes change.
And this is where I would post an image of a gaping anus to show that we have come full circle.
amen.
*tear shed*
Post a Comment