Wednesday, November 8, 2006

Back at Me! (rant)


Yeah, I completely agree, rain sucks. I despise rain. Which is yet another reason why Garbage is garbage. Not just because of the soulless, insipid aural pollution they call music. But I'm Only Happy When It Rains? Give me a friggin' break! Garbage, you're so lame that even I, Amresh Puri, Overlord of Un-Lameness, am becoming lame. I mean, here we are in late 2006 and I am rapping about some pedestrian journeyman crappy band. Crap! Crap! Crap!

Uh-oh, Garbage, you got me going! Perhaps the only thing lamer than you, Oh Garbage used-to-be-pinnacle-of-lameness, is out of control political correctness. I remember when I worked at the Plebe's Pea someone told me not to say that something was lame because it was derogatory towards people with mobility issues, or whatever it is they call handicapped people. And since when is it wrong to call a spade a spade ? Are handicapped people not handicapped ? Huh ? Are you trying to tell me it's an advantage to have a «mognon» instead of a right leg? And what's up with all these words we can't use? Why can't I say nigger? For crying out loud (and I am) there's a country with that name! We're supposed to call it's citizens Nigerolions? Nigerinos? N-wordians ?

No! The foot has come down. Really, it has. I'm gonna say what I want, when I want. Which can only lead to one thing. Yup, next stop: Nofriendsburg, Brokenteefannose Province, population : me.

F-off Garbage! Fuck you Late 90s Mix I heard last night. You got me stuck in the past. Hooray for the future! Hey, did you guys hear that Britney Spears is getting divorced?

6 comments:

Jobless in January said...

Oh...

um...

I don't know how to respond to this rant... Myabe you should go for a burger and a beer, that always helps me out, then make a pact to yourself that any time you see litter bug fuckers that have no respect for your city, to pick up there god damn tabernouche garbage! and you will yell that at the top of your lungs...

Jobless in January said...

you know on a better train of brainstorming: you could start a garbage collection party... this would help your political placement. And wear a fishing vest with all those pockets and a big X on the back that is florescent and in each pocket you could have a beer and when the beer is done, you have to go re-fill your pockets at the 19...

Jobless in January said...

and then when you are out of beer you can continue to make the city beautiful by bar hopping and picking up the garbage... fuck that would be alot of coverage over the city... fuck

Karl Hungus said...

Britney Spears is getting divorced!?!?!

Jobless in January said...

WHO?...

alex trebek said...

isn't she fat now? i don't want no fat chick...